Wow you lot a pretty depressing. Maybe spending some time in Darfur, Somalia or Chad will make you to realise what you have. Now on to subject matter. You will always get hurt and no man is an island unto himself. Meaning you have to contect to people. After all if you connect with them they hurt you but you also greater joy and happiness from that.
Its a balance. A simple truth I have learned in Darfur. Whatever you go through makes you stronger. Its your choice if it is to make you a better person.
I am gonna butcher this saying but its along of the lines of those who can hurt us the most can love us even more. Something to that affect.
in any relation if someone has hurt or cheat on u...and u were sincere with them...
is it easy for u to forgive or forget?
you know what unless you intend to hurt THAT person with criminal intentions, the only person who is going to suffer is YOU.
The person who holds the grudge suffers most!!!
So you get mad at them and get over with it. If you thinks you ARE good and that person is scum bag Time will prove.
hmmmmmm its like a raging truck on busy road. I mean you don't have to put your car in front of it.
All you got to do is move away smoothly, And get a bag of popCorn and wait for collision.
PlayStaion:: you have to have big heart IF that person changes and have good life with some one else Be happy for him. You don't want to make your self look like all-about-one-man-chick.
I think its important to be able to forgive, as sometimes it can turn u bitter,
i know from personal expereance that it can be very hard to forgive sometimes but i believe time heals, as for forgetting i dont think i could.
Hurting is one thing, cheating is another. If you can forgive someone cheating on you, you are beyond my understanding and probably a whole lot better than myself. Maybe it takes a lot of time to forgive someone who has cheated on you. Hurting someone is bad, but nothing one cant forgive.
One should forgive, but not forget. Learn your lesson, keep it with you. It will save you some serious heartache in future.
As always, to the point and very well said...as opposed to some other posters....wink wink......... ;)
If you are totally sincere with someone, and that person turns around and stabs you in the back then there is NOTHING worse than that. It's not possible to forgive and forget unless they realise their mistake and say sorry. Even then, your heart may soften a bit but won't be able to forget the hurt that you had to go through. Hearing the person's name or seeing them....doesnt bring out hatred but reminds you how much hurt they have caused you.
There are some things that one can never forgive....yet there are a lot of things that people SHOULD forgive but never do coz of their egos and stubbornness.
Those who can forgive truly are the best amongst us. It does not make you weak because you turned the other cheek, but to some degree stronger. This lifetime is relatively short. Who knows whether we will wake up in the morning or have guarantee that we will be around to forgive at a later stage?
We don't.
I think whilst forgetting something is not always feasible or do-able, forgiveness is. I am far from perfect but one thing I do try to do is forgive. It makes life comparatively easier and peaceful. If someone has hurt you, forgive and move on. Get your closure and move on in life, rather than becoming bitter, holding a grudge etc. I want to enjoy the days I have left and not look back down the line and think 'if only'. Sometimes it is even too late to let someone know you forgive them :(
I keep my religion very close to my heart, normally don't talk about it much but forgiveness is such a fundamental part of our religion. It is mentioned countless times in the Quran and encouraged. If Allah can forgive us for the gravest sins we commit, why can't us mere mortals forgive one another?
^ agree.
Forgiving is not just words hey i forgive u
Forgiving means u let go of all ill feelings towards anyone. I love myself more than i love that person. I really dun wish to live the rest of my life thinking abt the person who have given me tremendous hurt.
its important to move on. and do move on with the valuable lesson learnt, its gonna come in handy.
time heal all wounds. specially after u've met better ppl in life ;)
It depends on what that person did. Also depends on how long ago it was. Sometimes, especially in cases like your parents, you can have a normal relationship again, especially because they are parents, despite of what they did to you. After a while, even though there is something negative they did, something you can't forgive, you can still have a friendly relationship with them. It takes time and you are more careful around those people so won't do it again, so it's never the same again like before. So I think it also depends on the person who did something to you. And perhaps it also depends on the kind of relationship you have with someone.
