My Friend Hates Me

Lifestyle Relationships
21

Re: My Friend Hates Me

Maybe he/she is embarrassed and needs time to open up to you.
If you truly are a friend and want that person in ur life, keep the lines of commnication open, be receptive and friendly when they speak to you etc...

22

big sister/mother… same difference :slight_smile:

23

Re: My Friend Hates Me

I know, I was just rubbing it in :D

24

Re: My Friend Hates Me

LOL! i know...

my friends fear me.... they reckon im like their conscience that follows them everywhere... lol, imagine that.

25

Hang around in the shadows and wait for friend to see the light?

*Nope, that's not practical. How long will you be waiting for her to see the light? Since you can't change people, it's best not wait around for it. You have a family, you have things to do. "Waiting" is going to not only going to stress you out, it'll hinder your own progress as well. *

Give up and move on? There are other friends in the world.....

Easier said than done, but dwelling on any matter for too long is not healthy. So, yeah, move on. Maintain a positive attitude toward her but don't confine yourself to just one person for company. Surround yourself with other friends as well.

While away the hours thinking of friend's misery and feel guilty about it?

Not at all! ** You did more than your part in helping her out. You were against the plan from the get-go and were honest with her. Honesty is important in friendship. When she persisted in her ideas......you cared enough to warn her to be careful. These are things a friend does. So if her decisions flopped, it's her responsibility to accept her mistakes. She's a big girl....you can't be held accountable for her failures. There's no reason to feel guilty her.**

I think it's human nature to want to feel "validated" in our decisions and opinions all the time by our family and friends. When we're offended or hurt....we usually vent to the people closest to us hoping that they'll justify our feelings. Although, justification, soothing as it might be, can be damaging. It's possible that your friend's pride/ego is wounded because she turned out WRONG about her venture and is annoyed that you were right.

Would she be more "friendlY' towards you if you had actively encouraged her in this venture? I don't think so, Muzna. Hypothetically speaking, if you had encouraged and supported her: Then......when the venture failed..........she could have blamed YOU for not warning her about it in the first place. Almost seems like a lose-lose situation regardless of what your response would have been. I hope she's not thinking that you put "nazar" on her plan cuz some people may think in that defensive manner as well.

Here's what I suggest. If she's not speaking to you face-to face.....try calling or e-mailing. And tell her that you're sorry if you've said anything to offend her......that you believe you both have an open and honest friendship.....and that your opinions reflect your genuine concern for her. Tell her that you will be there for her if she needs you. Leave it at that and then give her space. That's all you can do.

26

Re: My Friend Hates Me

he/she is not a friend. I'm sorry if this offends you.

I made a choice that my friends didn't agree with. In fact, one of my best friends stopped talking to me for a period of 3 months. When things crashed and burned, she was right there with me. She never said, I told you so. Instead, she held my hand when I cried and she came to visit me everyday.

I guess it comes down to your personalities, and how much you truly value each other.

27

^ As Mehnaz is suggesting, be there for your friend.

I know that's hard to do when it appears that she's giving you the cold shoulder. And I know that when you continuously put yourself in the face of someone who wants a break from you, it can get annoying.

So, as Mehnaz said, don't tell her, "I said you so." Just tell her nicely that your opinions were out of genuine concern. Ask her if there's anything you can do to help her. Encourage her to join you in an activity that can help take her mind off the crash and burned venture. And in spite of your offers for help.....if she continues to brush you off......just tell her that "I understand if you need some space. I just want you to know that I'm here for you if and whenever you need me." And just give her room.

28

you are not in any immediate danger or under any stress. So you are free to make any move. How ever what ever move you make, please update us.
That will very much describe the person you are.

29

Re: My Friend Hates Me

hmmm i think friend thinks u r resposible for her bad n it happened coz of ur ill-wishes.may b she thinks this is wat u wanted in 1st place n now will be happy on her failed plan n ur far sightedness
i think u hav lost him/her
either go n talk directly n ask reasons for avoidance or just leave it as is n move on.

30

Re: My Friend Hates Me

Hey Munza, you're his friend. Its not your job to judge your frnd and/or wonder why he didn't come to you or why he is avoiding you or any such thing. Your job is to be there when he/she needs you and not worry about why or why not rite now. I know its easier said than done but thats how it should be.

31

Re: My Friend Hates Me

hawa mein teer maring by saying

never tell a gurl when she likes a guy (or a similar senerio) tht the guy is rong!!!

a girl will never listen & everything will come on ur head besides whenever a guys matter is involved n u on the gurls side even if shes ur bestfrnd watch ur words n be diplomatic...i duno y i have a feeling something similar happened..!! if im rong my experience is proved kachra (sorri in tht case)

32

Re: My Friend Hates Me

^ i think ur guess is rite. its mine too
i hav a family friend that just got engaged now i hav strong gut feeling abt it not being the rite choice but me n hubby decided to stay out n keep quite since we know they might not listen to my guts or experience n they might think hum un k liay khush nahi hovay. it will just affect the relations with them.

33

meine apni school life ke incidents se bohot sikha hai n apne sahi kia..one thing i have realised with time ppl dunt change or grow up..its just tht wid time situations become more complicated n how they react has to change but mentally we all r the same...high school games never ends!!

34

that’s just ewwwww.
but yeah, you are probably right.

it’s funny…sometimes we don’t realize that even our whims and fancies affect the lives of those that care for us deeply.

Are you a coup master?
35

i agree. what if the friend is embarrassed? that's definitely possible.

and Muzna, do you think it's possible that the friend is upset with you for "disengaging"?

36

I agree that the embarassment is possible......but there shouldn't be such feelings amongst friends.

And yes, friend could be upset for disengaging but shouldn't friend just say that to me?

Live Updates of Azadi March
37

Re: My Friend Hates Me

^it's not easy for everyone to do something like that. i know because i'm the same way. if a friend of mine does or says something i don't like, i usually don't say anything. it bothers me inside but i don't confront them. it's certainly not a great habit but that's just how some people are.

38

Re: My Friend Hates Me

hmmm....perhaps you are right.

but friend is so casual about the crash and burn with others while ignoring my efforts at re-engaging.......so perhaps friend doesn't feel that I was there when friend needed it.

it's okay. I'm learning lots about both myself and friend as a result of this whole escapade.

Live Updates of Azadi March
39

Re: My Friend Hates Me

Does your friend's name start with a P?

Live Updates of Azadi March
40

Re: My Friend Hates Me

why do you ask?