Re: Growing Up without Parent/s
Me and my sister grew up with mum being a single parent as my dad left the UK when I was 5 and my sister was 3. (Long story but he went to India and never came back)
I think we still had the best childhood ever though, because we lived with nana and nani, we never wanted for anything.
After nana and nani died and we were older, in our teens, I felt it was so improtant to ensure that we all stuck together, now that there were just the 3 of us. I never wanted ANYONE to say that because we grew up without a father that we were this or that, or that mum did a bad job.
The hardest bit was when friends asked us as children where our dad was. We learnt never to mention him, and I especially became very protective over mum.
Shukr to Allah SWT, he gave me the hidayat to do everything to make mum proud of me (can't say the same for my sister - but I'm not going there!)
And as a result, my success in education and career was a reflection of my upbringing........all credit to my mum and grandparents for the amazing upbringing I had.
I don't think it's felt so much when the kids are small/growing up/at school as there is always something to do, like the school run etc but these days I fel sorry for mum as she has no companion in life. She never re-married (my dad did), even though family and friends told her to, especially after both my grandparents had died.
Now, it's upto me (and my sister!) to ensure that we attempt to repay even half of what mum did for us.
I don't think we missed out on anything..................becaue we got so much love from mum and gradparents. Mum's an only child, so she has no immediate bro's and sisters, but lots of first cousins who are our mama's/khala's.......and who love us as such.
Today, in almost every culture it seems like almost everything bad is blamed on an individual growing up without a dad.............but that's not always true......