Re: Haq Mehar in the US
I feel cheated… Mine was double digits. lol
But FIL gave it to me when I signed the nikahnama. Now hubby jokes that he bought me for XX amount
Re: Haq Mehar in the US
Interesting points. I actually emailed the mosque around here and asked the Imam to bring this up maybe one day in a sermon and clarify the rules.
Desis have traditions sometimes of giving LOTS of jewelry. It would make sense that the girl walks away with a small necklace locket or something and that the boy's family would be unjust to ask for it back.
But when you have heavy loads of jewelry being exchanged, like work 20,000 dollars and up, of which some can be precious family heirlooms having been passed down generations, then walking away with all that gold seems kind of wrong. But then, Islamically, asking for the gold back seems wrong too.
Re: Haq Mehar in the US
It could be any agreed upon amount, but pcg is right. Technically the amount should be so girl could maintain the similar life style for 6 month in case of divorce, that she would be living with her hubby. My opinion is this that haq mehr should be 6 x 40% of hubby's net income. So if he brings home 10,000 a month net, haq mehr should be 24,000 minimum.
You are right TLK. Haq mehr is not extrotion of money from dhula walay. It's just a right give to a girl by Islam. So whey not exercise your right? You obviously don't have to go overboard and ask for millions of dollars when you know the guy only earns in thousands. On a typical desi weddings we end up spending 3-4000 on a photographer yet when it comes to mehr, everyone has a problem. We made sure my sister has a decent amount of mehr in CAD currency. I think as Khatti mentioned, it is the one where the girl can ask for it later and the groom doesn't have to give it right away.
Re: Haq Mehar in the US
If the guy's not upholding the Islamic elements of the marriage contract on the basis that secular law can't enforce it, then she should just help herself to what secular law lets her have in event of a divorce but which Islamic law does not - Alimony, splitting marital assets such as home, etc.
Haq Meher is supposed to be her security in event of divorce. Alimony and split of assets are secular law's version.
Re: Haq Mehar in the US
So what does Islam say about a house for example? Let's say the house is in joint ownership - man and wife both have their names on property rights? Vs. an example where the guy's name is on the house (ex. he got it from his family or he bought it before he married), then does the wife have a right to the home? Because after a divorce, where does she go in the event she doesn't have family?
Re: Haq Mehar in the US
So what does Islam say about a house for example? Let's say the house is in joint ownership - man and wife both have their names on property rights? Vs. an example where the guy's name is on the house (ex. he got it from his family or he bought it before he married), then does the wife have a right to the home? Because after a divorce, where does she go in the event she doesn't have family?
I'm curious to see how folks respond to this as well.
Re: Haq Mehar in the US
So what does Islam say about a house for example? Let's say the house is in joint ownership - man and wife both have their names on property rights? Vs. an example where the guy's name is on the house (ex. he got it from his family or he bought it before he married), then does the wife have a right to the home? Because after a divorce, where does she go in the event she doesn't have family?
The first situation is easy enough. If the property has both their names on it, it is the legal property of both equally, so it would be split.
For the second scenario, if my memory serves me right I once read something related to this. If a woman doesn't have a surviving wali who is obligated to provide for her, then the state becomes her wali and it is the state's obligation to provide.
This is why the haq meher ought to be substantial
Re: Haq Mehar in the US
That's terrible. All the more reason women should secure an education and livlihood. Cannot rely on even an Islamic marriage for protection these days.
Re: Haq Mehar in the US
That's terrible. All the more reason women should secure an education and livlihood. Cannot rely on even an Islamic marriage for protection these days.
Yes you can, the Haq Mehar can be substantial enough so as to provide fair compensation. Furthermore, since marriage contracts are allowed, I see no reason why a pre-nup can't be incorporated either to protect the woman in case of divorce. Like any law, you can twist it to be positive or negative.
Re: Haq Mehar in the US
Except I think there is a misconception with desis that they think the nikkahnama will be upheld as its a written contract, but they don't realize that judges will not accept it. If they do it sets up a precedence for sharia law as a parallel legal system in the states and now this is the second couple I've seen having issues because they try to exert religious rights in an American court room and find it does not work for them. So the girl would not get her Haq mehr if the guy held it - American courts won't penalize him. And he can ask for jewelry back too depending on the state laws. In which case bride doesn't get to keep valuable gifts.
I've now seen a couple of desi guys annoyed with the concept of the wife leaving with jewelry too. Islam aside, they try to contest the return of jewelry in the courts. Not surprisingly if you invested thousands and thousands of dollars on gold to show off your wife at the wedding.
Re: Haq Mehar in the US
^ I'm not getting why lack of haq mehr alone will break a woman getting divorced in the U.S. Plenty of non-Muslim women manage to do just fine without it. Like someone mentioned earlier.....marital assets are generally divided and certain states also have alimony and take into consideration the woman's ability to support herself. In states where they recognize community property (such as Texas)....ALL assets/income acquired after the marriage date divided among the couple (ie. the husband doesn't get to keep everything and kick the wife out on the street).
Re: Haq Mehar in the US
Except I think there is a misconception with desis that they think the nikkahnama will be upheld as its a written contract, but they don't realize that judges will not accept it. If they do it sets up a precedence for sharia law as a parallel legal system in the states and now this is the second couple I've seen having issues because they try to exert religious rights in an American court room and find it does not work for them. So the girl would not get her Haq mehr if the guy held it - American courts won't penalize him. And he can ask for jewelry back too depending on the state laws. In which case bride doesn't get to keep valuable gifts.
I've now seen a couple of desi guys annoyed with the concept of the wife leaving with jewelry too. Islam aside, they try to contest the return of jewelry in the courts. Not surprisingly if you invested thousands and thousands of dollars on gold to show off your wife at the wedding.
Like Paheli said, American divorce courts probably give women more than what's stipulated in the Haq Mehar, so in reality, the fact that judges don't uphold it is a moot point.
Re: Haq Mehar in the US
Not in any one wedding I've seen is it paid. It's an amount that is promised that when there is a split up, that's what she walks away with.
If you had any knowledge about Islam, you would know that Haq Meher is a marriage gift, it has nothing to do with divorce or no divorce. Its not some fraeking insurance policy which you obviously would like it to be...