With no offense to anyone, a simple rule should be applied.
Unless you are seriously interested to marry a specific girl, look at every other girl the way you would like other men to look at your mother, sister, wife and daughter. (whichever is applicable in your case)
Because this is what justice demands.
Eyes are the door to one's heart. If one let this door be open to all the "dirt" than that dirt would enter his heart through his eyes and polute it. A poluted heart than controls his actions and force him to obey his prohibited desires.
Anyone who wants to keep his heart as pure as that of a newly born baby, he should keep three doors (eyes, ears, mouth) shut to all kind of impurities.
With no offense to anyone, a simple rule should be applied.
Unless you are seriously interested to marry a specific girl, look at every other girl the way you would like other men to look at your mother, sister, wife and daughter. (whichever is applicable in your case)
Because this is what justice demands.
Eyes are the door to one's heart. If one let this door be open to all the "dirt" than that dirt would enter his heart through his eyes and polute it. A poluted heart than controls his actions and force him to obey his prohibited desires.
Anyone who wants to keep his heart as pure as that of a newly born baby, he should keep three doors (eyes, ears, mouth) shut to all kind of impurities.
With no offense to anyone, a simple rule should be applied.
Unless you are seriously interested to marry a specific girl, look at every other girl the way you would like other men to look at your mother, sister, wife and daughter. (whichever is applicable in your case)
Because this is what justice demands.
Eyes are the door to one's heart. If one let this door be open to all the "dirt" than that dirt would enter his heart through his eyes and polute it. A poluted heart than controls his actions and force him to obey his prohibited desires.
Anyone who wants to keep his heart as pure as that of a newly born baby, he should keep three doors (eyes, ears, mouth) shut to all kind of impurities.
Subhanallah, very well said! Bless you along with your family.
I lost my father. I have no son. My ex ripped me off. Thus, I didnt feel the need of mentioning those personas. So, plz bear with me. Thanks....
Why would you want to share such things where there is even a slight chance of ridicule? You must remember that there are a lot of immature people here.
There are also those that judge an entire community based on just few people they come across.
I think this would be a good time to relate the following:
*But his people gave no other answer but this: they said, "Drive out the followers of Lut from your city: these are indeed men who want to be clean and pure!" *
*But We saved him and his family, except his wife; her We destined to be of those who lagged behind. *
*And We rained down on them a shower (of brimstone): and evil was the shower on those who were admonished (but heeded not)! *
[Surah Naml: 56-58]
So does this mean that Lut (A.S) judged the rest of women based on his experience with his own wife? Does this also mean that others should also do the same (judge all the women based on few)? Absolutely not! While I acknowledge that there are black sheeps in every community (men AND women), we should not judge an entire community or entire race based on those few. Allah has made man and woman to be companions of each other and find comfort in each other. I don't understand how intellegent you have to be to understand this.
It is possible that a spouse is not exactly the way he/she should be but Allah will be the ultimate judge on Yaum-al-Qiyamah and will give ajar for our suffering (we should be righteous and wait for Allah's justice with patient). I have come across women who had bad experience with their spouse and now think that all Men are some kinda pigs that just sleep all day, watch TV and don't work and make women pay the bills (which is not the case. Infact, Allah has made Fardh on men to provide his wife and kids with food & shelter, not vice versa). I feel sorry for such men and women.
Nowhere does Allah or His Prophet (S.A.W) instruct us to judge an entire community/race/gender based on few. It doesn't matter whether you have had bad experience with spouse once or even ten times, all men and women are not the same nor can all men or women be judged on few.
@ Pathani: I wasn't talking about your father, son, spouse specifically. You said M*e*n are not good enough, hance I felt the need to remind you that you forgot to include those personas.
^^ My comment was not pointed at you bhai so don't get angry. Merely that I've never shared with anyone here the calamities that have crossed my path except one time when shared a hospital experience. And for some reason I don't understand how people can be so open with complete strangers on a forum, let alone in real life.
This thread has all of a sudden turned so serious.
