Re: Is marriage by FATE?
i again want answers to this?? some convincing statements plz...
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
what do you want to be convinced about?
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
Neha I read a couple of your threads and I could relate to almost everything you wrote. My situation was very similar to yours, I kept compromising at every step throughout the four years of my engagement. I did everything possible and took all the crap my fiance and his family gave me. I was in a loveless engagement for a couple of years (it was actually a LOVE MARRIAGE), my fiance kept giving me hell and I was patient thinking that everything will be fine once we are married. But I was wrong, my wedding got called off just a few days before it was due to happen, to be exact - 11 days. My in laws made a lame excuse and very politely backed off.
My mistake was that I wasn't ready to accept that he's not perfect anymore neither is his family, I knew there was a possibility of it ending this way but never thought it would. . It's been a while now and I can't stop thanking Allah from saving me from this marriage. My fiance says it's not over yet and we'll get married, but i will NEVER go back. I have now realized how much painful my relationship had become. I was probably not destined to be with him and this was Allah's way of helping me out.......
I made the mistake of not performing istakhara but you should ask someone to do it for you because you have time neha. And pray to Allah for the best...I was wrong to keep convincing myself that i'm not being fooled by him
I'm sure you have dozens of questions about my story but I thought I should share my experience with you....remember Allah always guides us to whats best for us, we are the ones who lead ourselves astray sometimes......I don't mean to scare you sweety but this is the time to work things out!! In short, yes I believe Allah writes our destiny, and marriage is definitely by fate
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
You don't seem too happy, Neha. And I understand that there are two sides to a story and you have to compromise and let some things slide in a relationship. But if you are mostly miserable with this guy, if he frequently and consistently disrespects you and your family, if he's an overall negative person and being with him is draining you, then talk to your parents about it. While people here can give you advice.....I think you'll feel more at ease when you talk to people who are actually involved with this rishta (your parents). That can help you decide what you want to do.
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
the truth!!
thanx alot for posting all this…i am really happy for u that u were saved 
…
no itz not that…yeah am upset over somethings but i want answer to this one 
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
Here’s what I read about predestination on Wikipedia not too long ago:
“Qadar is one of the aspects of aqidah. Some Muslims believe that the divine destiny is when God wrote down in the Preserved Tablet (“al-Lauḥ al-Maḥfūẓ”) all that has happened and will happen, which will come to pass as written*citation needed*].
According to this belief, a person’s action is not caused by what is written in the Preserved Tablet but, rather, the action is written in the Preserved Tablet because God already knows all occurrences without the restrictions of time[3]](Predestination in Islam - Wikipedia).
Another perspective asserts that God is omniscient and therefore has foreknowledge of all possible futures. With divine power, God then also deems which futures will be allowed, and man’s choice is between those possibilities approved by God.”
^I like the second perspective. It’s like saying that various options are available to us…and we have free will in choosing those options…but Allah already knows the outcome of choosing a certain option or taking a certain path. It’s like having the choice to open a door but knowledge of what is behind that door is already known. If I had to connect it to marriage, then I guess you can say that YOU have free will in deciding whether you want to marry this guy who is causing you so much grief…or deciding to end the rishta. The outcome of the path you take is already known to Allah."
Look, nobody (hopefully not your parents) is forcing you to marry this guy. I don’t think that the intricacies of every matter in Islam have been revealed to us. There are various schools of thought. And one might wonder forever why a certain event happened or didn’t happen in their life. And you may not arrive at one concrete answer. Instead of wondering which matters are a part of kismat/fate and which aren’t…use the time more constructively. If something is in your control and you can eliminate it…then do it.
We know that our time of death is predetermined by Allah…but there’s also a hadith that says maintaining ties with kin prolongs your life. It’s said that dua can change kismat and good deeds can avert calamities. Even with dua…one has to take action.
*******If you’re waiting for ONE SOLID answer, Neha…you may not find it. Instead you might get a variety of answers. And i think that it’s almost pointless to look for a “solid answer” when you can actually try to get yourself out of something. Allah has given us aqal and the ability to choose (to an extent).
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
^I wanted to marry a poor person and made lots of duas but they weren't accepted. Now when I think about it I thank God that He didn't listen to my prayers.
So no....in this matter duas don't get accepted which is a blessing.
did i really say that last year?
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
Allah decides everything in the end...
Victory and defeat, love and hate, gain and loss, wisdom and stupidity all are in the hands of the Allmighty no matter how great we may try... we are but human.
Fate is inexorable...
