Parking Lots!!

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Re: Parking Lots!!

I'd like to ask anyone of that particular mindset....ok you are alone caring for a terminally ill loved one, you are elderly and slow but able to get about. You can illegally use the sticker and take 10-12 minutes to accomplish your task or you can NOT use the sticker and take 45 min to an hour. Your loved one, although fast asleep, will attempt to get up on his own if he wakes. AND will almost assuredly have a bad fall. Your neighbors all work all day and your daughter wont be back for 2 days. The "thick-it" you need to use to thicken his water and juices has run out since he drinks a very small amount, it goes bad and you have to use it quickly or toss it.

SO

DO you do the 12 minute trip or the 1 hour trip?

ME? No question about it whatsoever. 12 minute trip and if theres a fine then here take the money. It was well spent. The safety and well being of my loved ones comes well above the "black and white" in cases like this.

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no never

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Its not as easy as paying a fine, you seem to have no concern for the rights of the people for whose direct use those spots were intended. so someone in a wheel chair who needs that spot cant even get out because soemone like you took that spot...place a dollar amount on that guy's suffering.

in a caring community people would not violate the rights of others, the infiorm, the wek, the elderly.

you want to pay fine, go double park it..park it in loading or no parking zone..

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what about safety and wellbeing of others????????????

oh and yes, I have had to deal with this stuff myself, because as I took my sister to the hospital while she was going through cancer treatment, someone had parked in the special permit parking spot because they felt their emergencies and needs superceded those of others..

to me that is just selfishness

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If you can read and understand the circumstances and still call it "selfish" then yeah, thats me, thats my mom and thank goodness gracious, its also the rest of my family.

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Re: Parking Lots!!

your circumstances dont supercede the circumstances of others. You parking in a handicapped aspot may prevent someone in a wheelchair to get his medicine. as I said ..u have a need, and are willing to pay..park in the loading zone.

what you are doing is not only selfish, it is illegal.

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No

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i've never done it, would never do it, and never been in a car with someone who did it..:)

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Park in the "loading zone"?? Ok, the stores on new york and in South Carolina where I and my Mom live respectively do NOT have a "loading zone"....but they DO have a "fire zone" that people occasionally use as such. When they do, store emplyoyees come running because of course, you're blocking entry for firefighters should the need arise for them to get into the store. Using that particular spot puts ALL patrons and employees of the store in danger. Double parking in that area would serve to make matters even worse. From our experience, from talking to others using the stickers, we had far more need to use the spot and would be welcomed and cheered on in court. SHEESH. WHen you are a 68 year old woman with COPD and cataracts, getting to the store while your dying husband of 49 years sleeps and returning before he wakes...this should get an award for accomplishing the task before a major accident occurs rather than a good slapping around from those who cant comprehend the situation.

I was so pissed off at the response here that I called the manager of my local grocery store/pharmacy. They said that those "mommy spots" are really for mommies to use but of course, they are rarely used as advertised. They are more like "emergency spots" and never would they persue charges against someone seeking to get in and out in a quick fashion due to reasons of need.

Now THATS caring and being part of a community. As opposed to the straight-laced upright-uptight-citizen type of community that would prefer a dying man with brain tumors to have a bad tumble out of bed and crack his head on a tile floor so that the "handicapped parking" permit is not abused.

Since (as I saw on the crime channel last nite) the amount of time served for MURDER is about 5 YEARS....heck I think we'd serve about 2 minutes in jail.

Well worth it methinks. Selfish? Yeah if you;re an uncaring and inhumane SOB. But I've met so very few of these types that I may perhaps be specially blessed.

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and these 3 parking spots in the local mall with a placard showing a stork with a baby in a blanket are so tempting; parking spots for new mothers (or soon to be mothers)... now with all the parking spots within 1/2 km unavailable, I really drool when I drive around these vacant spots ... again and again

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I've done it. I had to get some medicine for my dad from the pharmacy. All the regular spots were taken. The only ONE that was available was the handicapped one. I knew it would take me less than a minute to check out the medicine as the pharmacy is not a busy place and has only a few parking spots, most of which are occupied by employees. So, instead of blocking someone's car, I parked in that handicapped spot, left the engine running, ran in, checked out the medicine in less than a minute, came back and left.

I know it's wrong and I am not going to sit here and justify it but under those circumstances (no other spot available and it took me less than a minute), I had no other choice. But I have not done it when regular spots were/are available.

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You are having problems accepting that what you do when you park in handicapped spots is illegal. check with your state laws. argue with them. so lets not just talk about mommy spots shall we, lets talk about handicapped spots, do call the DMV of the state and ask their opinion.

If it makes you feel good that some lil old lady in a wheel chair has to wait in the lot until a handicapped spot opens up, or when some cancer patient who has gone throug major surgery and is coming back for follow ups has to park 300 years away, then hey, i guess your definition of a caring community is different than mine. Its uncaring and unhumane SOBs who do that..me thinks.

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There ARE times Mr F when standing on ceremony and being the perfect citizen is at a cost to your loved ones. WHen the cost is too high, then I (personally) say "dam the torpedos, here I come" and yeah perhaps I may inconvenience someone for the 90 seconds that I dash in to the store. I just cannot imagine ANYONE leaving a dying and confused person (known to have bad falls) alone for 40 minutes when it COULD be done in 10....even if a law is being "stretched" to do so. Anyone who takes THAT particular chance IMHO is a person who needs to feel like the upstanding perfect citizen to the point that they put the safety of their loved one at stake.

I do NOT have trouble accepting that it is an illegal thing to do. The thing is, if it were to come to the attention of the authorities, it would be forgiven and perhaps even help offered to someone in such need. And if on the off chance that a judge/police officer shares your particular point of view, once again I reiterate that yeah the fine would be paid gladly since the need to use the spot to ensure the safety of a loved one just doesnt have a price.

May you never find yourself in that particular position...but if you do, may you also meet up with the kind of people that WE have. The kind of people that say "its ok, theres a need to do this. And can I help in some way?" .... instead of hearing "You uncaring, selfish SOB".

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Times...perhaps. but this sounds more like a standard operatign procedure in this case.

I just stop and think about other people's loved ones whose rights I am violating by taking over a spot meant for them, and not me.

correction.. its not stretching the law its breaking the law.

It MAY be forgiven..it defintely will not be forgiven if it is seen as a habitual convenience and not just some life or death matter.

so why not fire lane then?
and what about other people's loved ones for whom those spots are intended.

teh particulaer position I found myself is when i had to take my sister to her hospital after she had massive surgery from cancer and was on chemo and was going for a check up, and the handicapped spots for which she had a permit for were taken over by others without the tags who felt thay had some right to it. Out of frustration she cried..and all I could do was park the car in front of the bldg, helped her out, had her sit on a bench, parked my car at the closest spot I could and ran back to her..

and I hope YOU never have to find yourself in such a situation, where when you go for a real emergency and someone has parked illegally in that spot because they felt they had a right to do so in the interest of their loved ones.

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Sadly I didn't know about the pregnant Mom's parking spots while I was pregnant :( It would have been awesome as I was huge with issues and could have enjoyed benefit of parking closer to the stores/pharmacies.
oh well maybe next time :)

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Mr F -

"standard operating procedure" and "habitual"?? I wonder where on earth you got those ideas....as I said previously, Mom used handicapped sticker illegally and for the purposes I described all of TWICE in the 11 and a half months that my dad was sick. I used "mommy spot" once (maybe twice, not sure) in the past 6 years - again for the purposes previously described. You consider that habitual?

You were pissed when you didnt get a spot when you needed one with your sister. Could you have waited 90 seconds? While someone in need got their stuff done? I guess you had enough time to look in the cars occupying the handicapped spots and saw that they had no stickers...if you had time enough to do this, you should have had the time to wait 90 seconds. It seems you also had enough time to determine that those using the spots did not have "more" of a need than you did. You mentioned that you were bringing your sister for a treatment....is that a time critical issue? One that would prevent a bad fall or a visit to the ER? Very judgemental you are in this issue, to the point that you cant or dont want to understand. I just cant imagine YOU, in the same shoes as my mom was...saying that ok, I'll be a good citizen and leave my wife for 40 minutes even though theres a really good chance that she'll get up and have a bad fall. When you COULD break the law, use her sticker and be back in 10. Not when it comes to YOUR loved ones. Maybe its more important to you to be the upstanding citizen but to me and to my mom, family is first.

And heck, if I had a dire emergency...one more critical than the ones previously brought up, I'd call 911.

