Re: NIKHA PROCEDURES
Did you set the mehr too high or too low? Also... as a bride, can you reject mehr? Meaning that I will not demand it? Or is it something that the bride has to have and is part of the Nikah?
I had set it twice the amount of what the Imam said was the standard.
haq meher is your right. you have to have it. i mean if you want you can have a low amount and you can opt to have it paid later on, not at the time of nikkah. it's part of the nikkah. there is space on the nikkah nama for it :p
haq meher is any amount that is feasible to be paid.
Well, this is what the imam said: There are 2 kinds (I can't remember the terms). One is where you pay it before you two consummate the marriage and the other one is deferred that you can pay anytime during your lifetime (obviously pay it as ASAP because you can die any time). The woman doesn't have to take it. She can opt to "forgive" it and that's what Mrs. Shikra did. That was the first thing I did (offer her the haq mehar) when I spoke to her after we arrived back at the hotel.
Again, haq mehar is kind of security that if you divorce your wife, it's to help her live for some time. If you know you are not gonna divorce (love marriage etc) then there's really no point in setting it too high or too low. Some people set it too high to show off (the guys side) and sometimes the bride's side ask the dude to set it high and then they look for ways to get divorced so that they can get that money.
It is strictly between the husband and the wife. My dad was trying to HELP me and point me to the right direction by giving me ideas how high to set it but the Imam asked him to be quiet as it's entirely up to me. There is no right or wrong amount. If the guy wants (and the girl - not her family - is okay with that amount), it could be $5 or $5M.