Re: So what if I do not want to have kids?
Hi guys, I recently came back from Pakistan and it was fun but the eternal question of “Bachay” haunted me through out my stay of 25 days. You see I have been married for five years and at this point of our lives we do not want kids. It is a mutual decision and this was how I always imagined my married life. My friends and family used to say that you are crazy because a girl should have kids soon after marriage but I always disagreed. All of them have one or two kids by now and they now think that I am making a big mistake. But at least I can argue with my friends or family but when it comes to in-laws and further in-law family I can’t argue. And their first impression automatically is assuming that we are unable to conceive so they some times give me dua to read or ask me to consult some famous gynecologist. If I tell them that we are not planning to have kids they never buy it. And I am sick of the rumors that we can’t have kids. It was so uncomfortable to even hold and kiss a baby in the family without having to see the pity in people’s eyes. The thing which worries me is further down the road if I ever want a kid it would be my preference to adopt one but again you know even if I mention this option in my in-laws it would be like conforming their doubts. People in Pakistan typically think that who in their right mind will adopt if they are able to have a biological child. What do you guys think of this situation? It is awkward to start a thread on this topic but hey I might get some good suggestions to deal with it.
Do not care about what people say, look at me, I'm going to be a mum for third time and believe me everyone was shocked in my family to hear the news and some of them(very close relatives) said to me very upsetting things like " you shouldn't have done this before 5 years", " 2 kids were enough for you", " I hope you won't go for the forth one", " how you gonna manage with three kids" it'd be so hard raising 3 kids " etc.