Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
AfroSheen
Lol are we so short of potential partners in the world that we create unneccesary problems for ourselves...just find someone whos the same faith then you dont have to prepare yourself to get hurt...
Phoenix51
No never been in love...love takes time...thats why i have no sympathy for people whi find themselves in this situation...you can avoid it in the first place...
Impulse
And i agree with Asif2000 only a girl would come out with something that pathetic...if a boy said it he would have got a headbutt...
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
Phoenix51
No never been in love...love takes time...thats why i have no sympathy for people whi find themselves in this situation...you can avoid it in the first place...
^
So if you've never been in love...are you qualified to judge whether or not it is possible to control who one falls in love with?
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
Phoenix51...
On something like this yeah...its a simple concept...avoid a situation and then you dont have a siituation where you fall in love...
Iv never loved a girl but iv had feelings for girls...and obviously these feelings were after a while...i never looked at a girl and said i love her having looked at her...its a simple shes fit and im gonna chat to her...You dont fall in love at first sight do ypu so of course its a situation you can avoid...
Can you honestly defend 'You cant help who you fall in love with'?
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
Ok Naughty By Nature:
Let's say a guy and a girl meet through work...are thrown in one another's company through necessity - don't know each other's religions cos they've never cared to ask or maybe they do know even)...find that they are extremely compatible personality wise and there is an attraction between them...before you know it they're head over heels and so on and so forth
Call me a dreamer or an optimist...but I do believe in true love and I do believe that sometimes it can be found in the most unlikley places - even in a person of a different faith
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
Im just saying that 9/10 people have control over who they see and who they choose to devlop relations with...falling in love doesnt happen overnight...it requires effort...
In your circumstance it could happen and all id say is not to pursue it...if it is someone you do have strong feelings for...its gone be that much worse when it doesnt work out...
To justify a 2yr relationship...and to then whine about how much she loved him doesnt get any empathy from me...
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
Agreed Afridi, this may well be the case for many people
But in a day and age where it is often the case that we are exposed to larger numbers of people in general, and particularly those of different backgrounds to ourselves; do you not think it is possible for people to fall in love before they've married?
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
Thing is in life there is more to it than just love...to be in love with someone doesnt ensure that your life with them are going to be good...it is easy for me to say this granted...i make a point to detach myself so i dont get emotionally attached...love is not a rational thing i understand so what you should do is not neccesarily what you end up doing...
The best thing to do is to avoid it...and as for the will i look back and think what if...we can lookl back at this for everything we do in life...life is all abouit choices right and wrong that we make in life..i prefer not to dwell on the choices i make or deal with the past...i learn and i move on...
Re: Interfaith Relationships…when will these stupid people learn…
Im assuming we are talking bout teenagers here
Knowing not what life is all bout and setting up upon adventures they arent capable of yet tackling ends with such results.
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
Well NBN, if love is not rational...then I think it would be difficult to deal with it rationally ie. avoiding it
I agree that loving someone is no guarantee that life with them will be good - but are there any such guarantees in life? What does ensure that life with someone will be good?
Re: not dwelling on past choices and just learning and moving on...I do understand your perspective
But what if you've made a choice in the past and that choice has taught you that perhaps sometimes it's good to follow your heart?
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
Then that is upto you but understand that people arent sympathetic when you make an irrational choice...
Mistakes that we tend to make tend to never be becuase we thought about them...but because we followed our hearts...when we act on desire thats when we tend to make mistakes...
I also do believe that some good decisions are based on impulse...but when you use your ration you will make the right decision...
When we act irrationally we are going to make mistakes arent we...and people arent going to be sympathetic and neither should they be...its a sign of weakness when you follow your heart over your mind...
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
Phoenix ... I agree with you...there is such a thing as love...total head over heels madly irrational love....the thing is it cannot always be sustained. In fact chances are that you will probably fall out of love in time to come. Becos intense love does not let you admit that your relationship has certain faults or shortcomings...ie interfaith or other problems. It is better to have a lukewarm relationship whereby you are not too disapponted if it fails and if it happens to work out well...then a bonus for you.
BTW Inter faith relationships have a very low chance of working out...from personal experience...so you have to go into them with extra caution...if at all.
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
why will it not work!?!!!
and why does it even matter?!!! what does faith have to do with love?!
i agree one has a choice in love, i don't see why ppl should always choose to marry thier own kind!!
the world would be so much better if ppl intermarried. imagine if your father is a jew, and your mother muslim..... you cant hate either! or if one parent si hindu and another sikh - again same thing!!!
i think inter-faith marriages are necessary - they promote peace!
however, marrages fail, and if what you want in a spouse if that they practice the same religion as you, then you should not go out with ppl of another faith!
but then...what if its seriously romantic...like..... and this could so be a bollywood movie!!!! okay soo... this imaginary couple could have met at work or school and even though they dont want to go out with each other and dont, they are around each other all the time and do fall in love anyway...it happens all the time...in movies!!! all the time!!!!
