Re: Random
One of the hardest decisions in life is deciding whether to walk away or try harder.
Re: Random
These are very easy for me.
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How?
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What did you end up choosing?
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When I meet with people, I ask myself if meeting them makes me feel good, do they bring me up or bring me down. Will they ever bring value to my life. Are they toxic, do they disturb my peace and happiness that is how I make that decision. I have even emotionally disconnected from siblings as they are judgemental and as in @Aqua case after a long time they came to visit and they also started to target my kids in order to protect them, I need to insulate them. I feel if you are trying to hurt then you are not really family.
The best way is to not really burn bridges but disappear from the scene.
Re: Random
People never change, my wife bent over backwards for my sisters, she gave them gifts, supported them through emotional times, sickness etc and she thought she will win them over but she had a big shock that even after all this they were judgemental and negative towards her. You look at a person now and decide to walk away or leave based on who he is today. As tomorrow or 10 yrs down the road that will still be the same person.
Re: Random
I didn’t
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What if it isn’t people but goals that we have to decide over?
As for people, I like the last sentence and agree with it. It’s never difficult for me to decide whether to walk away or try harder where friends, colleagues etc are related. But not where family is related. My take on family is different.
Re: Random
Inlaws are inlaws and not really family.
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My sisters are real family to me though. Even with her own sister who tried on many occasions to hurt her and to break our house she kept forgiving and the bs still continues till this date. She had some close friends who kept back stabbing her and she kept forgiving them. Most counsellors tell you that people don’t change. If your expectation for them is to change it wont happen.
Re: Random
I was talking to safy about goals and acronym for goals is S.M.A.R.T stands for Specific, measurable, Agreed Upon, Realistic and time based. Goals have to be measured at intervals and re adjusted. Were your goals specific, time based and measurable. When I asked Safy he said I want to be healthy and I told him that is not specific, we agreed he gains 10 lbs weight in 12 months, then we did a strategy and now he needs to measure monthly and adjust if necessary. Visualisation helps achieve goal and planning and strategy. I don’t believe in feudalism and family is family as long as they don’t have malice towards you.
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People change but you should not expect them to.
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Actually my goals were specific and time based. But it involved more than just me so kept having to adjust the time period. Maybe it is time to move on and change goals. But then I keep thinking, what if I am close.
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It really is a rarity, my wife used to volunteer at the shelter and these abused women would go back as the partner begged and apologized and promised to change and then they end up back again over and over again abused in worse shape. Men who cheat also keep promising they will stop cheating but normally keep cheating.
Re: Random
Goals also need to be measurable so in terms of measurement, how close are you?
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Mine isn’t measurable.
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True.
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Is there anyway you can try to measure, one of our course instructor had a personal goal of a better relationship with her daughter and she planned to spend more time together, argue less, get angry less, appreciate more and stuff. I make goals about relationship with my children and my wife also. Was yours something intangible like that?
Re: Random
No, not measurable in this way either 