Oreo,
I understand that you were not on best terms with her, but do you have some interaction with her parents? Is it possible for you to maybe talk to a member of her family in her absence? For example....could you....let's say......talk to her mom ......and she could in turn help transform the attitude of the rest of the family.
You could try explaining to her mom that,** "I understand that what your daughter did has hurt you. But the ultimate forgiveness for this gunnah belongs to Allah. Her gunnah is not so much that she hurt your family reputation.....her gunnah is more that she transgressed a limit of Allah's and it's up to HIM more than anybody else to forgive her. She's your daughter.....please forgive her for hurting you and try to move on. IF we expect Allah to forgive US.....we should try to forgive others. Let's look at the positive things. Alhumdolillah she was able to get married. It would have been worse if she didn't get married. And the gunnah is not hers alone....obviously her husband is equally guilty. But HIS family can't hold that against him forever either. There's an innocent life that will enter this world.....do you really want to treat your grandchild as if it is a blemish? People have committed the WORST sins and become such good and guided human beings afterward....and have earned God's forgiveness. Give your daughter some hope so that she can learn from her mistake and strive to improver herself. She needs her family's support. It is said that Allah is more merciful to His creation more than a mother loves her child. So being her mother, have mercy on her and forgive her.
** Can you try to do that? Or encourage someone else to reason with her family? Such as her older sister if she has one? IF her family doesn't come around, then my suggestion is that YOU try to give her your support and company. She should feel that she has the friendship and support of at least SOMEONE.......and it's good to have it from someone around her age group that she can relate to.
You're dealing with desi families here. Give it up. Move on. The couple needs to start a new life of their own, and yeah maybe their families may not be a part of it. shrugs