sigh here goes yet another! :(
First of all Sherry baba... if thats what u have to say, then may I please be allowed to question ur signature at the bottom? What does that personifies? No offence.
Dear Watcher... for how long has ur friend been knowing this girl? Do they know each other completely? Have they met? Khair... as a friend ask him to consider weighing his cons and pros. Ask him the reasons why he's doing this? Tell his what backup plans has he considered when they run away, get married, what then? Are they going to live in a far far far away land away from all their parents and relatives? Do they think that perhaps if they lose their families now, just cuz they're young and can handle themselves fro the moment, does that really covers everything else for the future as well. Occassions will arise where they will certainly be in desparate need of their relatives, and their support. Suppose they split up after an yr or so, is there anywhere to turn to then? If perhaps they separate and the whole thing doesn't works out, and it was all just a mere spur of the moment, do they think their families will accept them back with open hearts? Wud it be worth to recieve all the frowns and the wrath of others that've raised them all their lives? Do they think they'll be strong enuf to handle all that after...if things do go wrong? Are they compeletly ready to take all the opposition from their relatives? And as u've mentioned the father has made certain threats, is ur freind ready to really live thru them if they do happen? Have they really considered that its worth all this trouble i.e. going for each other at the expense of losing so much? Have they really been together long enuf to actually know the downfalls and all other important aspects which serve as solid foundations for a married life? Are they 100% certain of each other's abilities and capacities? How much is there yet to learn about each other? Do they both think that they'll be keeping the commitment to each other thru out? Really have they considered all of the above and yet much much more? If yes, then give ur friend a big pat on the back and support him. If not... then tell him to wait perhaps more, and to think of a way how he'll first compensate for the loss that his fiancée will be suffering. Tell him to first have a good explaination for her, if he's about to go after this other girl that he's so sure of right now. And what made him agree to his parents at that time when later on he was going to get involved in this other relation?
Okay this is off topic, but it really bothers me, when two ppl commit theirselves to each other, and keep going on, untill one day either one of them realizes that Oh guess what! We're not suited for each other! Why didn't they think of that right in the start, where they had some thing at the back of their mind or heart, that there will be someone else. Its like has the world totally forgotten words such as commitment and being persistent I come across so many ppl that wud tell u that are divorced or their engagements were called off. Its so depressing sometimes. Anyway...back to the topic...
Ask ur friend to reconsider everything and to wait perhaps a few more months before jumping off the cliff! For if he takes off now, ask him what will he be regretting ... and how will he be dealing with that? I know it'll be kind of hard to get him to agree or abide by any or the sane rules, however, atleast it'll be worth the effort as a loyal friend :) And ask him that perhaps he might be living in a self delusion world, and its not love at all. What happens if one day he wakes up from it all crumbles down to bits and pieces? How will he put it back again? And tell him not so say No it won't happen. For if this can happen, anything can happen right? :) The chances of all absurd odds taking place are many these days. So tell him to really give it a thot. If he's got it all figure out then well give him a big contrats...and wish him good luck.
However if nothing seems to be working and they've both got their minds made, hearts set. Then suggest him the least he can do is to hold on firmly to his ground. And have a proper wedding, and not to give in untill the parents agree. That way it might eliminated some degrees of over all complexities and save some of their reputation. I mean if u gotta do it, then don't do it as cowards wud. Why run away now, whats the fear? If they're running away just cuz no one is agreeing to their decision, what are the chances of coping with other problems in life that may arise in a sane way? Are they going to run away there as well? One can't just play hide and seek all life long. I mean c'mon whats the point, when one plays in fear? really I mean?
Ok, hope no offence was taken by what I've written here Watcher. Please don't! Just some realistic thots that came to mind, might sound bitter, but if they go thru this now, and can cope with it, then thats all good. :)
Adios!
DB:)
[This message has been edited by Daysee Behna (edited November 18, 2000).]
