What is your version of sabr?

[Paheli00]

Re: What is your version of sabr?

@Reha

Let’s say you’re married and your partner is good to you.

He/She (it could happen to either party) has been a good spouse but somewhere along the way they developed some…bad habits. Habits that can be self destructive as well as fatal for a marriage:

Drugs
Alcohol
Gambling

They’re not abusive but do have these problems.

What would you do? Would you get them help? Would you leave to teach them a lesson?

Well, I would probably have more “sabr” if its just us. BUT if there are children involved in the picture, anything that threatens them is a deal-breaker for me. Not only would I not want my kids threatened…I also would not want my children growing up with someone with those habits and thinking that they’re “ok”.

1. Drug addiction: If there are children in the picture, then discovery of this would be immediate cause for separation. I don’t know why any mother would want her children living with a drug addict. Personally, I would separate and allow him reasonable time to work on his addiction. If he refuses to work on it…then yes, after some time, divorce would happen.

2. Gambling: Although I would not separate immediately, if after some time he refuses to recognize this as a problem and work on it…then yes…I would not “put up” with this forver. The last thing I need is to find out that my husband gambled away our life savings or our children’s college fund simply b/c I didn’t have the courage to stand up for us (me and the kids).