Nahi bhai jaan, aisi koi baat nahi hai nor was I angry while posting that :)...I was just trying to make us (people like myself b4 anyone else) realise that we cannot and shud not judge everyone based on few people. Having a bad experience with a bad husband or wife does not make everyone bad. No hard feelings, I wasnt angry :)
I lost my father. I have no son. My ex ripped me off. Thus, I didnt feel the need of mentioning those personas. So, plz bear with me. Thanks....
Sister, insha'Allah you would meet your father in Jannah. You see Allah tests people whom Allah loves the most, that is why the Prophet (saw) went through the worst pain in his life in every way which no human on earth ever experienced.
He lost his father even before he was born. At the age of 6 he lost his mother. Then when he was in intense need of support of his wife and uncle, Allah took away both of them in one year. Most of his relatives died in his life. Allah took away all his sons in his life. Allah took away his 2 daughters in his life.
Allah puts those people to test whom Allah has blessed with the strength to go through those test, as we can't imagine the unlimited and ever lasting reward Allah would bless us for such tests which are for negligible period of time as compared to the life hereafter.
Whatever Allah does is better for us as Allah knows best and our mental capabilities are too limited to understand the wisdom behind His decisions.
May Allah bless your father with Jannat-ul-firdos and make his grave a piece of jannah to comfort his soul. The thing which would benefit him the most at this time is sincere prayers of his children.
May Allah bless you and your family with all the blessings of this life and hereafter.
Unless you are seriously interested to marry a specific girl, look at every other girl the way you would like other men to look at your mother, sister, wife and daughter. (whichever is applicable in your case)
Because this is what justice demands.
Eyes are the door to one's heart. If one let this door be open to all the "dirt" than that dirt would enter his heart through his eyes and polute it. A poluted heart than controls his actions and force him to obey his prohibited desires.
Anyone who wants to keep his heart as pure as that of a newly born baby, he should keep three doors (eyes, ears, mouth) shut to all kind of impurities.
Assalam u Alaikum,
Brother Submission to Peace, I have to tell u this.... Allah SWT has blessed you with amazing aqqal, along with the ability to communicate this well to others... I pray I attain that one day inshallah! the way you have managed to explain the behaviour in which we should all conduct ourselves as Muslims is amazing... Jizak Allah Khair for that. Your sincerity shines through all the way!
BTW: a reminder to all, if you aren't checking out the opposite sex for reasons relating to marriage, just rememer Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts) and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent” [al-Noor 24:30-31]
Thanks for the kind words of encouragement. It is just that I share what I learned in bits and pieces from the scholars whom Allah blessed with wisdom and knowledge. I am not good myself but the grace, mercy and blessings of Allah helped me. Alhamdulillah
I have alot to learn from pious and practicing muslims like most of you (masha'Allah)and need prayers for that.
@Topic. Those who lower their gaze after coming across the na-mehram of opposite gender, Allah would bless him with a "Halawat" (pleasure) which he would feel in his heart. Hadith
In other words, you are judging all the men because of the few black sheeps you came across?
In few words, NO I dont judge any. To end this misunderstanding, allow me to say....I have given up negativity. I avoid it as much as possible. Im not bitter or seeking revench. Infact, I dont bother to bring him to court even, caz I have forgiven. In this proces, I have GAINED the world in my hands. My ego is not bothered, it was just not meant to be. I let this affair in hand's of Allahjee. Period.
As for future, in due time I shall remarry and have a "naik" companion and kids. Im sure of it. I have a lot to give and also share. I dont intend letting the past destroy my powerfull future.
So if you had this thought, please rest assured, I respect & admire many men whom I interact with. There are plenty whom are at GS. Now, thanks for bringing to my attetion, how easily things can get twisted and misunderstood. Jazakallah.....
^^ My comment was not pointed at you bhai so don't get angry. Merely that I've never shared with anyone here the calamities that have crossed my path except one time when shared a hospital experience. And for some reason I don't understand how people can be so open with complete strangers on a forum, let alone in real life.
This thread has all of a sudden turned so serious.
As I repeat, I dont tend to follow up on negative remarks or perceptions...... Its simply a waste of time. I see you want me to avoid getting into "trouble", that I appreciate. Jazakallah.