yes…adults do that…and part of doing that is including your children in society…not isolating them from it.
you can argue that you don’t have to put your kids in that society to contribute to it but honestly it would be a very weak argument, wouldn’t it?
you lead by example. you show people the way by walking that same path…not alone…with your family.
another point that I wanted to bring up:
have you heard of the saying: “It take a village to raise a child” ?
I recall my elders saying that they were not only concerned about what their parents would think of their indiscretions but were also afraid of being caught by neighbours and other community members. Simply because those community members were held in the same high regard and had the “privilege” of being able to discipline as well as love.
I think I’m digressing though…
In your analysis of post #119 the message that you might be missing is that the child went to school and was able to maintain all the same values and principles that you are insisting are lost in the method.
One more thing I found interesting…tareef vo hoti hai jo doosra karay. Tareef khud ke moo se tareef nahin hoti.
I read through the para’s of examples you gave of your kids psyah bhai and there’s nothing remarkable that can be credited to home schooling. All siblings stick together when under any sort of pressure or threat. Its not unusual…its nature and we do it even as adults. I may argue with my siblings but nobody else has the right to say one negative thing about them.
I just don’t like the idea that public schooled kids are not as good or well off as home schooled…sorry but thats not only false but lacks any proof. You don’t know that because you haven’t subjected your kids to any sort of scale to even know where they stand. You’re the only one judging them and you’re not the best judge since you’re the parent and completely biased. This is where a teacher comes in…giving you a reality check every now and then about how your child is really doing versus how you think they’re doing.
separating your kids from other kids, depriving them of growing up with other children and denying them the school sports/activities/trips with other kids is tantamount to discrimination and can be equated with sin.
i was kinda home schooled and i’m strongly against it. it’s my personal experience. i hated the idea then, i hate it now and will always hate it till i die.
On what basis are you saying that separating my kids from other kids, depriving them of growing up with other children and denying them the school sports/activities/trips with other kids is tantamount to discrimination and can be equated with sin?
And when you are talking to me in person … As you are … Please try to establish the truth of your statement first … Anyway … The basis of your accusation please … And dare I note giving Islamic rulings without authority or a basis to do so is a sin.
It is reported that Imâm Mâlik – Allâh have mercy on him – was asked, “Who is allowed to give religious rulings (fatwâ)? He replied:
Issuing fatwâ is not allowed except for a person who knows what the people have differed in. It was said, ‘Do you mean the different views of the people of opinions (those who depend more on analogy and speculation)? He replied, “No, * the different views of the Companions of Muhammad – Allâh’s praise and peace be upon him. And he must also know the textual evidence that abrogates [other rulings] and that which is abrogated [by other texts], both in the Quran and the hadîth of Allah’s Messenger – Allâh’s praise and peace be upon him. Such a person can issue fatâwâ.
Muzna … My opinion is that our children don’t have a duty to be in society … Neither do we as parents have a duty to put our kids into society … Rather we should train them for society by selectively and gradually introducing them to it. I understand your difference and respect it … So please respect mine.
Yes, I have heard of the phrase ‘it takes a village to raise a child’ … This has to be qualified against the other phrase ‘that the worst influence on children is other children’ … Village responsible adults can be engaged in raising children … Choosing the right adults to help raise your children is also important … For the safety of our children. We would not want to put our kids in to the hands of an alcoholic for example. I think it was Imam Al-Ghazali who mentioned that children pick up bad habits from each other far quicker than anything good, because they simply do not have the discipline to cope with better decision making. A man who works in the same building as me introduced himself and we became acquaintances, he said that his kids used to go to school in the UK, but here as they did not find a place, they have been put in to Qur’an school for hifz. I thought that they would be good to meet our kids … I invited them over to our place … And while we ate food with the parents, which was fun and we talked some good topics … The kids picked up a really annoying game … They started to make flatulence noises out of the arm pits … I used to do that as a child … And I enjoyed it … Parents used to tell me off … I was shocked how such a thing could be spread so quickly … I was upset … Our kids now do not do it … As we have had to explain to them that it is misbehaviour. I want better standards for my kids than I myself had … That is all … I understand this may be considered too much by others, but at least respect this position I have taken rather than trying to suggest I am wrong … Unless of course you have hard evidence, that I can act upon.
Yes, when I honestly look at myself today … In all my inner shortfalls I can directly blame them on being in a position where I was subjected to certain concepts too early and in the wrong manner. It is easy for kids to keep secrets from parents, I did it, and we all probably did it, even my home schooled children try to do it … And succeed many times. I am very sceptical of the idea that we can retain our values while we go to school at the same time. Again my opinion, I’m not forcing it down anyone’s throat … Can you respect that?
