Re: Marry some one who loves U OR some one who U love?
I've heard the quote, "Marry the person who loves YOU and not the person that you love" many times before.
And I have a problem with this quotation. First of all, like many other quotations, it is too idealistic. SECONDLY.............according to this quotation.........EVERYONE should marry the person that LOVES THEM. And there's a flaw in this rule.
Let's say that YOU marry the person that LOVES YOU.......(even though you don't feel the same way about them). Then according to the above rule..........shouldn't the person who LOVES YOU..........marry the one who loves them????????????
I know it sounds confusing. According to the quotation, you should marry a guy who loves YOU even if you don't love him. But at the same time......HE......should be marrying the person who loves HIM...............and if you don't love him.........HE shouldn't be with you.
And when you point this argument out to people.........they say things like:
"Oh....but the love will develop in your heart after marriage once you start living together." OR "You will learn to love the other person." OR........"Love will NATURALLY develop for the person who loves you."
There are situations where mutual love and attraction fail develop after marriage no matter how much one spouse might love the other. The marriage turns out to be a one-sided affair. It can happen and in some cases it has happened.
******** Therefore, in my opinion, I think it's best to marry the person who LOVES YOU and whom YOU ALSO love. And I understand that in an arranged marriage......such feelings may not develop right away. So, in this situation you should marry the one who is attracted to you and whom YOU are ALSO attracted to as well.........AND........marry the one who respects you and whom YOU ALSO respect as well.
Basically.........it should be MUTUAL! It shouldn't be one or the other. It shouldn't be a one sided affair where only one party is wholeheartedly reciprocating.
In a marriage......some things are SOO BASIC....that they shouldn't be settled for. For example, you shouldn't settle for someone you're not attracted to......or that you don't respect.....or that you're not heart is not into at all........just on the basis that the other person loves you. Later on, such a faulty equation has the potential to create a huge mess if mutual feelings don't develop.