Re: Getting your way in fashion with mother in law
i was just having this convo with my mom the other day… i sent her a pic of this gharara that i liked and she was like, yeah when your bro gets married, im going to make this for his wife. i was like, no you wont, you’re going to give her the money and ask her to make something SHE likes/wants. mom was like wtf, i think not, shaadi kay joray come from dulha hamesha, and i was like, mom, that happened way back when… what if she has her own dreams for her wedding dress? imagine if my MIL had pushed me to wear a white gown on my wedding day? you know how unhappy i would have been with that.
she got my point but she kept insisting so finally i was like, is it your shaadi or hers? cos frankly ma, you had your day and you wore what you were given. now shes the bride, she has her own hopes/desires/ideas, she can make her own clothes. i love my mom but she’s got to be less rigid about this or i can see issues, especially since my bro’s g/f has completely different taste in clothes from ours and my mom thinks the things she wears are quite paindu 
so many of my friends have had that done- their inlaws give them money and they go off and plan their trousseau’s and wedding dresses.
i think a good compromise is to obviously choose things for jaheyz, and then maybe to give a second-day valima gharara or a mehendi outfit or something so that the MIL feels like she’s been heard, and the DIL doesn’t feel like she’s got no say and she’s got to wear what is being given. and then the bride also gets to choose things for her bari, so its half and half.