Patching up with a friend

[redvelvet]

Re: Patching up with a friend

@pinkyy

One of my closest friends is angry with me,though i believe the reason for which she is angry is so silly .It so happened that,i called her but she being busy in office,she told me to call her back after 10 mins,but before i could call her back,i got busy with some other work and i so forgot to call her back.After few hours,she sent me an email,asking why didn’t i call her,and after that,i did apologize to her many times through emails & sms,but she just isn’t willing to listen to anything.Now when i call her,she doesn’t even answer my call.what should i do?I should just leave it & give her time?

1. I don’t understand why you apologized to her several times. There was no need to. Doing it once is fine…but more than that it ridiculous. This girl seems petty…and it sounds like she may have some control issues if she’s going to harbor a grudge and make you feel guilty over something so small. The world does not revolve around her…other people can be busy with things just like her. Has she behaved like this before? I wouldn’t be surprised if she has.

*Are you sure that she’s not answering your call because she’s pissed at you or because she’s busy? And when you say that she’s not willing to listen to anything…does that mean she blames your for not calling her back on purpose? If so, that’s just absurd.

2. Have some respect for yourself and don’t apologize to her again. If you plan to continue being friends with her…then I suggest you set some boundaries. Talk to her and REMIND her that she TOO was busy when you first called…and therefore it shouldn’t seem weird that YOU got busy in something and weren’t able to call her. Then tell her that you find it disrespectful and ridiculous that she continues to ignore you after you have apologized several times. Make the point that while your failure to call her back was not deliberate…her ignoring you is deliberate and it’s petty. Also tell her that you don’t appreciate being treated like this over small issues…that you’ve done your part in getting back to her…and that SHE can call you back when she’s ready to let this go.

*If she calls you back and wants to discuss the matter in a constructive manner…great.

*If she doesn’t call you back, that’s fine as well. Life is too short to stress over such people…and you can find other friends who are more reasonable/mature and can respect you.

• If she behaves like this in the future OR if this is typical behavior of her…I’d consider letting her go or at least maintaining a distance. Not healthy to be around rigid/unforgiving people.