My kids don’t speak Urdu, it’s not that I chose not too. It’s just that they didn’t pick it up. My older one can speak some sentences and understand almost all but the younger one can hardly understand it. I did try to teach it a bit but it was easier for them to speak English I guess. I think most kids who are good at Urdu is because one parent, mom mostly is not very fluent in English and kids are forced to learn Urdu to communicate. Other moms just take the easy way out when in a hurry ( which is most of the time) and quickly give instructions in English.
That said, it’s not a religious duty to learn Urdu, if they did, I would be very happy, but if not, well I guess I wouldn’t be too mad about it.
my daughter 4 years Masha Allah can speak in both urdu and english language. she could only speak urdu till the age of 2.5 years i.e. till she started her preschool but after that she started speaking both languages.
Kids learn very fast I remember that she started her school in aug 2012 and by oct-nov 2012 she was speaking & understanding English language quite well.
That’s an awful generalization. Both my husband and I are fluent in English and Urdu and want our children to be as well. I would think one of the other reasons could be is to communicate with their grandparents…and elder relatives in Pakistan or here in the US as well.
I’m wasn’t fluent in Urdu before I got married. My father doesn’t even speak Urdu! Yet I’m making an effort of speaking to my children in Urdu every day because I know that they’ll learn English from TV, school and friends.
Why is it such a bad thing to teach your children an other language???
Where did I say that it’s bad to teach Urdu or another language but yes more kids who have parents who migrated from Pakistan speak Urdu then ABCD parents. Not all but most. It’s not a shameful thing to speak Urdu, in fact in western countries people whose kids don’t speak Urdu are looked down upon. I have seen this a lot people saying ha hai your kids don’t know Urdu? But it’s not an Islamic requirement to learn Urdu or your mother tongue sorry! If it happens very good, but not I am not going to be ashamed about it.
My daughter is 15 months and from the beginning I have tried my best to speak with her in Urdu. Unfortunately my husband and I both speak very broken Urdu. I can sort of carry on a convo in Urdu but I always end up adding English words in between to complete my sentences if I get stuck on a word or two. The point is, despite all this my husband and I are making an effort to speak with her in urdu in addition to English. She knows a ton of English words but she also says a few Urdu words so I’m happy. She’s as smart as they come MashAllah.
I don’t know a single person who doesn’t want her/his child to learn Urdu. Is this really a problem of intent? I think for various reasons parents may not emphasize it enough or encourage kids enough, assuming kids will pick up naturally, but actually intentionally keeping kids from learning Urdu? That’s bizarre.
Was that aimed at me, Rabia? If so I don’t have any problem with my future kids picking it up but I usually speak English with my family because it’s quicker and easier.. Am sure they will pick up the other languages regardless..
Last night I said something to my seven years old daughter in Urdu. She looked at me with blank expression for a second and then said “I have no idea what you just said but I am happy for you”.
^ no dear, the lady who i met in the park…i mentioned earlier. Her kids spoke early without issues, and they thinks it was because they werent introduced to urdu. The way she said sounded to me she didn’t introduce the lanuage on purpose. She had three kids and for the 30 minutes we were at the park…not one of them spoke a work of urdu…so urdu wasn’t introduced to any of them i am guessing.
I speak Urdu with my son and his dad, who isn’t desi, speaks to him in English. Up until a couple of months ago, he would only respond in Urdu. Then he had a sudden language growth spurt and he’s spending more time comprehending and listening to conversations and so for now, his primary language for communication is English. He hears me speak to his dad in English too which is a big thing obviously. I continue to speak to him in Urdu and encourage him to respond in the same, but I get it- he’s surrounded by the English language- from books to cartoons- it comes more naturally for him. He understands Urdu perfectly and that’s good enough for me. I know a few people who are not comfortable speaking Urdu themselves and so I can tell that their kids will likely not be taught it. If it’s not a priority for you, why would you make it a priority for your kids?
Some of us who don’t speak it that well realize that we are at a loss by not being able to speak our mother tongue properly and don’t want the same fate for our kids. I honestly wish I was fluent in Urdu.
I realize that my daughter may never speak Urdu at the level I do (which is already not that good) but if by making an effort to speak with her in Urdu, she ends up at least understanding it fully and knowing how to speak a bit (no matter how small) I feel that is still better than her not understanding/speaking at all.
Unfortunately with every generation, kids are starting to lose their mother tongue. We are one of the last generations that can actually keep our mother tongue going (by passing it on) because it will just fade more and more with our grandchildren, great-grandchildren etc.
My sil who lives in uk has 4 kids who only spoke english until very recently. Reason: when my sil’s eldest started school at the age of 4 in uk they felt child was quiet, shy and losing confidence. And they reached the conclusion that 2 languages were confusing her(she is s doctor and i dont know whether they consulyed a professional or not to reach that conclusion.) so they started speaking english only.
anyhoo now the oldest is 15 and all 4 speak urdu like a pathan. Nana kerti hai. Ammi khata hai etc. they r getting better and i think their parents dpeak urdu now.
I think I posted about this non-desi couple before, but they did the two-parent, two-language approach.
Mom speaks to kids exclusively in French
Dad speaks to kids exclusively in English
Parents speak to each other in Creole-French
Children learn Luxembourgish and German in school/outside.
As a result, the kids are fluent in all of the languages above. What this shows is that the effort to teach will pay off - but parents need to be consistent.
I love my kids’ PeshawarEE urdu specially my son when he goes on phone
“dada, aap kia ker rahi thi ho?”
My experience (and research also shows) that kids can learn multiple languages at a time without any problem. Yes teaching any language which is not spoken widely in the environment (outside home) need more efforts behalf of parents.
We as parents have equipped ours with basic urdu so that they do not feel outcast when socializing with Pakistanis here (or visiting Pakistan). To keep them going in both languages, I mostly communicate with them in English and begum in Urdu. We talk to each other in Englrdu.
