Sufferings of Widows in different Cultures

Arts & Culture Culture, Arts, Literature & Linguistics
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Re: Sufferings of Widows in different Cultures

Interesting and informative :k:

What about Sawtri who followed Yamraj for life of her husband? I mean what is the source of this story and why this is in conflict with the verses of Vedas which asks widows not to live with dead husband and move on. Is this another form of exploitation? Also is this story followed in same spirit in all Hindus irrespective of their region?

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Re: Sufferings of Widows in different Cultures

thanks for the like. I must clarify i do not know all too much about scripture and Hinduism mythology but i am interested in culture and learning more of religions of the world. The story of Savitri and Satyavan is retold in Mahabharat when Yudishtir, one of the righteous sons of Pandu, is asked if there has ever been a woman as virtuous as Draupadi, his wife, and Markandeya, the story teller, tells the story of Savitri and Satyavan.

Savitri’s father was a King who had prayed for a child for a long time and he was finally granted a beautiful and dutiful daughter, Savitri. Savitri is pure and beautiful and intimidates many men none who come to seek her hand. She insists she will find her own husband and chooses Satyavan, the son of a blind king, who only has 1 yr of life left but is perfect in every other way. His father had lost his kingdom and they now lived in the forest. Despite this she chose Satayavan as her husband. despite her father’s wishes for her to choose a more suitable husband she chooses him. As the day of his death approaches she fasts and prays for his life to be extended. One day while Satyavan is cutting wood, he becomes weak and his head falls on Savitri’s lap. When Yama raj, god of death, comes to take away his soul she follows him though he convinces her to turn back. So in a way he was asking her to move on but she was a dedicated wife and though it was not obliged on her to do this she never thought of Satayavan as dead and felt she could get him back from the dead. It is an ideal love story not expected to be replicated by women in this age. In that age of truth (called Satyayug) men and women were honest, dutiful and very pious..women of pious nature had power to give curses that doomed kings and kingdoms. The power to self immolate they also had..which is where the story of Sati comes from. This time called Kalyug is a time of corruption and immoral so such high behaviour is not expected yet good behaviour is encouraged. Indian culture has gained this tendency to compare women to the past ideal women although the times are different and expectations are different. In addition, Sati had a husband like Shiv,who is seen like an ideal husband in India, in that they complement each other. Without her he saw himself as powerless (she is his shakti), he did great penance to find her, when her father did not accept him he did not stop her going to her father’s event where he was not invited and just asked for her to not lose her temper. At the event her husband was disrespected by her father and abused she got into a fit of rage and used her yogic agni powers, gained through ascetic prayer and devotion, to immolate herself and prayed in next life she will have a father she can respect. When Shiv found out she did this he got into such a rage that he performed this ferocious dance which the other gods had to stop and had to take away Sati’s body. In the process her body fell into many pieces scattered on the subcontinent, where temples are made, some of which exist in Pakistan. In her next life she came as Parvati but Shiv did not accept her immediately she had to do great penance to inform him she was Sati and to gain him as a husband. So this story somehow proved justification for women to ascend the cremation bed with husband in hope they will be in next life together i am not sure how. It definitely did not exist throughout history. In fact, Raja Ram Mohan Roy was one of the first to mention that this practice was against the vedas and he played a big part of its banning when British were in power.

There are such ideal stories of children sacrificing all for parents like that of Shravan, who spent his life taking care of his handicapped parents and never married or that of Eklavya, who represented dedication of studies and duty of sacrifice a student has to teacher. They are given as messages of conduct but it is not expected all children/students will behave like that etc. This story falls under that.

So with Savitri she tries to convince Yama that as a wife it is duty to be there for her husband, she tries to speak words of friendship and praise of Yama as a just and fair leader to convince him, how noble conduct involves doing right action but not hoping for reward. Yama is impressed and grants her boons except for Satyavan’s life. She asks for her father in laws’s eyesight, his kingdom and to have children with Satyavan. Initially he refuses but seeing her dedication and purity he grants her another boon this time without disclaimer. So he grants her that wish. They live together in eternal happiness. For her he had never died and there was never any mention of any sati (interestingly the original sati did not occur when her husband died. It was completely her decision.) This story is used more as a story of wive’s love for husband and one of dedication rather than conduct after husband’s death.

So her story is seen with the same spirit as the original Sati of respect and love between husband-wife. It is definitely well respected throughout India but it is more popular in South, in Telegu and in Odisha although it is seen in same light as a love story such as Romeo-Juliet. TV shows and movies have been made on this.

A lot of cultural traditions exist to emphasise and celebrate relationships and to pray for help in maintaining longevity of relations whether that be husband-wife, brother-sister (or siblings).
In the north India Karva Chauth is seen as a main celebration of husband and wife. While stories of love between husband and wife in mythology would be invoked from religion this is not really based on religion as such and is more cultural based on how in past husbands used to go for long military campaigns in time when rain was short and wifes used to pray for their good health and long life. So wife would pray and fast to ask for long life of her husband and he would come then they would eat together and he would bring her some gift from his travels. Or nowadays some husbands also fast for their wife’s long health since the original reason of only husband being away from home and distance is not always valid. It is also done by unmarried girls for someone they consider their husband (as you may have seen in DDLJ when Kajol does it for SRK). I guess it is seen as an Indian Valentine’s day.

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Re: Sufferings of Widows in different Cultures

Detailed :k:

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Re: Sufferings of Widows in different Cultures

I am impressed you read all of it. Someone who was not as brave would have got tired halfway through. A lot of my threads have many fall asleep already. Good bed time reading.

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Re: Sufferings of Widows in different Cultures

Its all about interest. I can read long but relevant material on topic I'm discussing anytime :)

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Re: Sufferings of Widows in different Cultures

Well suffering of widow in Victorian Britain wasn't easy as well. The whole concept of widows not wearing colourful clothes (well most of them never stopped wearing black), marrying again, living again, enjoying a social life was seen as forbidden practices.

As far as Sati tradition is concerned, well if you have to draw the list of reasons why India was so rapidly colonized and became the centre of all attention, Sati tradition would definitely be somewhere on top the list. Besides, the economic reasons, the amount of Christian missionaries who sailed into India just to save widows from being burned alive, cannot be ignored.

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So British took Satti to colonize India like Hajjaj took abducted Arab ladies to invade Sindh. Interesting.

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Re: Sufferings of Widows in different Cultures

If you read the British imperial history, the missionaries played an absolutely vital role in colonizing the territories. Sati in case of India was very useful in getting the missionaries in and gaining the support and sympathy at home. Of course economic reasons, land race, European rivalries, expansion of imperial prestige were essentially the the main contributory factors behind Brits capturing India but the cultural superiority cannot be ignored. The whole idea that we are doing these people a favour by colonising them, saving them from barbaric customs and practices was also a driving force behind all their imperial conquests. It's very similar to US invasions and rhetoric of democracy and human rights.

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Re: Sufferings of Widows in different Cultures

I think they exploited certain traditions and maintained status quo and in fact enjoyed some bad customs of sub-continent. While they actively worked against Satti.. They were unable to see karo Kari, Wani and like customs requiring their input. Probably, they didn't find courage in them to deal with these customs.

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British dealt with the issue of Sati most brilliantly, it was very cruel system and brits dealt it by outlawing it, during their time, there were very little riots, very less communal tension as well, they brought in the words, system, in indian landscape. For political reason they promoted Christianity, they brought science to India, though pundas, read and got nobel in science and literature :), They used this money to make a much larger British empire, rather than wasting money in making mouslem, minarets and tombs all over country. the very concept of nationalism is British :)