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
The chances are it will not work Farwah...high chances. In an ideal world faith would have nothing to do with love and we would be able to separate them...but realistically speaking it always creeps in. The deciding factor on how much it will affect your relationship is dependant on the personalities of those involved....but affect you it will. You don't have to hate your parents or grandparents or whatever...but imagine if a child id brought up as a muslim and his/her grandparents are ...say Hindu. Now the child is learning that idolaters will burn in hell...how will this child reconcile the fact that her grand parents are doing the wrong thing...even though they love the child immensley and give the child freedom to be a Mulsim. Another example....A Hindu child realises her aunts/uncles are muslims and eat Beef...What then? What if my parents are Hindus and after marriage ....because I have converted, I am not supposed to eat at their house?
Even when neither party converts and is fairly open to religion, you will have to decide one way or the other on certain things...circumsicion, marriage rituals when your children get married etc. In many of life's situations you willl have to choose one faith or another...who decides what to choose and how many times it will be one faith or the other? Always complications...But of course you can compromise if your personality allows...naturally the chances of having smooth sailing inter faith marriages are low...As it is marriage is very complicated and when other factors creep in....you need to work a lot harder at it.
You may not always have a choice in love...you may only have a choice whether to pursue that love or let it be an unfinished matter. In which case you may always wonder...What If?....
Pls don't misunderstand me...If you are going into inter faith marriage pls do so prepared and with an open mind....If you are lucky enough to make it work...you have done wonders for humanity and promoting peace
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
You deal with it the same way the sahaba did - by setting a good example to your other relatives through your actions, and not trying to hound them about religion. Many relatives of converts have come to Islam just through observing the actions of the person in the family who converted. My uncle recently took his shahada, after discussing religion for years with my husband and I. I pray that some day my parents do as well.
My children know that one set of their grandparents are christian, and the other are muslim, but it doesn't affect their relationship with either one. I buy meat for my parents at the zabiha shop, or she buys kosher meat from her grocery, and they obviously don't cook or serve pork when I am around. My family don't drink alcohol, so that was never an issue. If everyone is willing to be open, while following the good manners that our Prophet (saw) demonstrated towards non-muslims, then insh-Allah there won't be too many problems about respect. There is no reason not to eat at a hindu's house, as long as you are eating vegetarian or fish. My kids face a lot more prejudice from their father's family than from mine, I am sorry to say.
No relationship is easy, after all, it's about being willing to understand another person's point of view. :)
Re: Interfaith Relationships…when will these stupid people learn…
WOW!!!..why is it that whenever i defend something…ppl assume i am going into it! just b/c i believe ppl should have the rigths to do something..doesnt mean i am doing it!!
no you are right, i am sure its hard, but just as hard as lets say a muslim indian marrying a muslim bosnian, what sort of a wedding do they have - compromises need to be made. Or if a doctor marrys a travelling artist… how do you reconcile?
but i get what you are saying… when u have such issues you should be careful!
although… i should say - i dont see why we need to teach our kids to hate anyone’s method of understanding god and this life. - i know the thing with idol haters - maybe we need to put that reference into context - those particular idol worshippers were trying to get rid of islam - b/c it was a threat to them. and those particular idol worshippers were burying girls alive!! so maybe it was cool to hate them, like i can safely say that the house of saud is evil!!! if u have 50 wives and none of them can vote and some half your age! aside from the good possibility that u married your sister…it is unquestionably in my mind an evil tradition!
plus think about it! u never have to figure out which grandparents house you celebrate your religious holidays at!
my kids (that is when i adopt them) will be whatever faith they want! - after 16!!! until then they will practice islam and study all religions!:halo:
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
Farwah...Sorry I did not mean you per se when I said ""When you are going into inter faith marriages""...I meant generally...You seem to hav a great plan laid out for your kids....I mean quite an ideal plan....I wanted my kids to be open about religion as well and am trying to do that....Unfortunately its proving to be quite difficult...You say you will adopt...Why?
Amana...I agree with you fully..Not hound about religion...Very important not to force someone to convert. ...Maybe I didn't quite understand you,,,your kids face prejudice from your in-laws...do I understand correctly they are Muslim? And that you converted from Christianity to Islam? Why the prejudice? Do your inlaws accept you fully and your kids? Obviously you are a practising Muslim...How and what made you convert?
Re: Interfaith Relationships...when will these stupid people learn...
aly-sam
b/c there are too many ppl on this planet, i dont want to contribute to over-population. Not to mention there are pllleeennntttyy of kids who need parrents, so if can be a parent to them - dont need to really have my own! i dont think.
what are the different faiths you are raising you rkids with?
