I wish i'd married for money

Lifestyle Relationships
21

It is.
And no contrary to popular belief, it's not just desi women who complain, these kinds are all over.

22

Dude, let's not change our mind about things because of one sentence :)

23

no the women aint an exception... there are a lot of people out there both men and women who start comparing their lives to others and start wishing they had the better life and begin hating their own which leads to all sorts of problems..

the thing is, yes sometimes we do feel, oh i wish we had that.. but if u dont let it get to you and move on, things will be ok.... but if one starts dwelling on it then it gets bad

i know people who rub it in though.. ones who are trvelling and kids are going to private schools.. and how they rub it in to other people faces.. Ive seen it happen quite clearly when i was younger and im witnessing it now with their kids who are growing up

point is, shouldnt ur relationship matter more than materialistic things... how hollow must ur life be if u based it on money?

24

Re: I wish i'd married for money

Hats off to this woman, for saying what most women feel but wud never admit.

Its so true, how many women have pushed their husbands into bribery and corruption by nagging them about these things. Kulsoom ney nai gari li hai.
Tina is dafa poora maheena switzerland reh kar ai hai etc etc

25

Re: I wish i'd married for money

^LOL.

I don't think there's anything wrong with talking to her daughters about it. She's not forcing them to marry rich she's just telling them how it is. In the end it's their decision. What's wrong with falling in love with a rich guy? Everything else equal, I'd definitely marry the man who's more accomplished, successful and making the big bucks.

As for her own life, I think she should be grateful for what she does have, a loving father and husband. A father who spends time with the kids and teaches them! He's a private tutor! I'm sure the other kids don't have dads that spend that much quality time with the family.

26

Re: I wish i'd married for money

^ Before your married you still have a choice. She knew how he was before they married, and apparently was too blindly in love to care. Now years later, after having children, she's admitting this?

This is what shocks/surprises me most:

[QUOTE]

I'd never admit this to friends, but** I believe that there's more to life than being good parents. **
[/QUOTE]

I hope this woman is th exception and not the norm...

27

money does not buy happiness..... but it makes it easier to achieve :)

i dont agree with what she is saying, but i can understand where she is coming from.
honestly, there are alot of women out there who want their husbands to be the breadwinner, to make enough money so that they dont have to work, and worry about finances. But in today's world that is so difficult. So women work and do so to have a better life. But that mentality is not so easy to get rid of.

And im not talking about all women. I myself will work after i get married because i want to. I want to do something with my degree. But honestly i would also like to have the option not to work if i didnt want to.

28

Re: I wish i'd married for money

I must admit, I posted the exact same words in another thread.

Through my experience, I have developed immense respect for SOME girls, and immense contempt for SOME men.

Having said that, I think most girls lack the objectivity to form a rational basis for their decisions. The confidence, that is required to make a decision by valuing its pros and cons to make a better choice and not regret it later on, is often lacking. The other thread just talked about a woman, whose husband was a nice/caring guy, complaining about money and that she wished to have married for money. Another woman mentioned in that article, whose husband made a lot of money, complained about her husband not giving her enough time. Many women I have seen in the west, where marrying someone is almost always their choice, lack the confidence to live with their choices. When the honeymoon period is over, they would start nagging for superficial reasons and express their discontent over such immaterial things. No marriage is a PERFECT decision that would offer the best of everything (money, love, passion, respect etc), however, if made knowingly, one should have the courage to put up with the imperfect side of it.

29

Am I naive in thinking that these days it is still possible for a family to live on one income. But they might have to take serious cutbacks in lifestyles. I believe its really hard to downgrade your lifestyle once ur used to living on 2 incomes.

30

no absolutely not... there are so many families out there who are living on just one income and they are ok with it. It just depends on what kind of lifestyle you want. Alot of girls are raised with the thought that your husband is going to provide for you and work. And alot of girls are also unrealistic when they get married thinking that its like a fairy tale. Its real life and if you want something and your husband cant afford it then either u work or live without it. And thats where i think these emotions come from. That you are working but you secretly think that you shouldn't have to.

31

Re: I wish i’d married for money

Shay and icono are right. We all do this. As humans, you are never satisfied.
you always compare yourself to people who are doing better than you. You do get these feeling when you are struggling to get the ends meet, and see other people don’t have to worry about a thing. So yeah, it is completely normal.
However, making your life miserable over it is just ridiculous. You should just learn to deal with it and try to be happy for what you have.

