Okay, so what do i do?

[Sara516]

@MixedBeauty

Sara anyone that makes plans and then cancels would get very annoy’d. You havnt really explain’d what happend in the past so cant comment on that. But why exactly do you make plans if you dont go thru with them? Surely if you didnt want to then you shud say straight away you dont want to instead of planning then cancelling and longing things out. However considering you really want her in your life as it was *you *that contacted her even tho she did something to *you? *… Why dont you two jus go out for a coffee or something and explain what happend and that your sorry.
What happend in the past or do you care not to share?

Its hard to pinpoint exactly what it was, I guess it was just alot of small things that piled up. Like one example, she asked me to come to her school, and I went. It was over an hour awa and when i got there…she never picked up my phone calls once. It was things like that. We didnt have a big falling out, but just stopped talking.

The first time she asked me to hang out coupla months ago I guess i had those things in the back of my mind so i cancelled (and I had a minor cold and didnt want to be around her kid). Second time I cancelled because I was going out of the country on a short notice trip. This is the third time i’m cancelling…for personal reasons.

@fasaadi

I’d say you have good intentions, but in life, i**ts important that we be seen as people who keep our word. That means that you should learn to keep promises…
**
I usually dont give advice here, but I can relate to what you’re talking about because I used to be like you. A girl I was friends with in school was always inviting me to things, making plans to go out for coffee, hang out, etc…I would either cancel on her (for what I also thought were valid reasons) or show up incredibly late, something I now realize is very disrespectful. I can’t tell you how much I regret that, because we made a plan to hang out and before we were able to follow up on it, she was admitted into the hospital for a routine test and passed away. I can’t describe the guilt and sadness I felt upon her passing…she wasn’t even a best friend or anything, but she was just such a genuinely good person and it made me realize what a bad person I was. And by that time, it was too late…the last thing I was ever able to do for her was her ghusl before burial. If I had only known how short her life was meant to be, I would’ve not only taken advantage of every time she invited me, but initiated more get-togethers myself.

The only reason I’m telling you this story is God forbid, if you were put in my situation at that time, I don’t think saying “Oh well, she used to do the same thing to me several years ago” would make you feel better. Dont think of it as a thing between you and her, but something you need to work on to improve all of your relationships…forgiving (and truly meaning it, I don’t think you’ve truly forgiven her if you feel like bringing up the past) and learning to keep your word unless the situation is dire.

im so sorry about your friend

Thats a really different way to look at it…I would never consider myself the type of person to break promises or not keep my word, but the way you’re saying it…it is…

u know the thing is I used to be a very punctual person. I would ask others to hang out, i would always be on time. I dont feel that was a quality that was appreciated…it didnt benefit me in any way so I stopped caring that much at all. i felt like…if xyz can alwyas do this, then who cares if i do or dont do it. but now i realize thats not right to do either.