^ You say that you LIKE having her in your life and that you’ve FORGIVEN past mistakes and have MOVED on from them. That being said, don’t bring up all that went wrong in the past. It takes TWO people to make a relationship and sometimes WE OURSELVES may not realize the small ways that we have offended our friends/family in the past. If you’ve truly forgiven, then let it go and instead concentrate on making the relationship stronger.
Now, you also say that you have a habit of bailing out on plans at the last minute. I don’t mean to chide, but this has the potential to hurt your relationships. If you do this often enough (regardless of the fact that she’s bailed out on you in the past as well)…it gives the other person the impression that you don’t enjoy their company. Moreover, when you say that you’re coming and then bail out at the last minute…it gives this sort of wishy-washy/unreliable impression. And that can make the other person think that they can’t “trust” or “count on you” in the future. Can’t have a relationship without trust and reciprocation.
I’m not saying that you’re untrustworthy or unreliable. And I KNOW she did the same to you. But since you acted like the **BIGGER **person and reached out to her in the first place…then set a positive example for her again. Can you at least try to spend a little bit of time at her party? Maybe you can drop by for a hour and then leave early. She’ll appreciate the fact that you showed up, if only for a while. She’ll see that your tried your best…and might be more motivated to try her best to attend your invitations in the future as well.
If you TRULY cannot attend this current invitation of hers…then how about a nice gesture to make up for your absence? One that shows you care. For example, you can SURPRISE her with a visit. Bring a small gift and then explain to her IN PERSON that your truly couldn’t make it to her party and that you were not deliberately avoiding her. When you make amends IN PERSON as opposed to over the phone/email/texting…it just makes it seem more sincere and meaningful to the other person. After all, actions speak louder than words.
Also, it’s hard to maintain a friendship only via texting/phone/email. Personal contact…spending time together in person makes the relationship stronger. If you frequently bail out on a person…they might think you don’t care and DO THE SAME TO you. Then you’ll both go back and forth in this petty act of revenge, n the relationship can break down.
So, either try to go to her party for a little bit…OR…make it up with a surprise visit (one that she can’t make excuses and get out of).