Hmmmmm......Well I have been married for a while now and have two lovely daughters (mashallah). Both my wife and I work fulltime and a lot of what has been stated in Devoted's article is how our married life has developed. Alhimduliilah , Allah Tala has blessed us with a very happy and contented married life.
So even though there are people here who believe that devoted's article may not be relevant to "real " life, I and my wife practice it and have found it works. Thats not to say that it will be the same for everyone, but I think there is a lot of food for thought in this article........
So even though there are people here who believe that devoted's article may not be relevant to "real " life, I and my wife practice it and have found it works. Thats not to say that it will be the same for everyone, but I think there is a lot of food for thought in this article........
i agree, marriage does take effort, especially during the first year or so when you're trying to understanding this whole new area and your significant who you'vre moved in with and alot of this advice is helpful, when implemented it does work. i suppose those who are married may understand better ?
believe me Aaisha this one works :) Approval is not assoc. w/ an age. You can probably see it in your every day life. When someone (say your boss) commends you on the work you do, then you feel appreciated.
I'm married,Alhamdulilah, and i think, no i know, that my husband would flip out if i praised him just to praise him even though i may not agree with what he's doing or has done. That's called lying in our book. . . and we don't lie to each other. Much of what this article is suggesting is paint a rosey picture for your significant other even though you may not really feel that way inside. Sure, i think it's great short term. . . but resentments build up. And no, I don't think every marriage is the same and i'm sure for some (as is evident on this board), these kinds of tips help. . . but for others, they really don't. For my marriage, they really wouldn't. . . would everyone like to be respected, trusted, admired, etc. etc. . . . i'm sure, but i wouldn't want it from my husband unless it was one hundred percent genuine and he wouldn't want it from me unless it was exactly how i was feeling.
And all those examples the article gave about how our Prophet (pbuh) and his wives were, well they're great but I would venture to say that the Prophet and his wives were a hundred percent genuine when they acted in said manner.
Again, is there good in the article? Yes. . . but not everyone wants to pretend to be admired and not everyone wants to pretend to admire. To ask that of your significant other, in my humble opinion, is unfair. Best thing you can do for each other is be yourself. In fact, i think it's one of the greatest gift you can give to your husband or wife, be yourself, be honest. . .let them see inside you to the person you truly are. And that may very well be one of the best gifts you give to yourself as well.
And all those examples the article gave about how our Prophet (pbuh) and his wives were, well they're great but I would venture to say that the Prophet and his wives were a hundred percent genuine when they acted in said manner.
Again, is there good in the article? Yes. . . but not everyone wants to pretend to be admired and not everyone wants to pretend to admire. To ask that of your significant other, in my humble opinion, is unfair. Best thing you can do for each other is be yourself. In fact, i think it's one of the greatest gift you can give to your husband or wife, be yourself, be honest. . .let them see inside you to the person you truly are. And that may very well be one of the best gifts you give to yourself as well.
I sound like a friggin halmark card.
Been married for abt 8 years now and i cant remeber a single moment when I pretended to my wife about anything. I have asked her and she feels teh same. We started our marriage with these foundations and alhunduliilah it has fluorished into something very beautiful.....
Solar Im not saying that one should pretend about anything as ultimatley the truth always comes out one way or another. However there are many ways of expressing the your tue feelings. A sweet tongue and tone can make even the most bitter truth bearable...... Use the wrong words and you could end up hurting some very sensitive feelings......:D
^this board is a good example of multi cultural/every thing multi/ environment, a nice place to share and learn at the same time. Both said it nicely according to their situation and ppl (cultrure/mindset) envolved.
SolarOceans expressed it in a white way, Please correct me if I am wrong; and Hercules expressed it in a desi way, Please correct me if I am wrong.
:halo: