Parents..

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1

My parents are coming to stay with me for a bit. I am happy but nervous at the same time.
Cuz, we get along very well, I have the utmost love and respect for them and we are very open with one another. My wife gets along with my folks better than I do..so thats sorted too.

Issue is, they have never lived with me. I mean I lived with them, left home at an early age and have since spent some time every other year with them. It was mostly in the family home in London or Karachi.

Other times they were in US we would be at my sister’s place and other relatives houses..

Even when they came for my graduation they rented a short term exec apartment cuz I was in a studio..

So, this is the first time that my parents are coming to my house and staying for a few weeks. I am nervous…

Plus, they dont know many ppl in mah town so they may get bored and I am responsible for entertainment and all too. Aside from weekends where we are doing roadtrips and touristy stuff, I dunno what I will do in the eves..or what I should do.

Anyone else been in a similar situation?

One of my pals had his mother come stay with him for months on end, but she liked to stay home and on weeknds he would take her to relatives houses which they had tons of in his city. My folks on the other hand are very active.

To sum my nervousness in one example is, if I am at work and I come home tired..and they have been waiting all day for me to get back..but I am in a crabby mood, or exhausted..and would rather just veg..

But..I should spend time with them and go out or chat or get beaten at chess again etc.

See thats the issue, when I visited them, we would spend tons of time together, but I was the one with all the time off and dad was the one busy at work, and with tons of cousins and pals around, I was out and about anyways. Dad was the one scrambling to make time to take us out or to rent movies…

My dad hates driving in US so they are not that mobile, and I live way out in the burbs
Luckil we have some relatives in town, one of my dad’s cousins lives here, and one of my mum’s cousin is visiting her son, but most of the other ppl i know are younger couples or people in their 20’s to mid 30’s.

Basically…I want to be a good son and make their trip and stay enjoyable, fun and relaxing and I am not sure how I will do that…

2

Don’t worry Fraud. They will keep each other entertained. It is harder when only one parent comes for a visit. My mom used to come visit us every year with my dad, now my dad comes alone caz of mom’s health.

Not to worry, I am sure your folks will have fun visiting with you. Give them a map of the city, and show them public transportation and places to visit in town. They will do just fine, and by the time you get back from work, they will also be tired, and won’t demand much of your time. Being nervous is normal. I always get nervous when my dad visits with us, but it always goes fairly smoothly. I miss him when he leaves.

Too bad they don’t have a grandkid (yet) to play with. Something for you and Babez to think about! You probably don’t understand how proud your parents will be (I didn’t learn that until I became a dad myself) to see you have your own house and environment independent from them. They will always be part of your life, but they also want to see their kids let go and fly on their own.

Good luck and keep us posted.

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My mother is here in states these days. She is staying at my sisters place not far from where I live. She is a doctor but she is having heart problems now. I dont even have courage to ask for her health as she has been taking care for our health all her life and doesnot want us to worry about her. But whenever I am worried about anything I just go and sit with her - feeling is magical.

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Thanks NY, your post makes me feel a lot better. They were major travellers and have travelled all over from Nigeria and Egypt to Germany and Glasgow so I am sure they can keep themselves occupied touring chicago.

The adventures my dad tells me are intresting as in how he worked and travelled from Pakistan to Iran, Libya, Iraq turkey and eventually UK right after his undergrad. Or how my pregnant mum escaped from Civil War in Nigeria with yours truly yet to be unleashed on the world camping along for a free adventure.

Hmmmm i guess it was a bit simplistic for me to think that they will be dependent on me while visiting chicago.

As far as having a baby. Thats mah trump card..they have been asking, and I have been telling them that as soon as they move to US they will get a grandkid. So based on my dad's retirement prediction summer 2002 looks like the time.

I was just thinking that ppl name their kids after angels like jibreel/gabriel or mikael/michael welll what about the other ones. Why not name a son as Azraeel..the angel of death. would u just not be the coolest kid if someone asks the meaning of your name and you just smirk and say its the angel of death...seriously.

anyways das a different discussion

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Fraudz:

My folks are here with me so I can't really associate with you on this one but, back in school days, my roommate's parents use to visit him so I can prolly put my two cents in based on his experiences.

Everytime they came to the States, I would move outta my room and crash in the living room, but I guess thats a different issue. But one thing about his dad was that he wanted to keep himself busy. His dad was in construction in Pakistan and then moved on to Middle East to work for Saudi Airlines. He'd pretty much kept himself busy all through his life so naturally he didn't like being locked up in a house. We would always give him something to do in around the house so that he felt he was busy.

Judging from you post, your dad appears to have kept himself busy and will feel pretty uncomfortable staying in the house. Like NYA said, hand him the map to Chicagoland and I am sure he'll get busy.

Also, you may want to find some chores for him. Do you have some stuff to do that you've been meaning to do for quite sometime now? This maybe a perfect time to get it done by asking your dad to help out. He'll feel he's being utilized and won't eat into your "veg." time.

Also, is your dad a handyman? Can he fix things arond the house. Don't take me the wrong way, but if you can, and he's capable, hand him some tools to do things around the house.

In the end, don't worry. Things always work out, especially with parents.

p.s. don't forget to bring him to Indy for a cup of chai with us!

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Ghalib I am sure he would like to meet a civil engineer of the new generation.

My dad has become a computer whiz in the last few months, and is bringing his laptop around so he will be busy doing that.

One project I have for him is to put our shajra in an electronic format. its in a published book right now and he has been asking moi and moi bros to do it so maybe hehehe i just get him the software and get him busy on that.

I have already arranged meetings for him with some engineering firms here, so he can meet with some ppl in same industry and maybe even for future advisory roles.

ISNA is around the corner so that will keep him involved in that plus he knows the IQRA academy folks so..thats one more thing.

I will also introduce him to a gentleman who is starting a newspaper in Chicago, they should hit it off well.

No housework needed, plus my mum did more of it than my dad anyways.

ammi I am not to worried about, as long as she has a few good books...tv, radio and a phone... she is all set, and with a chance to spend time with her bahoo and their plans to make diff types of dresses and all, she will be occupied.

Maybe I will just introduce dad to gupshup ahahaha :)

but thats for the suggestions, they have jump started many ideas here..

Oye is India-no-police en route to columbus ohio from here? I have a pal getting engaged in a few weeks and hafta head that way..

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Yeah... you can cut across Indy for Columbus, OH.

If you pass Indy without paying me a visit, I will hunt you down and slash tires on your car along with breaking a few windows and putting sand in your gas tank!

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[quote]
Originally posted by ghalib:
If you pass Indy without paying me a visit, I will hunt you down and slash tires on your car along with breaking a few windows and putting sand in your gas tank!
[/quote]

The statement has been passed on to respective law enforcement agencies.

Just one special request, can ya get some flat burger king coke for me? :p

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I'll go buy some right now on mah way back home....

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watch out for em tractors in the drive thru now ya hear...

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After reading Mr. Fraudia's first entry in this thread, am I the only one feeling sorry for him? I mean, what a crappy way of growing up. You missed out on a lot of good stuff Mr. Fraudia otherwise you would not have written what you wrote. Meri dili humdardi aap kay saath hay.

OH OH...HERE COMES DEFENSE. :)

[This message has been edited by Dopey (edited August 16, 2000).]

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Fraudia, you are not alone in your problem, this seems to be quite common with many people.

One of my friends' parents visited him quite few times from Pakistan back when I was in Albany. They would come to live with him for good but then leave after couple of months. The folks could not stay in US more than just couple of months.

The main reason was their boredom and lack of activities they could adopt to here because there wasn't really anything they could do. They didn't have anybody else living closeby from their age group so they felt left out socially.

My friend was working and could not spend a lot of time with them either. His parents did not have many activities to participate in so eventually they went back to their pind where they knew everybody and had a large social group to interact with.

13

Roman

my folks are only coming for a few months. If they decide to move here, I am sure that they will be able to establish themselves easily.

I just want to make sure that their trip and experience is the best possible.