PCG- I really think you give desi men too little credit. I would say even do a poll here. You will be surprised.
In the end there is an expectation mismatch in many couples that goes unaddressed. There has to be parity in total effort.
The biggest gap I see is when a dude works and feels that he does not have to do much at home..
Or for the same dude his stay at home wife feels that as soon as he comes in she is off since he has not been doing anything at home.
The challenge is that he is exhausted, and well if there are small kids at home, she is too. He needs some wind down time after a long day and commute, and she is disparate for a break.
As long as both realize that neither has had a picnic. They can arrive at some reasonable arrangement.
The above is a very specific type of situation, many other situations exist, and empathy is a key.
Wherever there is an issue, it's lacking or limited in one or both spouses.
I go through spurts But seriously, I know that while there are times I’m “free” during work, doesn’t mean that my work isn’t busy or unimportant. Honestly, this is one of hte advantages of a working wife, where she understands that sometimes you get so insanely busy or that you dont’ want to be bothered as soon as you get home. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t need at least a few minutes of breathing space right after they get home from work. People who hardly work/stay hoem all day don’t really understand that.
I read somewhere about having a rule about giving your husband (or wife) 30 minutes to themselves when they get home. Just some time to wind down before they start working around the house. What say ye married people of GS, is this feasible or not?
I read somewhere about having a rule about giving your husband (or wife) 30 minutes to themselves when they get home. Just some time to wind down before they start working around the house. What say ye married people of GS, is this feasible or not?
I think it completely is feasible.
My husband works from home now, but when he was commuting, I learned quickly to give him a little time to unwind.
I read somewhere about having a rule about giving your husband (or wife) 30 minutes to themselves when they get home. Just some time to wind down before they start working around the house. What say ye married people of GS, is this feasible or not?
it depends on the time. On most days, my wife and kids get home before I do, so usually, kids would unwind with some TV or books, while she gets a break, what that means is that when i get home, I get a break as I change and rest for a little bit, may not be 30 minutes but its late enough that we have to have dinner. So whatever time i get I get, my drive back home is pretty relaxing as well so that time helps unwind anyways. usually after dinner is the time to relax for a bit. Now there are times where its been a long tough day and I would step away for a little bit and even join everyone late for dinner, but its rare. The days I work from home or I get home early, I will get dinner started/ready before everyone gets back, and then as I sign off for the day, I would take the time that I would usually be commuting back to just kick back and relax.
the things we have to balance are, the time she and I get home, the time we have dinner, homework for kids..and we have to work around that. All in all its not bad at all. Not always easy but you know, you have to balance, if I leave office at a decent hour, I get more time to unwind, if i dont and I am working late I am walking in right around or even after usual dinner time, having 30 minutes to unwind would mean kids wait for dinner, thats not cool.
I think it completely is feasible.
My husband works from home now, but when he was commuting, I learned quickly to give him a little time to unwind.
Adding this.... I don't know how it would work in a joint family or with children in the picture. Adults can understand you need quiet time, I dont know if kids can (or should)?? parents can weigh in
kids are okay, and to be honest, after a long school day, they need some chill out time too.
very small kids are a different story though and want to attach themselves to any limb of mommy or daddy as soon as they see em :)
I read somewhere about having a rule about giving your husband (or wife) 30 minutes to themselves when they get home. Just some time to wind down before they start working around the house. What say ye married people of GS, is this feasible or not?
Depends on the couple i think...
I usually get home a bit earlier than hubby does, so the first thing i do is make some tea/coffee and have a shower to get rid of all the stress and load... When hubbh gets home he wants a hot cup chai and geo news (dont know what it is with news but okay)...cuz it is almost dinner time he joins me in 20/30 mins in the kitchen to help with dinner and gets fresh before food s served... N after that we have some time for ourselves...
I alsobhave colleagues who go to the gym directly after work so that they can empty their mind and not think about nything by the time they get home... So yeah it really differs per couple
But seriously, I know that while there are times I’m “free” during work, doesn’t mean that my work isn’t busy or unimportant. Honestly, this is one of hte advantages of a working wife, where she understands that sometimes you get so insanely busy or that you dont’ want to be bothered as soon as you get home. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t need at least a few minutes of breathing space right after they get home from work. People who hardly work/stay hoem all day don’t really understand that.