Exactly!! Let’s not forget the husbands…in a lot of ways, I think it was harder on “S”, to sit back and watch me go through all the poking, prodding, surgeries, injections, miscarriages (4), bleeding, bedrest, and the hardest…the last pregnancy with the twins…he felt so helpless, like there was not a damn thing he could do to control the situation..it’s very hard for men to deal with all that and see their wives physically vulnerable.
Ameen! Even though now my boys are 8 & 6 mashallah, I still sometimes have nightmares about each miscarriage, where I was..how they happened…the fear…
Again, I can only speak for myself, but I don’t remember ever feeling bad for my cousins or friends who were getting pregnant just by their husbands looking at them (!) or having total normal uncomplicated pregnancies. I hope I never conveyed annoyance or bitterness towards someone else’s joy. It did get a little annoying having to answer so many questions, no one in my family had ever seen/heard of all problems we faced, but I think I handled it the best I knew how…by keeping most of it private and not sharing it with the whole world!
Yes, the longing was unbareable and I went through many crisis’ of faith, but I stayed focused on the task at hand…getting correctly diagnosed, following the specialists’ orders to a T and doing what I could to stay busy…I think it helped that I have such a large, close knit family and wonderful support structure. And my hubby was my biggest cheerleader. Without him, none of it would have possible. I would given up a long time ago.