Home schooling....pros and cons?

[psyah]

Re: Home schooling…pros and cons?

Peace Sister Muzna

I stated earlier that my value system is different and was penalised for saying that by another here - that it comes across as being arrogant. When you copied the part below … the reasons why you do not like it - is precisely that it proves me right - we simply find different things of greater or lesser importance.

@Muzna

respectfully psyah bhai,

I don’t want to come across as picking your post apart but I found it impossible to pass through this thread without attempting to show you how your opinion/writing/approach could be seen as having the exact opposite effect from what you obviously would like…

there are two points in this sentence that contradict my parenting style and I find disturbing…

1. that your kids do not often come into contact with other children

• how can you possibly consider this to be okay? is it because you believe that such exposure would be harmful to your children? do you believe that children other than your own are so ill-mannered that you should not permit such engagement? do you feel threatened by what “might” happen if your kids were to engage with their peers?

2. not knowing what your kids would do in any environment

• as disengaged I might be since I allow my child to spend a good 6-8 hours of her day in the care of others’, I can tell you exactly how my child will behave in any given circumstance. not because she has been indoctrinated but because I know my child THAT well.
• how can you feel that you have done your duty of safeguarding your children when you don’t know how they might behave in a bullying situation? does this thought not nag at you? perhaps you believe that your children will always and forever be in the care of you and your wife so you feel that you don’t really need to know how they might behave if they were on their own?

I need not answer your questions fully, because any justification may bring me under the same accusation … but I can say that I have my reasons and they are comparative to the gains of missing certain things out in order to ensure other things are kept in tact …

When I stated earlier that I don’t want my kids to learn 200 curse words, I meant I don’t want that so strongly enough to remove them from that environment. Others may not want it too, but they will tolerate it for other reasons - hence - different value system.

@Muzna

again…I am preplexed…why do you not find it important to know what they would do? don’t you use the behaviour, actions/reactions of your children to understand how to better educate them? I do. I constantly watch for nuances, hints that my child gives away in her actions/tone/language/mannerisms to interpret her mindset and adjust my methods in order to better reach her.

so if such principles of justice and fair play are being implemented and taught then why not allow exposure to other kids? you should feel confident in your teachings and their efficacy to allow the kids to practice what they have learned, no?

that’s great! I have yet to see any set of siblings that do not act in this way whether they are home-schooled or not.

first and foremost…none of the behaviour that you have mentioned, either good or bad, has one iota to do with the method of schooling. children from both backgrounds will behave in both ways.

it’s wonderful that you have children who are better mannered than the ones that you visited…but I would hesitate before I labelled those children as having “evil traits”. I find that quite harsh coming from someone that I expect much better from.

as for not visiting that house again…well there are two ways to look at it…you can avoid a difficult situation or you can use it to your advantage. while we all seek to protect our children from adversity, we should not be so keen as we are likely to leave them lacking in the skills required for conflict resolution…and if you are going to tell me that they learn enough of that within their existing social environment of each other’s company then I would have to suggest that they really haven’t learned it all if there were unable to secure their fair share of time on the game console with the host kids.

furthermore…your reaction of avoidance may be fine for now but what happens when the kids are adults and they don’t have the option of avoiding an “evil” co-worker or neighbour or in-law? what will they do? change jobs? move? avoid the wife’s relations or perhaps take a different wife?

I’ve cut my post short. Please keep in mind that my intention is not to criticize the children’s behaviour but to question the points that you have put forth.
I want you to see that there is another side…

To explain my stance on this … conflicts can be resolved in several ways … there can be intellectual methods, physical methods and a mix of different types of methods including the truth, lies, seeking sympathy, seeking subservience … we can either back away or we can confront … To many people backing away could be seen as weakness - children are more prone to this … Otherwise, backing away can be advantageous in the long run … it may be a wise choice - again children are unable to see wisdom. Children are simply not equipped to deal with conflict in all of its expressions … and when children get in to conflicts they emit an animal like survival behaviour … they will be subdued by other children or dominate other children and that is harmful in both cases … they will be unable to understand compromise …

Kids will use lies and harm others in certain situations - which is unacceptable for us … that is all. We want conflict scenarios to be minimised at this age … We don’t believe that they will develop properly by being subjected to conflict this early … that is all.

Have you read Lord of the Flies …
Lord of the Flies - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

“Fancy thinking the Beast was something you could hunt and kill! You knew, didn’t you? I’m part of you? Close, close, close! I’m the reason why it’s no go? Why things are what they are?”

“What are we? Humans? Or animals? Or savages?”

“Which is better–to have laws and agree, or to hunt and kill?”