I’m a teacher and I teach the same age group as your brother.
Teachers are advised by experts to start the year in a firm/strict manner. Because it’s easier for a teacher to start tough and loosen up during the year. BUT it’s difficult to start easy with the kids and then toughen up. Reversing the order is not only stressful for the teacher, it also is not good for the students.
Teachers do sometimes** lecture** their students that they want to see good-quality work and not garbage…especially with older students (not everything needs to be or should be sugar-coated). However…I do agree…that your brother’s teacher…SHOULD NOT…have written “that’s rubbish” on an assignment. Because such a written comment is not teaching your brother what his mistakes are. The teacher should have written down the errors…with the suggested corrections.
******KEEP IN MIND…that the “rubbish” comment could also be a cultural thing. Teachers who have been brought up in Pakistan/India are used to a more tougher and blunt teaching style.
From a teacher’s point-of-view…I will advise you to talk to the teacher, FIRST! Many parents rush to complain to the principal without receiving clarification from the teacher first. EVEN THE PRINCIPAL understands that he/she was not in the classroom to witness the event and that the teacher can best explain to the parent what happened. And often times the principal will refer the parent to the teacher anyways.
For example…if you had a job…and someone has complaints about a particular task that **ONLY **you handle…you would want that customer/client/co-worker to talk to **YOU **about it FIRST…as opposed to “going over your head”…and complaining to the boss who does not directly handle your work and therefore can’t address the concerns effectively.
A detention twice a week…is NOTHING. I have a lot of patience in general…but I’ve had to give some students more than two detentions depending on the offense/misbehavior. A detention is not as bad as a suspension or expulsion. It’s one of the minor consequence. And since you don’t know what happened in the classroom…it’s best to talk to the teacher to find out.
There are many teachers (and I know this from experience)…who give multiple chances/forgiveness to students for their offenses (not completing homework, not following directions, talking out of turn, breaking rules, etc). And eventually the forgiveness/patience runs out…and the teacher has had it…and administers a punishment. SO, talk to the teacher to find out what happened exactly.
Also…I would advise getting your brother tested for learning disability. You said that he is “slow.” Sometimes the “slowness” could actually be a result of a learning disability such as dyslexia or auditory processing disorder. Once the student has been diagnosed…the teacher can implement accommodations to help the student learn better…and it gives the teacher a better understanding of the child’s needs.
*******Finally…an 11-year-old student is a child and sees the world from a child’s perspective. Therefore a child who goes home might explain a classroom situation to his parents in the defensive tone of a CHILD. His/her perceptions and reasoning will be different from that of a mature adult. For example, a child might explain to his parents that the teacher was “mean.” MEAN is a subjective word. What is “mean” to a child…can seem reasonable and logical to an adult. Fair parents calmly listen to their child’s explanation…and without rushing to become defensive and emotional…they then calmly talk to the teacher to get his/her side of the story…BEFORE jumping to conclusions.