Re: when do you decide to give up
^ totally...
just a footnote though, im seriously no way the giving up type. Ask anyone who knows me... id die trying rather than giving up
If there is no physical/verbal/alcohol abuse or cheating etc., then you have problems of an emotional nature…like you just don’t like that person.
So, what do you tell Allah mian on the day of judgement…Ya Allah, I just didn’t lkie the dude so I thought I’d find someone else…ummm didn’t like dude 2 or 3 either so, yeah… 
I don’t think that’ll cut it. But sadly, a lot of people are doing that these days.
Now there are many other issues like husband not taking responsibility or just having a nasty attitude. These things can be worked out. Sometimes a sensible emotionally stable person needs to get involved.
Re: when do you decide to give up
^ i know..
actually the topic came about as we were discussing somenoe who got married and within less than a year decided to give up due to family backgrounds and some different personality traits.
The first year is so tough... if people can work past it... they should try. A lot of the times these days, people dont think like that. They think "i aint happy... dont think can be.. so lets call it quits..."
how about trying just a little harder.. getting past that one year... i dunno
Re: when do you decide to give up
They're idiots who are all about immediate gratification.
Re: when do you decide to give up
there is no such thing as immediate gratification...
Re: when do you decide to give up
You know it's not always about physical abuse/alcohol abuse or cheating...sometimes two people are just too damn incompatible. It's usually the case in arranged marriages. A lot happens in a marriage behind closed doors that is not very apparent. What if a guy is such a loser that his life revolves around pleasing his parents and not making sure his wife is taken care of. That case doesn't involve physical abuse/cheating or drug use, yet the wife can be very unhappy in such a marriage. Does she have to stay in such a marriage because there is no blatant abuse? I know of a very close friend who was in such a miserable marriage where her in-laws constantly criticized her, didn't let her study or work, and her husband never ever took a stand for her or took out time for just the two of them. So there wasn't any 'abuse' in the literal sense but was it really a healthy marriage?? I think she did the right thing by walking out and she is so much happier now.
Marriage is so much more than just physical abuse or cheating...it's about respect and taking care of each other and most importantly making each other happy. In my opinion, when the respect isn't there, it's not a successful marriage...it's just a sham.
Re: when do you decide to give up
I would give up when I know its not worth it.
Re: when do you decide to give up
its better to do Consensus better than giving up!!
When you know its not worth wasting your life over.
If things arent going the way you planned... not the way you wanted them to.. would you give up? Different personalities... different goals... would you not try hard to make them work, or at least align somewhere in the middle?
what would make u give up?
Why you want others to be the same as you? If others are ready to accept as you are, don't ask others to be like you. Help them achieve their goals and their dreams. Life is not about winning everything and sometimes you can win by losing something.
Re: when do you decide to give up
When you decide to give up you go to ihatemyhusband.com or ihatemywife.com forums and after reading 5 or 6 threads you actually start to love your spouse and completely forget about "giving up" because then you compare yourself to others who are in far more difficulties and far more worse situations, and sometimes you just become sick of other people's rant and don't wanna become one of them.
Re: when do you decide to give up
what if the hubby is always cursing - not necessarily at wife - but constantly regardless of what happens around him - not even related to him - and he curses in front of kids - then what?
I know someone who has a habit and he won't stop regardless - actually the person trying to stop him would get cursed out right there too.
That's having no manners, morals, nor class. But what can a wife do in this situation?
Re: when do you decide to give up
^dump him.
Re: when do you decide to give up
I can't relate to it a 100% bc I am not married but the kind of person I am, I may feel like giving up if everything I am doing or everything he is doing is out of a mere compromise and not out of sincerity and happiness.
PS: I said 'everything' bc sometimes we all do SOME things that are out of a compromise and not a 100% happiness but if EVERYthing is being done that way, then i think there may be a problem.
I think I will not be able to put someone through the torture of just HAVING to do things for me instead of WANTING to do things. It's a terrible feeling to know that someone is just doing something out of 'duty' and not love.
Its tough working on a marriage, believe me cuz I’ve been through that. No physical abuse, no cheating, no in-law problems… but we were just the opposite end of a pole and it got really tough the first year when we realized that. Totally different lifestyle, totally different views about life, totally different upbringing, totally different ambitions… and we worked it out. It was really hard at first, but now we’re MashaAllah happy.
Although my husband still keeps complaining that I’m not ambitious enough and have got no drive for achieving anything 
(he’ll never give up I guess) but now I just listen to it from one ear and out the other. I compromised on a lot of stuff and so he has to also. I don’t wanna be the next CEO of my company, leave me alone dude.
P.S. The nagging about wet towels on the bed and leaving clothes on the floor does not work 100% :hinna:
Re: when do you decide to give up
I think its time to leave when two people live as room mates rather then husband and wife.
When you lose respect for one another and despite many valid efforts, things continue to go south.
Before leaving, you should try to talk, go to a marriage counselor, Imam, etc.
Its not right to leave someone just because you dont like them but I will say...its better to be alone and happy then married and miserable.