Quoting you directly, you say these dariwala are “probably much better then you”. Thats a major assumption, and a personal attack, and you are jumping into your comfort zone, dariwala good, and others bad. Wake and smell the coffee, the world is grey. Your Salafi Ibn Taymiya quoting brother in Islam can be just as nasty as anyone else.
In the example given, this particular guy seems to have patronised the girl. I believe that compatibilty is the most important thing in a succesful marriage. So if you are uber mullah, then marry a uber mullani. I worked as a divorce lawyer for a few years, so seen a lot of relationship breakdown.