I know I don’t compare myself with friends or relatives, but i do know that i get mad about people at work who don’t know jack, less qualified, and still get paid tons of money just because they know how to BS! :mad:

Desi totke
32

Re: I wish i'd married for money

Sari dunia paisay kay peechay bhaag rahi hai koi maanay ya na maanay.

Laikin kisi ki daulat aur us kay asaishon ko daikh kar jalna kurhna achcha naheen. Is say apni sayhat aur dimagh kharab ho ga. Doosron ko ki khushiaan daikh kar khush hona chahyay aur apnay say kumtar pay nazar dalni chahyay aur Allah ka shukr ada karna chahyay kay un say bahtar hain.

Bayshak daulat bhi zaroori hai zindagi kay liaay laikin is kay baghair bhi achchi zindagi guzari jaas sakti hai agar apni soach ho to.

Main nain hamaisha paisay ko koi ahmiaat naheen di laikin ub main confuse hoon kia shadi kay liaay larkion ko paison ko ahmiaat deni chahyay ya naheen?

33

Re: I wish i'd married for money

if "Carol" put 20 min effort in he can have this woman divorce her hubby "Bill"
Thats how unwise women are.

It need one woman(who the look up to) , to break a perfectly fine marriage.
It could their own mother telling "leave him I will set you up with my sister son"
Or sister " unky friend are rich I will set you up"
Stuff like that.

34

How honest are we allowed to get here? Here's my dose of honesty and opinion, which I am sure will anger some; but heck, why not.

IMO, the ROOT of this problem/mentality is that girls are taught and brought up to be 1) passive, 2) subservient and dependent on a man for their emotional and material happiness. Eastern AND Western culture feeds this social lie that your hubby will "rescue" you and give you material and emotional happiness. That the bride after the wedding day will live happily ever after and their babies will be these cute little buttons that will be no problem to handle and will love mom and dad for ever and ever. Our societies continue these lies through movies, books, fairy tales, etc etc.

Most South Asian girls are taught to be dependent on their husbands. They are taught to put themselves second, not want to be in control in a straight forward way (change your husband's heart through soft words beti), and in general gossip, compare material wealth, and back-stab their friends and neighbors because they themselves are miserable. The reality was not the fairy tale promised. Unlike men who are taught to be dominant and in control, the women feel they have no direct control, so indirectly they moan and groan "I wish I had married for money, boo hoo boo. At least then I could have drowned my sorrows of underachievement in a new Gucci purse." And the ones who do have money but are still unhappy, will rub it in every way they can.

How many girls here knew/know the reality of marriage and children before they got into it? Are there even 5? I know I for one didn't, and I grew up in a completely dysfunctional family. How many females here have had their elders tell them that your kids will give you hell? That you will love them with your life, but that they will disappoint you and hurt you like nothing else? That even though you may try your best for them, don't be surprised if they turn their backs on you and use you. How many of our aunties and uncles have given us this cold hard advice? I know none have ever been that honest with me.

BOTH men and women grow up with the most insanely skewed, unrealistic views about what marriage and family is supposed to be. We grow up taking everything for granted. And then as adults we make decisions based on fairy tale beliefs, then stew in our misery for the rest of our lives. If we don't change the fundamental way we bring up our sons and daughters, and what we teach them about adulthood, responsibility, and family, we'll continue to have way too many men and women unprepared for the difficulties of marriage.

Grow up ladies. Read some real books, educate your brains, take control of your own lives, and make your own money.

35

:hmmm: You raise an excellent point dude.

36

One of the best posts I've read around here in a long time, thanks.

37

Re: I wish i'd married for money

SU you read the whole post ??? hmmmmm
baat kia hy ?

what did she say dude?? tell me

38

Re: I wish i'd married for money

Hahahah PM, she spoke sense. Third eye should appreciate it!

39

I agree with what chester said...dont agree with what the writer is saying but i have been working since i was 16 (full time, at times 2 jobs with full time school) i would really like a break from working... and see nothing wrong with taking one. i want to work because "i want to" not because i 'have to." and if my husband can help me with that...thn why not.

Haal E Dil
40

I agree!!!!!!!!! 1000%

Freaking this women in da article was doing the talking - but I felt that I HAD WRITTEN THE ARTICLE!

Seriously, I have been so frustrated because of additional financial responsibilities too.
My hubby - who has a fixed time to enter the house after work - ALWAYS has things to tell me about how I did not do this and that and that!!!

AND I WORK FULL TIME!