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
^I dunno. I've read that there's one view that everything is controlled by Allah and in that case....there's no free will involved. And this view is considered an extreme one, whereas most Sunnis believe that while there is predestination, Allah has still given us free will.
This life is a test. And it's a test in the sense that we have to show patience when things (beyond our control) such as natural disasters/death, etc happen. And it's ALSO a test in the sense that Allah has given us freedom of choice (to an extent) and we're tested on how we use that freedom and which path we choose for ourselves.
If EVERYTHING was controlled....leaving us no free will....then life wouldn't be much of a test.
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
If EVERYTHING was controlled....leaving us no free will....then life wouldn't be much of a test.
Exactly!
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
Agreed but ultimately man cannot avoid his fate… Believe me there will be times many of them in your life where you will be wishing you could have altered something but alas that was not to be… just like those important school tests… if you think about it… it’s not the questions that were difficuilt but the answers. :cobra:
Your right there my friend but life is a test, and like it or not the result is variable.
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
Fate is of two types.One is Taqdeer-e-Mubarram and the other is Taqdeer-e-Muallaq.The fixed period of life on earth and the amount of food and substance that a person would receive throughout that life, has been pre-ordained by Allah (SWT).These two things are fixed and there can be no change, it is final. This is Taqdeer-e-Mubarram. Allah (SWT) has written another type of Fate or Destiny where, if a Man performs virtuous deeds and righteous acts, then by His grace, man would receive ample rewards, though the span of his life on earth would remain unchanged. In that short period of life a virtuous Man can do many good deeds as part of his Faith (Deen). But if he does not do this, and indulges in sin, vice and mischief, though his span of life would remain unchanged, he would be deprived of Allah (SWT) Grace and Blessing. This known as Taqdeer-e-Muallaq. Allah (SWT) has bequeathed many powers to Man in certain matters, but in others he has made him powerless. Among the powers that Man has received, is the power of reasoning, the rational faculty of mind. While Man has been given the faculty of reason, animals have been given the faculty of instinct. By using the power of reasoning, Man can think about his future and the Hereafter. If he has total faith in Allah (SWT) and submits himself to His Will, then reason will guide him to the Right Path. Therefore Man should use his power of reason to recognize his Creator. But Ulema-e-Keram has cautioned that the issue of Fate is a very delicate matter and we should try to comprehend only its main principles while its mysteries and in-depth knowledge are beyond our capacity. However, the Holy Prophet (SAWS) once declared that prayer and supplication can change Mans Destiny. Therefore, Man should pray to Allah (SWT) to guide him towards right thinking and put him on the Right Path...........is tarah to chor chori kar ke bole ke ALLAH ne meri kismat mein likha tha is liye mene chori ki but ALLAH gave us two ways good & bad, then its upto us what we choose ......right path or wrong one........... & for this purpose ALLAH gave us an option of istikhara too..........
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
^ Thanks for such a comprehensive answer 
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
i believe that dua's can change kismat .. but allah gives us two ways you have to choose where you want to go....
i know ur situation i have read ur several posts, i often feel same way what u feel lekin
sab kuch hamesha ek jesa nahi rehta neha...hm mai se koi bhi behter guide nhi ker sakta bz you know better what YOU WANT
I'll remember u in my prayers
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
As with everything in life, it is written. But Allah says we have to work for things, it wont just be given in front of us.
We have to make things happen... Allah just knows the end result whereas we dont.
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
As with everything in life, it is written. But Allah says we have to work for things, it wont just be given in front of us. We have to make things happen... Allah just knows the end result whereas we dont.
absolutely right
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
u cannot predict accurately , fate have always something you can not imagine about
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
5amra has give a very beautiful and detailed answer.
Duaa's from pure heart do have power of changing one's qismat. Remember He says that He is closer to you more than ur shah-rug (jugular vein). I believe He looks at your efforts and most of all at your neeyat and heart. Keep your neeyat clean and have faith in Him. As my mom says, when you leave things on Him, He does the best for you.
If I am not wrong then there are three things, the day n place where you will die, your Rizq in this world and Aulaad (kids) these three are fixed and pre-written for you. You cannot change them whatever you do. In rest of the things you can make your own choice.
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
So it's like sit back and relax just take everything as it happens to u or do u think making duaa actually asked with a sincerty will make any change's to the naseeb or kismat whatever it's called?
Re: Is marriage by FATE?
^ Do duaa, make ur best efforts, but have faith in Him that whatever He will chose for you ll be the best.