"for muslim women, marriage's delicate dance"

[fghd]

Re: "for muslim women, marriage's delicate dance"

@silent tears

its pretty obvious that u have never lived on campus...guys and gals get together either at the "student learning centers" or at each other's apartments to cram for tests, do homework or simply hang out! and contrary to popular belief, Islam and its myriad complexities do come up in conversations. i know for a fact, that these groups talk, laugh, and do "ba'jamaat salah" late at night...howzzat, einstein?

never say never!!!

u r contradicting urself!

[PyariCgudia]

Re: "for muslim women, marriage's delicate dance"

Okay, so then staying out late does not necessarily mean you're a bad person.

You know, there is something called self-responsibility. You can go anywhere, and be anywhere, as long as you are responsible about the things you do, you are ok. And if you do something wrong, then ask for forgiveness. Lajawab, I don't think you can classify everyone as the girl who got raped 3 times, and frankly, regardless of what the girl was doing, there is NO JUSTIFICATION for her being raped by anyone. I don't see you admonishing the 3 men/boys who raped her. Typical.

[KAKA-ATOM-BUM]

Re: "for muslim women, marriage's delicate dance"

people, dont look at everything too literally and jump to conclusions and assumptions. Learn to read between the lines, you arent 7.

If ur staying out till 3, 4 am habitually for stuff like going for drives and just 'hanging out with mates' while ur mum's worried sick at home thinking where my son is, yes thats considered awara. Same with girls. Thats what Lajawab meant when he said that decent men avoid staying out late at night.

Dont jump to stupid conclusions by presenting scenarios like oh but what if i was out for sehri at 4 am or what if i was discussing hadiths with my guy n girlfriends... or that I go to movies. No you girls shouldnt be out with ur guy friends at 3 am 'discussing hadiths'.

[lussi]

Re: "for muslim women, marriage's delicate dance"

ooh yeh..too bad muslims girls cant fool around and stay late with their male friends or else their reputation gets tarnsihed..boo hoo...cry me a river..

[Sara516]

Re: “for muslim women, marriage’s delicate dance”

I went to Brooklyn at 2 in the afternoon to get some stuff from my friend (a grl) and to get my eyebrows done (coz theres no threading places in Bx ).. am i awara/awari? Mein gandi bacchi hoon?

[PyariCgudia]

Re: "for muslim women, marriage's delicate dance"

Yes Sara. I think we're all going to hell.

[lollypop_man]

Re: "for muslim women, marriage's delicate dance"

silent tears, it was a joke chanda... i luv the gal and admire her for her brains.

i think its quite obvious from this thread why desi american gals r having probs getting rishta... which was a point missed by the article.

[S02]

Re: “for muslim women, marriage’s delicate dance”

@Lajawab

And Sahar, I don’t think it’s saying the Islam is liberating them, instead from within Islam they are liberating themselves…Where else would you find prohibition of late nights out and male friends? In Islam obviously…

The writer is good and made you think that what’s happening is good, that women can now partake in a gender jihad whereby they can party all night with male friends…

Nah, the writer isn’t that good. I didn’t say I agreed with her attempts at “liberation.” I just think that you objected to/misinterpreted the few lines that actually made sense.

[SolarOceans]

Re: “for muslim women, marriage’s delicate dance”

@sadzzz

:halo:

i think not.

Just cus you are out late, doesnt mean ur awara…

as PCG said, you could be out for sehri (which is a very common thing to do here) or just be out at the movies…

being judgemental is sooo desi…and uncool

Very true. Thank GOD it’s GOD that judges us and not man. . .

[Muzna]

Re: "for muslim women, marriage's delicate dance"

It's like discussing this thing with a bunch of kids.

Let's turn things around for a bit......maybe you will see it differently:

If you have daughters....will you let them go out for dinner in mixed company and return at 3 am with the excuse that they got into a dicussion about hadees and it was so informative and compelling that they just couldn't tear themselves away?

(And I know at least two of you that will say, "Sure, I trust my kids." at which point I will show you either two very naive individuals or two individuals that just don't want to admit the point we are trying to make.)

At the end of the day what will end up counting is what societal norms dictate. Whether you like it or not, whether you agree with it or not........

And in generally accepted "decent" society.....anyone, gal or guy, staying out THAT late at night for no "constructive" purpose (i.e. work or schooling) is considered awaara.

So.....how many times over are you going to hell? ;)

[PyariCgudia]

Re: "for muslim women, marriage's delicate dance"

Hey I'll tell you one thing Muzna. There are parents out there that think differently, because they have trustworthy kids. I know in my college, my parents and the parents of the other kids there were always in the loop as to what was going on. So if we went out to a movie or we were out at Denny's or what have you, parents always knew and parents always knew that the other parents always knew.

Plus, the kids in our group knew the parents, and vice versa, so there was a big trust there. And with us, I think we handled the issues of temptation pretty well methinks.

I can understand that most desi parents would not be cool with that sort of thing.

[Sadiyah]

Re: "for muslim women, marriage's delicate dance"

Great article.

I somehow ended up feeling queasy by the time I finished reading it. Didn't see anyone complain about how their parents may have tried to force them to marry someone from back home.

In any case, all of this cultural stuff is sometimes very difficult to grasp and to live with.