Prince Charming Syndrome

Lifestyle Relationships
41

DiscoDuck, I don't know if I'm being pessimistic. I'd rather be more realistic and mentally prepared that the picture might not be all rosy as it looks right now. You're really blessed to have a husband who has turned out better than your expectations, masha'Allah.

However, I feel such is not the case with the majority of men. I feel they really do change after marriage, but women (more or less) stay the same. Yes, both husband and wife are burdened with responsibilities, but I feel wife has more on her plate than the husband. It's hard as is to move into a new family. It takes a while to get adjusted. If your in-laws don't treat you well, then it another pain and struggle. At least you'd expect your husband to be compassionate and when he changes his colours (ie. stops being the way he was before marriage), then everything comes down crashing.

I'm not married yet, but I've seen many desi couples. At least for the first few months it looks good, however, things change soon after.

As for finding someone with similarities, if the marriage isn't arranged, then to an extent, there has got to be similarities in order for the relationship to continue and perhaps think of marriage in the long run.

MehnazQ, it's good to hear that you aren't all dreamy. This reminds me, this girl I know has been interested in this guy for long. She made so many duaas to be with him and it actually worked, alhamdulillah. However, she is very dreamy and totally into 'Prince Charming' concept. When it was time for the guy to talk to his parents, she sort of started to back out. Why? Because although she likes him, she thought she may find her 'prince' later on or God knows what it is that she wants (or wanted).

Anyway, she's finally engaged to the same guy and I hope it all works out well for her, insha'Allah.

It's a total waste of time to be dreamy and looking for 'Prince Charming'.

My theory is to find someone who you are compatible with, do istikhara and take it from there. Keep in mind, you may have to change a lot or will certainly have to learn to be tolerant and compromising.

Such is life I guess.

42

I never fantasized about Prince Charming. If you accept the realities, it makes life a whole lot easier to live. Nobody is perfect. I am not so why should I expect my sig. fig. other to be a demi-god?

43

Larki: Then should we be living with our men for 3 days before marrying them, so we can get to know them well?

:slight_smile:

Sadiyah: The most sensible thing I’ve read on these forums in the longest time. :k:

44

I just want someone who'll be honest with me and forgive me when I'm being a b*tch..and I'll do the same..love will come with togetherness and I'll be happy to whisper all the sweet nothings.

Men ar just about as imperfect as we women are...

45

if given the opportunity, any guy/man can be ur prince charming and u can be his heroin

i see a lot of girls, and yes im at fault too, waiting for their ideal man to come along and take their heart away... oh and yes he does come along but girls forget that their ideal is as much human as they are and he will not be rid of faults... and when these faults appear.. things go bad

i personally believe, giving anyone a chance, be it someone u never thought ud be intereted in, they could actually be the perfect someone for u..

it depends on YOU.. the way you want ur prince charming to be..

put aside the ideals for a bit, and u'll realise that there are lovely guys out there who want to be and can be ur prince charming

46

Ladies, please remember that your man can change. And with the holiday season right around the corner, what better to give to yourself than to have your boy brainwashed! Yes! For a low, low, LOWWW monthly payment of five smilies, we'll decode all that chauvinistic BS! For an additional two smilies per month, we'll even destry his ego, pride and self-esteem! He won't even remember his own mother!

Remember Insanity Studios Inc for all your holiday shopping needs!

47

PyariCgudia, I've learned a lot from observation and experience.

lastknightess, I beg to differ about 'men are just as imperfect as women are'. Well okay may be we are all imperfect, but women don't change their personality over night.

sadzzz, what sometimes sux is when you put so much effort and the prospective other (or spouse) is not willing to change.

RT Wolf, smilies stop working after a while. Any other totkay? :p

48

^ I dunno. A smile from a pretty girl still goes a long way. Either way, I still accept body parts to be resold on the Chinese Black Market. My market ticker is handy there. The experts at ISI will even remove your man's kidney as payment, if you'd like.

Anyway, I'm an expert on derailing threads. Back to the topic, I agree with everything that has been said, except for the bad stuff.

49

It’s totally true.

Good thing I found one. :queen:

50

^ aww how sweet. sniffs

51

^ It's totally dangerous because it makes me completely hypocritical. Like, I want doors opened for me, and romantic, chivalric gestures. And yet I'm a total feminist and will not allow any reference to the inferiority or inabilities of females.

At least he understands that I'm crazy.

52

yeah...its good to have a guy who understands, isn't it?

53

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sadiyah: *

lastknightess, I beg to differ about 'men are just as imperfect as women are'. Well okay may be we are all imperfect, but women don't change their personality over night.

[/QUOTE]

Hmm I dunno about that..I on;t think anyone really changes their personality..it's just that they show you a side of themselves they may have deliberately hidden or you may have failed to see...

OR

They were just taking you for a ride.

54

^ it takes time for a person to open up generally speaking - whether its a romantic love affair or if its friendship with the neighbors down the hall.

Typical of human interaction - we always want to show our best side first, so as not to scare pple off.

Well, most of us do that…and then some of us prefer the scare-'em-off-in-the-beginning tactic. :hehe:

55

yep..thts prolly why I got dumped thrice.

56

Sorry to derail the topic again but what the hey. Speaking of ISI, I have read some horror stories about the people they captured and what they do with them. :soldier: I heard they not only go after you but your entire family also. And I mean the 3 month old baby is included also.:soldier: If you think pak police is ruthless, than you need to get a taste of what those ISI bad-asses hands out to traitors of pakistan. I remember reading the story of this indian spy that was in pakistan taking pictures of pak army bases. Well they caught him. Haven’t heard anything since then. anyone in here maybe would like to venture about the possibilities of what ISI agents did to that *******. He probably was chopped up in about 1,276 pieces and given to dogs as food.