I would have tried it myself had my linguistic abilities were a tad better. The translation does lack in proper form as you aptly stated above. And thanks for the acceptance.
Next time, the requestor/s should state their purpose of translation, as in this case for a passage and the source of the passage. The passage sounds like it was written by someone, a native speaker, who does not know how to clearly state his feelings. That is what I gathered with my limited knowledge of Urdu.