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well twice seems a bit excessive. and not only that you did it twice, you have already stated that you will do it again. you say its wring but you justify it.
surely there are other ways.

sorry but it its very obvious when a car has a permit or not. unless you aare driving like some f1 driver in a parking lot, you see a car and it takes a split second to see if they have a disabled plate or a tag. and I did wait but then decided that rather than waiting i needed to get her there for her treatment.

they did not have more of a need, if they did they would have either been at emergency ward or they would have had the disabled stickers.

maybe they had a need maybe they did not,. but they did not have a right to park in a spot clearly not meant for them.

i also mentioned that she was a cancer patient who had gone thru surgery. what do you think I was bringing her to teh hospital for? giggles and kicks?

to you and your mon YOUR family comes first even if it means breaking the law and violating other people's rights. That much we established already.

ahhh good...thats what you should do...

anyways, i think we just have a philosophical difference on this point of view so we will leave it at that.

although I have learnt from you and know how to handle this in future, if i can go back in time and be in that parking lot again. I would have just parked behind theh car in the handicapped spot..:D

peace out

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even if you knew it .. they may have been taken by someone who thought they needed it more than you :)

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Ahhh......a matter close to my heart......so much so that I will take time out of my day to go and report people that will abuse such privileges.

Here's something that I experienced....

Noor was just born....she was in an infant seat that had a folding/collapsing handle to carry it by. I was suffering from a c-section wound that had become infected and was in need of medicine. I was in pain.

I drove myself to the doctor's office, toted Noor in her seat inside, was evaluated and received the prescription I needed.

I then drove to the local WalMart as I needed the prescription filled as well as numerous items for the baby. WalMart was the "convenient" solution because I could take care of both requirements at one location and not have to lift the baby in and out of the car at three different places.

I pulled around the front of the store to gain access to the "Mommy spots". In front of me was a desi guy (and no I'm not ragging on desis, it just happens that this guy was a desi) who had stopped at the door to let out his wife and toddler. I was forced to wait while he unloaded since the driveway was not spacious enough for me to get by.

As soon as he was done, he pulled into the first aisle of parking and swiftly into the one empty "Mommy spot" that I had in my sights.

I stopped the car behind him, rolled down the window and gave him the meanest stare I could muster. He glanced my way, very briefly, then knowing full well that he was breaking the rules, sheepishly locked the vehicle and headed off towards the main entrance of the store.

I swear I wanted to drop kick him to oblivion.

While I understand the reasoning behind Mama's actions and position on the matter, I think that it's important to admit that what she did was break the law. The explanations, wheres and whyfores can all be presented and the perpetrator can choose to throw him/herself at the mercy of the judge reviewing the violation, but at its root the act itself is a selfish one.

Perhaps if Mr. F's sister was advised that the lady who had parked in the spot illegaly had done so to run in and out because she had 3 ill young children at home, she would have been happy to suffer the pain and discomfort for a few more minutes so that those children would not have to endure a trip to Emergency.

By the same token, if Mama had called her local pharmacy and explained the situation, her pharmacist might have been happy to arrange for a delivery of the necessary medications. The fee, I'm sure, would have been less than the cost of the fine for parking illegally.

Rules/Laws are set to establish order and accommodate society. In a democratic and lawful environment, we expect that everyone is equal and entitled to the same rights and privileges. If we begin to justify our indiscretions by saying that we are happy to pay fines for breaking these laws then what type of society does that reduce us to? Granted there are excruciating circumstances and often these cases are few and far between, but we cannot generally promote an attitude of complacency because this leads to a very slippery slope.

Sadly we cannot see too far into anyone's life/circumstances and overcoming the most basic instinct of prioritizing our own needs over anyone else's needs is the greatest challenge mankind has ever faced. Ultimately, the ability to look beyond ourselves and give the benefit of the doubt is the way to the utopian society that we value and strive for, yet almost always, fail to achieve.

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There are two issues here that have been thrown together...the "courtesy" or "mommy" parking spots and the "handicapped" spots.

Courtesy spots are just that. They are not regulated and fines cannot be imposed for using them no matter what the reason is for using them. Stores provide them as a courtesy, some being marked for pregnant women, some marked for parents with children, even some marked for the elderly. But again, there are no laws regarding their use or mis-use and no fines can be imposed for using them. While I may have been a "selfish SOB" for using the spot when I considered it necessary to do so, I was breaking no law. Neither are the numerous and varied others who regularly use those spots. I mean reality here - in my grocery store, its a really rare sight to see a mother with child(ren) using the "mother with child" spots.

On the other hand, my mother, in using my Dad's handicapped sticker without him in the car, did break the law. Handicapped spots are regulated and have rules to be followed and fines imposed when the rules are broken. Like I said before, she'd pay gladly whatever fine would have been imposed. And if she found herself in the same situation - no one to help get dad in the car and needing to get to the store and back before he woke - she'd have done it again. Most people would do the same in a case like hers. Theres nothing selfish or SOB-ish at all about ensuring the safety of a dying loved one.