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yikes.
Thank you KRD, and all otheres for your posts.
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I agree with PCG. If you can't keep your knob under control and end up siring kids out of wedlock, then you should bear the consequences.
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Totally agree with you KRD :k:
non of us is farishta, pre marital sex is less evil than rape.
so mixing it up with rape is not right at all secondly, ususally such things happen with consent of both parties. How could one put the blame to male partner only.
Having a sex is one thing and deciding not to avoid pregnancy is other. Girl, should consult her partner about this stuff.
As far as jassoos’s question is concerned, such incident would ruin not only life of ex-BF but his marital life too including spouse n kids.
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Imranq has a valid point.
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you should know that no contraception mean is 100% sure, so there is** allways a risk of pregnancy, and guys should know that…**
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jasoos at least you have a conscious about the possibilites. Some guys and girls are stupid not to think about it that way and end screwing up kids life....no child deserve to be without a mother or a father and not having a normal parent.
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Best so for, :k: thanks jal pari.
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errrr if she shows up on your door and sees u married with kids she should be smart enough to compose herself and act like an old colleague who came to congratualte for the marriage since she missed it or something.....unless ofcourse u dumped her or u did something to piss her off in which case it will mean a bubble of trubble. :(
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And just to be clear, i don’t think girls or guys, once they know they r pregnant shud be running away from their responsibilites or anything. All i am trying to get across is that it’s not rite to say, “oh well, they deserve that!”…bcos ppl make mistakes, and yes then they shud take care of the consequences. Even if it was foolish of them to have premarital sex and/or get pregnant, it doesn’t mean they deserve to be looked down on, it’s God’s place to judge them and see their mistakes…not ours. And I think it wud be scary in the situation jasoos has described, not only for the guy, but for the girl too. But when going over there she shud be firm and straightforward, not beat around the bush…afterall, this is a child we r talking about, and even his new wife has a right to know.
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well if you wanna play, you should be willing to pay the price. Usually its the woman who pays the price and if you think about the situation that Jasoos has brought up ...well guess what....the guy never knew that he fathered a child and so has a big shock but there's a gal who decided to bear and raise her child. Thats a bigger thing and a tougher thing to endure.
This happened somewhere in my family actually. I have a 2nd or 3rd cousin whose husband fathered a child when he was in his 1st yr of college. He never knew till 17 years later when the boy knocked on his door. The boy was having life troubles and his mother sent him to meet his Dad. Thank goodness my cousin opened her heart and home to him and was very understanding or at least forgiving and open-hearted about it all, they got him all straightened out and he's a happy and productive citizen these days....
it does take 2 to tango yeah? the burden typically falls upon the woman tho. But be warned guys....later on in life, be ready for shockers like this if you decide to "play"!!
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Thank you guys,
mamaof3 good point.
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People are so bloody judgemental. There is nothing wrong with having "premartial" sex - if that is what you are looking for and its between two ADULTS. Why enforce your morality on others? Jeez.
So far as the situation goes, hahahahahaa :p
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hiccy its not that funny, :o
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Its not an issue of whether premarital sex is wrong or right.
You have a baby, and that baby is your RESPONSIBILITY. So a guy screws around before marriage, and then has a child out of wedlock (knows or doesn't know about it), goes on to get married, and has kids from his wife...
How is it fair for his previous girlfriend to shoulder the responsibility of that child on her own?
If she dumps that child on his doorstep, then GOOD FOR HER. She already
- Gave birth to it
- Probably paid the initial expenses - hospital bills, milk formulas, clothes, diapers, etc etc.
Uh uh, people, he needs to take care of that child as well. It is NECESSARY to drop that child off at his house, so his family knows about that responsibility as well.
And if he gets hard joothay at home, then he DESERVES that and a trip to hell as well.
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Typical feminist vindication. These screeching feminists are so blind and hell-bent on punishing the males, that they forgot about the real victims of the collateral damage such scenario--as the one jassoos has brought up-- could create: the child and the wife of the man.
Jassoss' scenario:
Guy has premarital sex with girl1
Girl gets pregnant, doesnt tell guy and bolts (selfish slut)
Guy meets Girl 2 and marries her (neither guy nor girl2 knows about the child)
Girl1 shows up at doorstep after 14 years with a child
Girl 2 suffers immensely and feels cheated, but can't blame guy, cuz even he didnt know.
The child suffers from having to grow up without a father.
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It’s not our own morals, it’s Islam.. like it or not, don’t go around vindicating those who prefer to follow a moral code.
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finally,
thanks dope,
at least you understand the situation,
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conclusion: honesty at first is preferable the girl1 is at fault for not telling she was pregnant…
so guy should not feel guilty he could not have done what he was not aware about…and girl2 should not feel cheated, the guy had sex before marriage not after:D
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Well what about a case where she did tell the guy and he turned his face from her? :o
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^ Then she is justified and he is a jerk, i agree… but how can he be wrong if he never even knew he had a kid ??? 