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*Originally posted by CurruptAngel: *
I hate those people (especially women) who give out others' secrets to their spouse. What the heck, why shouldn't you keep it to yourself? why do you HAVE TO tell your husband about it? I just don't get it! I personally wouldn't hide anything about me to my husband but would never ever tell him about others' secrets that I've kept. Why does he need to know?
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You know sometimes you have to, if you know something and may be asked to help in the future or get involved, its a judgement call but I think it makes sense to tell your spouse about the situation at some point in time so he/she is aware of the situation and can be supportive if you do get pulled into helping, resolving, advising the person.
This however is different than just gossiping etc.
You know people like that also? Gosh I hate that, I had a neighbor who used to tell her husband everything I did, I mean come on now, even when I buy boots she told him. I HATE people like that.
Another thing I hate is when husbands or wives speak about their certian things (you know what I mean) to others. That is WRONG and HARAM!
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:) I think in urdu we call those people "pait kay halke" (those who can't keep things in their stomach for long)...:-D..Yeah, I know people like that..Gosh these people are so frustrated in their personal life..They tend to satisfy themselves from discussing these things with "anyone"..I remember during winter when I was working 11 hrs with this freind and I so wanted to chop off my ears or just run miless away from her because she wouldn't stop discussing about her personal "stuff"...sigh
You know sometimes you have to, if you know something and may be asked to help in the future or get involved, its a judgement call but I think it makes sense to tell your spouse about the situation at some point in time so he/she is aware of the situation and can be supportive if you do get pulled into helping, resolving, advising the person.
This however is different than just gossiping etc.
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Well, if my spouse doesn't know my friend or whoever personally then how do you think he can help? Yeah, there are times when you need a second opinion to help you make a better judgment but should you do it without the other person's permission? I don't think it's right. Sometimes you know the darkest secrets of your friends and if you share them with your spouse it could very well create a different image of your friend in his/her mind which you don't wanna create so don't you think it's better to keep it to yourself rather than give a bad impression of a friend in front of the spouse?
I am not sure I am reading you right here..could ya explain more.
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I met this persian gorgeous couple recently and the female has been a friend for ages. She chooses to confide else where rather than telling her boyfriend. I asked her, why is it that you are not open to him? She simply said, its because he has his privacy and I have mine.
Thats what I meant by secrets within privacy. I hope that explains it a bit.
Well, if my spouse doesn't know my friend or whoever personally then how do you think he can help? Yeah, there are times when you need a second opinion to help you make a better judgment but should you do it without the other person's permission? I don't think it's right. Sometimes you know the darkest secrets of your friends and if you share them with your spouse it could very well create a different image of your friend in his/her mind which you don't wanna create so don't you think it's better to keep it to yourself rather than give a bad impression of a friend in front of the spouse?
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agreed, and that is most likely the reason why I had said 'sometimes'. each istuation is different, people involved have different perspectives, different personalities and have different type of relationship. the basic point is of trust, if there is strust..whether or not one tells everything to their spouse does not matter. it can be helpful in some cases, and it can be useless garbage that teh spouse may not want to waste the time on in some.
but a blanket statement like its wrong or its right, in itself wrong..maybe :D
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*Originally posted by CocoNut: *
I met this persian gorgeous couple recently and the female has been a friend for ages. She chooses to confide else where rather than telling her boyfriend. I asked her, why is it that you are not open to him? She simply said, its because he has his privacy and I have mine.
Thats what I meant by secrets within privacy. I hope that explains it a bit.
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yeah so maybe she does not want him to know everything about her, or feels that it would make her look less appealing or crazy/freaky/weird etc.
There are things you are more comfortable discussing with other ppl due to a different type of bond. does not equate to hiding stuff though..
abay..time machine mil gayee ho gi. what century are you living in.
see he met them recently but she was prolly an internet buddy for ages.. i think thats where the confusion is of having met the couple recently but being pals with the girl for ages..or ummm being pals for teh girl for ages, but not having met them since they have been a couple..
coco..dunn smoke that stuff when u type..its for recreational use only
abay..time machine mil gayee ho gi. what century are you living in.
see he met them recently but she was prolly an internet buddy for ages.. i think thats where the confusion is of having met the couple recently but being pals with the girl for ages..or ummm being pals for teh girl for ages, but not having met them since they have been a couple..
coco..dunn smoke that stuff when u type..its for recreational use only
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First off i can vouch to the fact that Coco dont smoke no stuff even though it may appear at times as if he had lol. Jokes aside looks like Mr Fraudiyai has actually frauded someone out of crack..buddy its more use to u if you sell it rather than smoke it.
Coco had a valid question some partners feel they should share everything and some feel that they can have their private conversations on occasion as well. If both are happy the partners are happy with their setup then no one should say wether it is right or wrong.
hmmm i’m not married so cant really tell…but i dont think one should keep anything at all from their spouse…
but then what abt when friends tell u their secrets and ask u ‘dont tell anyone’… i wont go around telling everyone, but i think it’ll be difficult to keep things from one’s spouse…hmm…
You need to have seperate friends and seperate things you do so you have more to share and talk about, and to keep life itnersting so you aren’t doing the same, being teh same, seeing the same blah blah boring…
I also think that in new relationships people can slowly trust each other and tell each other things at whatever pace feels good for them…
You keep what goes in ur parent's household seperate from life at home with ur husband, he doesn't need to know what goes on behind close doors in ur parent's house. Imagine seeing the same face everday for more than 8 hours a day, i would need a break. Couples should stay together 6/7 it makes them appreciate each other more.
Fraudz, is it me or did coco just confuse you further.
so cant really tell…but i dont think one should keep anything at all from their spouse…
i wont go around telling everyone, but i think it’ll be difficult to keep things from one’s spouse…hmm…