STP.
when you take the time to decide about one, what do you essentially do is automatically allow for the chance of other option.
a good caring man or woman is not that mentality.
and getting to know will not work if the intention is to keep looking and pretend one is not looking. men do that all the time and that is accepted and encouraged actually by their 'friends and family' who have their own motives to realize by doing so.
in essence a man is helpless in that case, unless he knows about and absolutely values his own honesty.
Dushwari
^ I understand your perspective here. Let me clarify the view. You see, I said that one should not get too much involved with the opposite gender "Physically" and "Emotionally" before marriage but set the limits, because if a person goes deep into it, than it is difficult for him to come out of it and those wounds might have a severe impact on his/her life which might not even heal after the person marries someone else.
I know cases of people who after geting married, unintentionally start comparing their wives with all the previous girls with whom they were involved before, and such thoughts might lead to disasters. human being is too weak to always overcome his prohibited desires, so it is not good to play with fire through experimentations everywhere. It is man's nature that he can never be satisfied with one unless he closes the doors leading to all the other options, BUT also he should take his time before making that ONE decision.
The more you are careful the more you are safe. Here in Turkey it is usual for any class fellow to kiss on the checks of the person of opposite gender, but there are also few people with whom if a person of opposite gender wants to shake hand, they say " Sorry,* it is amanat of my spouse*" (reserved for my spouse) Only she has the right to touch it
I know cases of people who after geting married, unintentionally start comparing their wives with all the previous girls with whom they were involved before, and such thoughts might lead to disasters. human being is too weak to always overcome his prohibited desires, so it is not good to play with fire through experimentations everywhere.
This is just for the sake of discussion for discussion, unfortunately. One doesn't need to have a previous girl friend/boy friend/relationship to start comparing their spouses with the ones before. Comparisons can be made with anyone; our society is full of this.
. If someone does not have a single relationship in life, does not automatically mean that he is full of heya. On the other hand, if a person has multiple relationships in life, does not necessarily mean that he does not have any.
True, for few cases but not in the majority of cases. A person who remains closer to the fire has more chances of burning than the one who keeps himself away.
@ Dushwari sister. Well said I agree. This is so true:
"in essence a man is helpless in that case, unless he knows about and absolutely values his own honesty" and moral values.
in essence a man is helpless in that case, unless he knows about and absolutely values his own honesty.
Dushwari
I am sorry to object, over and over, over petty issues.
In my opinion, in essence a man (or a woman) is helpless anyway!
To a very large extent our behavior is reflective of our upbringing and the society we live in. Our thinking is based on years of programming fed to us by our parents and society. I said man is helpless anyway, because if programmed properly as per the society's civilized norms, he becomes INCAPABLE of doing wrong. It does not remain his own prerogative to do wrong. He is not good because he chose to be good but because he is programmed to be and has little choice.
As soon as people start valuing their own personality traits, they become biased.
assuming that the original post was from a muslim, i have one thing 2 say to u: Fear Allah!!!! there is NO concept (or space) in our religion 4 extra-marital relationships, PERIOD!
All Muslims should safeguard their decency and purity 4 one person and one person ONLY; their spouse...
Kis himmat say hum Allah SWT key saamne qiyamat key din kharhe hoon gai with actions like those mentioned above?
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse (zinaa). Verily it is a faahishah (a great sin) and an evil way.” [al-Israa’ 17:32]
I have faith in myself. However, it is not because I am really good, as I initially thought; it is my innate inability to be bad. This may appear to many as negative thinking but I think of it as more realistic.