is it necessary to LOVE the person your going to marry?

[Reha]

Re: is it necessary to LOVE the person your going to marry?

Compatibility, similar interests, backgrounds, family values, education, manners etc to name a few.

[aramis]

Re: is it necessary to LOVE the person your going to marry?

Of course respect will be a big factor in keeping marriages intact....if not the only one.....so that u take care of each other. THEN when u live together, love that evolves is much stronger and stable and lasting than the love of love-marriage. of course this life is not perfect. both marriage arrangements can be successfull or fail. thats where the TEST is.

[Gr8Heera]

Re: is it necessary to LOVE the person your going to marry?

@nadz123

IN OUR marriages, esp arranged, we dont need to love the partner we are about to marry, so what qualties do we need to look for…bearing in mind we wont know then well enough either way before marriage.

Zaroori naheen kay love ki zaroorat na ho arranged marriage main. Love to her jagah zaroori hai. Love hona achchi baat hai balkay bohat hi achchi baat hai. Laikin yak tarfa love aur doosri side say dushmani ya budtamizi bilkul achcha naheen.

Love agar mill jaay I mean suchcha love khuwah arranged ho kay love to phir to kia kahnay. Both pary suchchay love main giraftaar hon to phir to us jori ka jawab naheen.

Laikin aksar yaktarfa love hota hai do tarfa naheen. Agar do tarfa ho bhi to zaroori naheen kay dono side say suchcha pyar ho.

Suchcha pyar to khush naseebo ko milta hai. Yani aisi larki “NASEEBO LAAL” kah laay gi. lol

1. Jis baat ya cheez ko aap say ziada ahmiaat detay hain. In other words wo Jismani khoosiaat jis ko aap sub say ziada ahmiaat detay hain. (color, eye, qud, jisaamat waghaira waghaira).

2. Taleem duniawi aur agar aap deeni ko ahmiaat detay hain to. Warna clash ho ga bahtar hoga kay apnay type ka dhoondhay jaisay aap agar bayparda daar hain aur ainda bhi parda karnay ka koi irada na ho to kisi mazhabi ko hargiz choose na karain. Is liaay kay ussay bayghairtiaan pasand naheen ain gi wo mana karay ga aap sunain gay naheen to jhagra ho ga. Us ka mana karna bhi aap ko zulm lagay gay.

I personaly don’t like kay pehlay to apnay say opposite tarha kay person say shadi kar lo aur baad main jhagro. Pehlay hi kioon na apnay type kay logon say shadi karain. Koi masla naheen ho ga.

Jin larkion ko apnay type ka koi milta naheen aur majboori main opposite type kay person say shadi kar leteen hai wo bhi ghalat hai.

Ub main shadi kar loon aik tight kapray ya baray galay ya kundhay khulay kapray pehannay wali say aur phir kahoon kay burqa pahnon aur scarf pehnon to yay ghalat ho ga. Halankay main to us kay liaay aur apnay liaay donon kay liaay sahi aur achchi baat kahoon ga par ussay to lagay ga kitna bara zulm kar dia aur blah blah blah. Ussay samajh hi naheen aay ga kay achcha kaam kaha hai.

3. Apnay type ka ho. Agar exactly naheen to kisi hud tuk.

4. Khandaan aur unkay tor tareeqay.

@redvelvet

The LOVE does help, doesn’t it? It can help make the flaws more bearable. It can help develop more tolerance and affection. And it adds a sort of spark to the marriage.

**Qualities to look for: **religion, education, family life, living arrangement (possible), compatible expectations, interests, dispositions (manners)…to name a few.

Yeah love does help agar do tarfa aur suchchi mohabbat ho to. Haqeeqatun aisa shaaz o nadir hi hota hai.

@nadz123

what do you mean not again

shut it…

dont answer then. and i wish i could use my smileys, id be rolling my eyes right now.

damn these so-called moderators

LOL

@nadz123

well if saras a good mod..the god forbid if i ever come across a bad one…

ha ha ha ha.

She is not actually good but the best moderator lol.

@NightVision

In arrange maarriage, love is out of question, cuz, if its love then it can’t be arranged, therefore, if its arrange why you even bother for qualities. Once you have given the free hand to decide for the most important decision of your life then let them look for the qualities…and be responsible of their decision.

In Arrange marriage there could Love too.

Buchchon jaisi baat kahi hai Last line.

@redvelvet

^ Koi pabandi hai? Gupshup pay koi bhi jab chahay thread khol sakta hai

Agree aur jis tarha bhi khol sakta hai.

@aramis09

love cannot be in arranged marriage. but in arranged marriage there shd be “like” “respect” and “trust” …being religious is a huge plus.

love will come in …20 years or soooo!!!

You are so very wrong. It all depends on a person. Love might be in arranged marriage.

Respect aur trust to her jagah honi chahyay. Love main bhi aur arrange main bhi.

Again you are very wrong kay 20 years or soooo main love ho sakta hai. Daikhay baghair shadi say pehlay bhi ho sakta hai.

@Jaanwar

^ bravo! so is it safe to assume that all those couples who had an arranged marriage are living together out of respect?

LOL

@aramis09

Of course respect will be a big factor in keeping marriages intact…if not the only one…so that u take care of each other. THEN when u live together, love that evolves is much stronger and stable and lasting than the love of love-marriage. of course this life is not perfect. both marriage arrangements can be successfull or fail. thats where the TEST is.

Zabardast.

[aramis]

Re: is it necessary to LOVE the person your going to marry?

love cannot be in arranged marriage.

what i meant was in the begining there cannot be love...when the marriage is being arranged by parents...
you can fall in love with your intended from then on of course its natural.....

[Jaanwar]

Re: is it necessary to LOVE the person your going to marry?

^ hence my post.

[nadz123]

Re: is it necessary to LOVE the person your going to marry?

GH8HEERA isnt it possible to say this all in english,,your posts keep me headaches, it takes ages for me to read the urdu you have written in english...

[RupayHalwa]

Re: is it necessary to LOVE the person your going to marry?

IN OUR marriages, esp arranged, we dont need to love the partner we are about to marry, so what qualties do we need to look for...bearing in mind we wont know then well enough either way before marriage.

Perhaps you should ask your mother, she was in the same boat at one time...

[Gr8Heera]

Re: is it necessary to LOVE the person your going to marry?

GH8HEERA isnt it possible to say this all in english,,your posts keep me headaches, it takes ages for me to read the urdu you have written in english...

LOL yeah I can understand your problem. I don't know that much english.