Its been centuries since I smoked.
Dude I always tell the girls(who are close to me) that I understand IF they miss their Ex. (I know how much they are going to miss monk-luv once monk is gone )
I have no problem with that. See who ever treated me right would have spot in my heart for ever.
The thing I don’t like is LIE DECEPTION STORIES and girls thinking they would be able to manipulate us because were are quiet or kind.
Reason I was puting up this argumant is that I have seen girls doing it even in here. And or pink cult have to be like “u go girl”
thing is the good girls or the wiser one hold back at that point.
I think we can ague about it for whole day but conclusion is going to be.
1-girls are more sensitive to luv.
2-guy some what miss girls too. BUT guys put boundaries when starting new relations.
3-Girls Who are *religious OR non paki* do the same--set boundaries.
4-wanna be chicks don't know where to stop acting on there instinct and where to respect relation.
5-western/chines/black women would respect OR at least would know what respect of a relation means.
Our Siestas are going to pick on ppl with priciples calling them backwards... and sistas are going to keep shut when they are discussing their endless love with non pakis women!!!
Cuz only a fellow sista can understand that twist-ness.
PlayStation Where is RV?
Wrong.
It's human psychology and quite natural, even if you don't have an ex you'd miss your parents or those who loved you endlessly.
^ Wrong again. the issue raised in this thread (whcih is a non-issue really) has nothing to do with the girls’ past relationships or how desi women do not take “love” seriously or how being a “wannabe” makes them disrespect their relation
its simple human behaviour. Men may not feel this way but women, being naturally more emotional, may feel that way at times of fighting…Maybe the men here can shed some more light.
^ Wrong again. it has nothing to do with past relationships or how desi women do not take "love" seriously but rather simple human behaviour. Men may not feel this way but women, being naturally more emotional, may feel that way. Just because ou think something doesn't mean it will ever happen.
Every relationship has ups and downs but women, (or men) who engage in this type of thoughts, are smart enough to realize that married life with someone else wouldnt be free of fighting or arguments or disagreements.
Why do we start thinking like this? the past becomes idealized. That we could have done anything, that we had so muc potential. We start associating our ex, or that rishta or whoever, with our past.
During times of emotional stress (i.e., a fight or argument) we get all sorts of stupid thoughts.
it's quite natural. :) happens to more or less everyone. Even if there was no ex in the picture, the moment one gets scolded by their in laws or your husband...missing mum dad part comes hitting on them ... :D
in short, its human nature.
one's never happy with what they have
any thing/person only redeems its value when lost
a guy can be the best person in a relationship, a total best friend..but as a spouse, its all down to the typical moodswings, egos , issues and quarrels
:)
cheer up...the guilt would take some time to go away and it would Inshallah. Everything happens for better. You wouldn't probably have been as happy with your ex as you are now and would be in future InshAllah :)
it's quite normal if you start wishing you werent there where you are now IF the hubby was a bad guy, if he's ok and these rather weird thoughts keep popping into yr head ALL the time then the probs with you. as for being cursed bla bla, tht's nto quite an issue if you really regret what u have done in the past. but as i said if the dude you're married to is fine and u experience this often then you're unfaithful and not loyal to your husband and you deserve all the anguish or so i think
Ok its really comforting to hear that its normal. I thought I am just some weird wife. Even though like I clearly mentioned, my husband is the best guy ever. He loves me so much. I have no issues with him at all. Issues are all mine. lol.. So for the guys who blame girls for everything. I am one that admits, I create troubles. But the thought of ex is just so torturing. I personally think its wrong to think about ex or anyone else, hence the thread.
Thanks. I agree with all the solutions. I'll definitely try to work on blocking such thoughts in the future. I even wanted to say sorry to my ex before getting married to my husband but i think that's too much .. lol
what matters in life is that you regret some wrong -doing truly…so then repent with all your heart and ask for Allah alAzim’s forgiveness, do istighfar and Insha’Allah everything’s gonna be fine:bb:
Its normal.
Its so f-ing normal that it scares me.
A girl once told me she missed me so much when she had a miscarriage(with her hubby--who was giving her problems at that time.)
My dude's Ex calls him and say "I creid my eye balls out on my wedding night thinking about you--while ...u know..."
Now If my wife miss some one else I think It would be only fair-- If I keep my kool with it?
As paki we are one F-ed up society. Manly because of girls.
Nobody is anyone's first anymore.
I think you simply feel guilty about rejecting your ex and wonder if life would have been different had you married him.
It might have been different but not necessarily for the better.
Your guilt will take time to go away but you have to work on something:
Appreciating your husband for who and what he really is. Stop yourself from comparing the two men otherwise you will screw up your current relationship also.
Seems like you have created an emotional loop (cry, feel guilty/cursed/bad for hurting others, ex's stories etc.) and "enjoying" it.
Solution is simple yet not easy since we are talking about emotions here. you just need to do some re-wiring work on your brain. :)
You need awareness (as/when you start entering the loop) and a lot of will power (to keep yourself out of the loop).
Try not to argue when you are wrong .......... if you do, make sure you don't enter that loop and be gratefull for all the positives in your husband ......... and if all this doesn't work and you do enter the loop, try to make it as short as possible every time it happens and get yourself distracted and busy in some interesting activity ASAP.
Great analysis. However, it is difficult for people to understand the "enjoyment" concept.
