That little counselling session on chat yesterday really got me thinking. What am I doing? Why do I even going to USA? Am I running away?
It started with me asking my American Guppies Chat friends about American weather and then it went to which cities are not that cold and it went to talking about Chicago, Dallas, New York and California. She asked me what I am going to be doing in Chicago and I said Journalism. As the chat continued I told her that but I really wanted to do Agha Khan Islamic Architecture Masters programme from MIT and then I told her no and she said just wait and stop. Think for a second about what you really want and I said MBA. Then she told me but you will not be able to work in America because you wear an abaya. It got all confusing to me and by the time I left chat I was really confused.
However, I kept on thinking what I want and I have come to a conclusion. What I really want to do is go to UK and not USA. All my life I studied in British system schools and have a British passport and I am highly patriotic about anything UK. I advocate and talk about London as if I live there. I watch British shows, I have British friends, my English spellings are British. If I go to USA it will be like changing myself completely. Do I really want that? I mean I also got admission in to Warwick university and that is supposed to be really good. It is like ivy league university of UK. So if I have that option available to me, why not.
I will regret all my life if I went to USA instead of UK. I know myself and I know I will regret it and then there will not be another chance. How many masters am I going to do any ways. Just once. So all this thinking led me to believe that I do not give a crap about what F and W say, or what anyone else says for that matter and I am going to UK. Oh and I am also going to regret for life if I do not tune my accent to be truly British. This is also a once in a lifetime opportunity so finally PCG gave me that final push I needed to decide between countries and oh PCG you are correct, I should not ask other people about what I should do and think for myself and not let them take decisions for me or to a certain extent influence my decisions. I have finally decided.
1-Gong to US does not mean you have to convert from being British to some thing else.
2-Ticket back to UK is like 200$..why would you regret---unless you come on a ship which sails away after dropping you off.
3-You may lose aabyea--and still dress very modest--there is always room for change.
Be open.
I say go to US, and experience life. Don't think to much over it.