Sexting

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
21

Mamaof3 - there are kids that swap phone now. So you child says he/she is at the library. They gave it to their friends while they are out doing something else.

I do agree - home computers in the middle of the living room. Install net nanny or other tracking software. Regualry check for sites visited. You can also get a keystoke recorder - that will allow to get a log of every chat/ or word that your child has typed.

I don't think you need to play detective all the time but it's helpful to keep you children safe! (I agree too many crazies out there)

22

Re: Sexting

i think some of u guys are forgetting one thing (or not yall are the parents not me)

trusting ur kids..

all these softwares and stuff is good, but how many parents really implement and use them just because? usually they use it for some time, but once their kids gain their trust, they stop using them.. after which the kid can go crazy or not..

like i siad... yall are hte parents and wud know better, mujhe kya pata?

23

Re: Sexting

Sara - trust is great! But blind trust is not.

You also cannot trust other children (way the behave), even some adults around your kids. You have to be vigilant more than ever.

I get what you are trying to say. I use to HATE when my parent enforced rules, went through our rooms but you know now that I am a parent - I will do the same to keep my child safe.

24

I don't understand why parents allow their young children to watch movies, T.V., and Internet sites made for teens and adults. And what's with parents who buy their girls toys like Bratz dolls which look like tiny hookers? Then the same parents are shocked when they read these kinds of stories (children acting out sexually).

Of course even those parents who do monitor what their children watch will be exposed to other children who aren't monitored, but building a strong moral foundation at home will go a long way in combating the influence of those kids who expose them to things you don't want them exposed to.

Parents need to help develop their child's self esteem, especially girls. Personally I think a good way to do this this is at a young age expose children to experiences; rather than spending money on toys (which are mostly crap anyway) buy them some kind of individualized lessons (1 on 1) be it in sports, music, dance, acting classes, or whatever which will help them build self confidence in themselves thus leading to better self esteem and will more likely influence others rather than becoming the one whose influenced.

Finally, I think it's important for children to see other places and cultures (travailing abroad particularly) so they know a whole other world is out there which they can look forward to, I think this can help alleviate depression (thus making them less impressionable by others) by knowing that a whole different world is out there if they happen to be in a situation they don't particularly like.

25

Re: Sexting

^ that's..like..wow..excellent.

26

O trust me, I am 100% with you on that.. those dolls do look like that ,, and then with all this teen dressing, hannah montana style .. what is that all about .. man.

You know, the romantic themes that they have in young adults/pre-teen shows, even on Disney channels were not even there in adult sitcoms back in 80's. You remember shows like Family Ties and Growing Pains .. they were more G rated than kids shows nowadays

27

These are all great suggestions. I agree building self esteem is very critical to young girls. You have to careful nonetheless.

Example is sports - My cousin played soccer from elementary school. He was really good.

Once he got into high school, that's where the trouble started. The team had over** night trips**. Kids were doing drugs in the locker room. Once you are on the school team and want to stay there you have to go to all the games. The cheerleaders were also an big issue. My uncle had to take him out of the soccer team because despite all his islamic upbringing the peer pressure was just too much.

28

Re: Sexting

Peer pressure is the biggest culprit that is ruining our kids. No parents in their right mind are going to allow their kids or would not stop their kids form involving in such activities.

Kids, in my opinion should be restrcited to meet other kids only in the public environment like play grounds, class rooms etc. We never had slumber/pajama parties or stay overs in our days and I do not see a need of that even now. I am not sure why this is becoming so common even in our own community. You leave 2-3 kids of young adult age in a room over night, what do you expect they gonna talk about or do. Grils will talk about boys and boys will talk about girls that could lead to more negative situations such as above example that I gave

29

Re: Sexting

^ :k:

parents should start behaving like parents, learn to take control, set rules and not just be obsessed about being the cool or fun parent all the time, the lines get blurred, what kids need most and what they benefit most in the long run are clear do’s and don’ts. seems like a no-brainer but thats what seems to be missing.

cell phones and internet usage should come with responsibilities, they should be earned so kids know their importance and think twice before abusing them. text messaging and internet access are optional on most cellular plans, just don’t subscribe to them, limit their exposure for the sake of vigilance. they’ll thank u later for it.

