Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
Confi congrats! What did you have and how lovely?
I had a girl. 7lbs 1. A good baby who I am soooooooo grateful for.
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
I personally don’t believe in this theory of “self-soothing”. It is a bizzare concept of a child crying until it soothes itself. However, I do believe that parents have the right to do what they think is best for them and their children. I miss holding and rocking and sleeping with my babies - I really do and even though I at time was so tired and exhausted I used to love, absolutely love holding and rocking my babies to sleep - it calmed me and actually made me feel so close and bonded to my child, oh I miss it!!!
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
^ actually, no, self-soothing is giving them an outlet to actually soothe themselves until they fall asleep, typically a pacifier, or sometimes, they find their thumbs. what you’re talking about is the “crying it out” method which i think most of us here disagree with.
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
I disagree with you, self soothing is not only applied to using an outlet, it is a concept based on self regulating themselves (crying) so they are able to sleep (in this case) unassisted. That’s why the original poster decided not to go ahead with it because she didn’t like listening to her baby crying.
When someone says self - soothe that includes the crying it out method.
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
^ That’s not how I understood it, and it was never the case with my baby, for example. His pacifier actually helped him soothe himself, i.e. NOT start to cry at all because the sucking would give him comfort. As for the original poster, she found her own way of self-soothing by tucking in a blanket around him so he felt held as he slept. Again, the goal was for them to soothe themselves so they wouldn’t cry. Sounds like we’re both looking at the same issue from different angles.
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
I cant even imagine to resort to self soothing if letting the baby cry on until they fall asleep is what it means. HELL NO. Cant bear her sneezing or coughing even and let her cry on??
But I would be interested in knowing any way which could help me soothe my baby when she cries. Because as all babies would, I guess, sometimes she would cry without any apparent reason, like she would just have had her feed, and wouldnt need a nappy change too. And would be already held, and still cry on. Last night she did this and I had to pace around in the room carrying her so that she would stop crying somehow.
I mean here I get the point that babies can cry in order to be held for comfort, but why should they still cry when they are being held already? Also, what I gather from the posts above is using pacifier is ok. Is it really? I always thought it is a no no, and dont want to use it for the baby, but ofcourse I need the opinion here, and if pacifier, how early?
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
Don’t get into the habit of walking the baby around to put her to sleep. Aadat bohut jaldi par jaa hai aur dayr se jaati hai.
I understand your baby is very little and it’s fine for the first few months, but she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own and to self-soothe.
And I say this from personal experience. My sister’s younger daughter stayed with me in her first 15 months and she would only sleep if either my sister or I walked her to sleep. When she woke up at 2am and then again at 5am, she wanted to be walked back to sleep - she would cry if you didn’t walk her. And then too, it would take ages to get back to sleep. You get super tired walking a baby around for hours!
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
^sometimes they cry if they have a gassy tummy…what I do is just tap his tummy to see if that is the reason…if it is then I just keep him with me and stroke his tummy downward till he starts passing gas…
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
Did she burp? Maybe she had gas, you can rub baby’s stomach or put them on their tummy for few minutes to help them release gas. Give gripe water. Was she over dressed or underdressed? Many time when I take my son’s socks and hat off, he feels very relaxed. Pacifier is fine, use as needed. If the child doesn’t desire, don’t give one, if you need to sooth the child, give them one. When your baby is really cranky, try giving them a massage with oil or a moisturizer, it also helps calm down and sleep. Put some soft lullaby on.
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
And whats the solution then? I mean what did you do to avoid that? self soothing?
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
I know I sound SUPER STUPID asking this, but how do we know by tapping the tummy that the baby has gas or something? 
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
I don’t really agree with that. We use to walk the baby around for sleep, we did this for a 3-4 months, however, now he wants to sooth himself to sleep. At 15 days they are too little to be self sooth. Walk them, swaddle them, rock them…whatever comforts them. Try working on a sleep routine for the baby…it will help.
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
if the tummy feels hard.
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
I need to jot all this down. I actually watched this johnsons’ cd of baby massage today and was impressed by the way the babies find the massage so relaxing. But the problem is, mine is only two weeks as yet, too fragile and delicate to be handled and massaged. And then the winters here are severe still. A little cold and she starts to sneeze and has a blocked nose. uneasy breathing. We do not have central heating system and the heater is rather hazardous to be put on all the time so I just find it rather scary to put all her clothing off and massage her.
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
makes sense. thanks
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
It also didn’t help that I had her sleep in bed with me :hinna: But after she would keep me up for hours, I was desperate for sleep and would just let her sleep with me so that I could get some rest at night. My sister’s older daughter (she was only 12 months older) was sleeping in her room and if she had both of the babies with her, it would have been a full bed.
It took about 2 weeks to change her habit and get her used to sleeping in the crib (as opposed to the bed) and from there, we worked on sitting in the glider to get her to go to sleep as opposed to having to walk her to sleep. It also helped that she was getting older and wasn’t as physically needy.
The only reason we even broke that habit was I was moving away and my sister was exhausted just by the idea of two babies under 30 months sleeping in her bed and waking up throughout the night.
LOL! As it was, her husband used to end up sleeping on the ground in their room until the girls started to sleep on their own.
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
I specifically said it was okay for the first few months, but to not make it into a long-term habit.
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
Well when you have to massage, turn the heater on so it is warm. Don’t take off all the clothing. First do the legs, when you are done, cover them, then chest, when done cover, then cover. Don’t put her on floor for massage but use your bed. Use a humidifier, it will help with the blocked nose. If you don’t have a humidifier, put a pot of water to boil.
Re: Self-soothing - When is it the right age?
I’ll give you another example of creating bad habits.
My youngest nephew was nursed by my sister for 12 months. During the days, he would reluctantly, but would take expressed milk in a bottle if they were out somewhere. During the days, he was happy to play and be with all of us. The only problem was at night he WOULD NOT fall asleep unless my sister nursed him to sleep in bed. Obviously, the baby wasn’t unfamiliar with me - he would play with me and stay with me until it was bed time. He also didn’t have a problem drinking from a bottle. But he was so used to being nursed to sleep - that last feed HAD to be nursed and in bed, and obviously the only person capable of that was his mom.
I had babysat him many times during the day, no issues. But late night baby-sitting I did twice (once at 6 months and once at 11 or 12 months) and my BIL (father of the baby) babysat him once when he was 7 months old. And each of those times, he cried for an hour or more because he was used to my sister nursing him to sleep. We would literally call my sister out of whatever place she was at to get her to come home and soothe her baby. Out of my 7 nephews and nieces, this was the only one I couldn’t put to sleep because of this habit.
He’s almost 15 months old, m’A and other than those three times, my sister hasn’t left him at night (and by leaving him, I mean going out for 3 or 4 hours).
BTW, I am not in any way discouraging you from nursing your baby - just suggesting that you need to be careful about sleep routines/habits when your baby is a little older.