You know, I used to forgive people quickly, no matter what they did. I used to forget en forgive. Now I don't always do that anymore. Some things are very awful and either can't be forgiven or are very difficult to forget.
A few times I forgave people, even family members, for doing something very negative or even awful, I still forgave them and even didn't think about it any more. Then again they did those kind of things, again I forgave them, but when some of them did those kind of things more often, then I realised, that some people keep hurting you.
Even if I do forgive someone, I still have the feeling that I have to be careful now, that person could do it again, just like the other people who kept doing it again. Now I'm afraid to forget what someone did, because I don't want it to happen again, so perhaps by not forgetting I can be more careful and ready for in case someone does something like that again.
Yes, I know, not all people are like that and some won't do something like that again to you. But a lot of people did do those same kind of things again, so I'm afraid to really trust anyone. Afraid to forget, even if I forgive something, because if I don't forget, then at by remembering what someone did, I can always be careful from that person so it won't happen again.
I used to be so forgiving and when people did things, after forgiving them I didn't think about what they had done anymore. But look at me now. Trying to protect myself and my kids by remembering what someone did to me so I will be careful enough not let it happen again. Never realised how much I've changed.
Wow you lot a pretty depressing. Maybe spending some time in Darfur, Somalia or Chad will make you to realise what you have. Now on to subject matter. You will always get hurt and no man is an island unto himself. Meaning you have to contect to people. After all if you connect with them they hurt you but you also greater joy and happiness from that.
Its a balance. A simple truth I have learned in Darfur. **Whatever you go through makes you stronger. **Its your choice if it is to make you a better person.
I am gonna butcher this saying but its along of the lines of those who can hurt us the most can love us even more. Something to that affect.
no..whenever i go through something like..i stop trusting peoples..i stop making friends..i stop going anywhere ...this kinds of things always makes me weak not strong....
If you don't forgive and forget, they maintain a bit of power over you, since your thoughts are occupied with the hurt they have caused you. Better to move on and focus on things that will contribute positive things to** your** future.
in any relation if someone has hurt or cheat on u...and u were sincere with them...
is it easy for u to forgive or forget?
i wish i had short term memory for relationships like bf/gf/fiance/husband/lover
where if there was abuse that was given, there should be a way to forgive. wipe out our memory so things like separation/breakups/divorces wouldn't need to happen
for me it's really hard to forgive continuous pain/abuse. after a certain point or after a couple years something just clicks in my mind and i just try to block the abuser from my mind, forgiving is so hard, forgetting can be done but not when it's constant pain
a certain level of maturity is needed for forgiveness and i just haven't gotten to that level yet. how is it done?
Nisha, nothing is constant; not even pain. You are really the only one who can figure out the how. Personally, I wouldn't focus on the forgiveness or the forgetting. I'd focus on getting over whatever it was that occurred; sh*t happens, move on. Time will take care of the forgetting, and the forgiving will become irrelevant once you are stronger in yourself.
Also, wax on wax off.
yea moving on is only possible if you aren’t around that person anymore but what if you had to see them everyday.
and in terms of the bold are you referring to what that guy did in karate kid or are you saying i’m due for a waxing i know stupid joke
yea being in life or death type of places like darfar can definitely make you think about enjoying every minute of your life and forget the troubles. but if family isn’t close by then what’s the use na. although the bold part is not true at all and i’ve never heard of this saying ever.
:( i know its really hard to Forgive especially for ur partner ..........but have 2 do it for the sake of KIDS ...........and may b OF LOVE.....................and then u have to forget .........from my life experience i takes 2 yrs to delete whats in my memory box ;-) but some times memories that part is still there and u cant forget but u have 2 smile as life demands but u have to TRY...........forgive and then Forget .......and then life goes on........
..
i know stupid joke 
but the other person does not forget easily..