Timepass - November 2012
Timepass - November 2012
30

Re: Sexting

Stopping kids from using cell phones is not a solution next day they may use paper and pencil for "sexting".

Parents needs to be more vigilant and involved with their kids. Materialistic world has made parents so busy that they dont have time for the kids. They both work long days to buy these gadgets for kids but they forget that its their time that they need to put in!

I have seen parents dropping kids to their friend's places for hours coz they don't have time to entertain them or even stay at their friend's place to watch kids.

31

Re: Sexting

Man just today i was lisetning to a bunch of high school guys talk about some girl. really sad. :(

32

I used to teach middle school. Some kids start getting involved in stuff like this before they even get to high school. And as a teacher you get a feel about the parents when you talk to them. I don't like stereotyping but the parents of kids who get involved in this stuff are usually out of it.....they're not doing a good job monitoring their kids.....or they are not the authority in the house.....the kids have more control....so the parent is not behaving like a parent. And there can be exceptions as well, but that's what I've noticed.

Also, if parents set the appropriate Islamic foundation for their kids as to how to behave around the opposite gender, then there are less chances of sexting. Often times parents assume that their child knows better than to drink, do drugs, what have you.......and so they never talk about these things, which is wrong. Maybe an option could be cell phones with limited abilities and features.

33

Re: Sexting

I read this in the news the other day–pretty shocking, even more shocking to know its not an isolated event..

14-year-old New Jersey girl may get sex offender status for posting naked pictures on MySpace

Charges against Clifton girl spark debate about teens’ lurid pictures - Breaking News From New Jersey - NJ.com

Given the actions of htese young “children”…does the punishment fit the crime??

34

Re: Sexting

^ sad. i guess they are setting an example for other kids and parents by being so strict, before it becomes an epidemic, or is it one already?

35

It's definitely an epidemic, but I don't believe that stopping sleepovers, taking away cell phones, or completely restricting activities is the way to go. A lot of it depends on the company that your kids surround themselves with, and it is your job as a parent to make sure that you not only know your kids friends, but also know their parents.

I have two teens and two tweens, and they are surrounded by this every day. I know their friends, I allow the girls to have sleepovers with a few select friends, but they are not unsupervised. That's right - if the girls are having a sleepover, mom gets to attend too! We all sleep in the basement, watch movies, and make snacks and I do henna and occasionally their hair and makeup. I haven't had too many complaints yet.

Sports are probably the MOST EFFECTIVE way to keep your kids out of trouble. Kids who are playing sports, especially on the traveling teams, do not have time to get into trouble, especially if they are busy working on maintaining their GPAs. Almost all high schools have mandatory drug testing for athletes, so I have a hard time believing that these kids are doing drugs in the locker rooms.

My younger ones do not have cell phones. This edict is currently "ruining" my 14 year olds life. However, they do not need a cell phone. I drop them off at school in the morning, their brother picks them up at the end of their activities, and I expect that the will be at school during the day. If they are not, the school will call me and let me know. There is absolutely no reason for most kids to have a cell phone, period, which immediately puts the kibbosh on sexting.

Finally, and most importantly, homework is done at the kitchen table, and the laptops do not leave the kitchen or living room. There is no reason for anyone to have a laptop in their bedroom. No one has pressing homework that MUST be done after 11:00 p.m., which is when hubby and I go upstairs. If they do, they can come to my room and hang-out with me. I also have net nanny on the computers and all passwords. If you change a password without giving me a new one, you are grounded from the computer for two weeks and get to spend more "quality time" helping mom and daadi around the house.

My restrictions occasionally drive my kids up the wall, but it's working for us so far. We'll see how it goes when choti is a teen, she is the one who most loves to push the limits.

Sau Khuloos Baaton Mein Sab Karam Khayalon Mein
36

Sometimes I think its necessary to buy a teen cell phone so they can tell us where they are, but we should keep talking to them aobut good and bad.Because if I told my child that we cannot have pepproni pizza and she understands it then she can also distinguish between what is right and what is wrong.
PS I like to buy my children a paid cellphone so whenerver I have to pick them from library or friend's house they can just give me a ring only:D

37

And about computers we have to be very careful as above posters have rules I should them too.