That was a small point and not really one made to distinguish my kids from other kids … If you want to know what does then it is their innocence … I don’t have chalaak kids, but they are smart in other respects. Alhumdulillah. Our kids are being taught how to learn … And how to think cogently. It means they can hear an argument and detect the soundness in it. This will provide them a tool to use for the rest of their lives inshaAllah. Schools do not teach that … They teach material … The reproducibility and the application of it … But not the methods on how the children can acquire new concepts and build on existing ones … Because you can’t measure that ability easily.
That does not infer goodness of a child … It merely presents a case. As for my kids, yes, they are very different … Since the values I go by are different my basis for measuring them is not how well they understand science and maths, but how well behaved they are, how they think and how they can adapt to increase their learning career … I am only looking for one performance indicator of how well my wife and myself are schooling and that is how much our kids want to learn and show interest and fun in it … For us that is enough …
Home schooling is fun for both parents and kids … Those who like knowledge and learning and discovery and discussion will love to home school … It beats many other pass times …
Home schooling means that we can learn with our children all over again and it means we need to stay fit to take them to the parks and play dynamic games with them ourselves …
Home schooling gels the family in a way that it puts the complete onus on the parents or whoever the parents have appointed as authorities over the kids … The parents get to CHOOSE the teachers … It is not necessary that all of the teaching is done by them.
peace psyah bhai.
I do respect your opinion. I think the discord becomes apparent in the form of defensive intercourse in this thread because some folks feel a certain level of condemnation in your words, myself included.
When you suggest that you don’t want your kids to know 200 curse words while others may be okay with it, you are by default suggesting that those parents are less than vigilant or concerned about their children. Nobody will take that sort of accusation without countering it.
I have kept my child in the Montessori method for 6 years now and despite people telling me that I am wasting my money when I should be saving for post-secondary education, I have stood steadfast in my position. I do not take offence when someone tells me that my approach is/maybe wrong. I respect their position and continue doing that which I believe is good for my child. I’m sure that you do the very same when you opt for HS. I can respect that. But if you constantly suggest that I am doing wrong by my child for not following your path, then we will definitely be at odds.
^ Montessori method makes for great leaders … Keep it going
May be the written text loses much in intent, and tone that otherwise would be there when spoken … I didn’t mean that parents want their kids to learn bad things … May be I was trying to say that with HS we don’t have to worry as much about bad habits forming … on the condition that we as parents are well behaved too … In terms of correcting issues we can afford to be on the back seat … And not fire fighting so much … I didn’t mean to imply that parents don’t think about behaviour, of course they do …
I still don’t see anything remarkable there that can be attributed to homeschooling.
My 7 and 4 year old nieces and 3 year old nephew are probably more innocent than your kids because of the environment they have and how protective their mothers are. Its the age they’re in…homeschooling has zilch to do with it. Sorry but its true.
Schools do teach more than you’re assuming…I’ve no idea what kind of schools you’ve experienced. You really need to do some research and choose a school carefully…it seems like that part was neglected? My niece is 7 and tests at levels beyond her years. Her lowest score on any given day is going to be no less than 97% Mashallah. Her problem solving and logic is excellent. But still as innocent and masoom as ever. I am sorry but I don’t think homeschooling is contributing to these* very obvious *traits in kids.
This is what I don’t want to have with my kid…denial, blinders, bubble mentality, etc.
All you’ve done is given them a shell…contained them…that’s it.
Psyah Bhai, again these qualities are not inherent only of home school children. My boys are not different than yours. I am constantly told by their educators and peers about how mature, responsible, empathetic and over all amazing and well adjusted they are. Your comment that schools do not teach that is not 100% accurate because these qualities are more of a result of active parenting than schooling.
There is not an ounce of chalaki in my kids. As parents, sab ko apnay bachay zaheen, pyaaray or perfect lagtay hain, and there is nothing wrong with that, however, to attribute it only to homeschooling while sneering public or traditional schooling, again, only makes you come off as pretentious and biased.
I’ve long said, here on GS and elsewhere that my main goal as a parent is to raise consciousness kids who above all else are achay insaan. And alhamdullilah, I, as well other parents here who have chosen not to homeschool, have managed to do that just fine.
I was gonna ask the same question…we really need some experienced input/feedback.
I’m gonna go see if my friend who home-schooled is willing to join and participate…
sorry…your argument doesn’t hold water.
I engaged directly with you and asked if there was anything relevant that you had to contribute to the thread.
You didn’t have a straight answer.
All you came to do was make trouble and taunt.
You had ample opportunity to prove me wrong by contributing something positive to the discussion.
You failed.
You have a private message from me…another opportunity to redeem yourself.
I’ll be waiting for your reply.
I think you’re hte one ignoring most relevant posts…after 100+ relevant posts in a thread, you come in and decide to pick on one person’s sentence? Why dont’ you try reading the whole thread and understand the context of what was said rather than disagree for hte sake of disagreeing? It goes without saying…this is general advice that goes for most topics, not just homeschooling.
We are trying to be sensitive to the specific nuances of the learning needs of our children and provide them a custom made education. So it is not that clear cut …
The best thing to do is to look for videos that speak about the subject …
