Few things we wish girls knew….
- We aren’t mind readers!
- We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
- When you sleep over never boss me around in bed unless it is during sex.
- Smoking is the biggest turn off.
- It never hurts to work out.
- If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
- “Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
- If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn’t already know.)
- Don’t expect guys to say as many sweet things as they do in the movies. (It takes a lot of guys and their wives to come up with those scripts).
- Only models are able to wear most of the stuff you see in fashion magazines.
- No guy will complain if he comes home and sees you in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, or just plain naked.
- You don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank top are fine by us.
- Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
- Sharing your deepest feelings in no way guarantees reciprocity.
- If were not getting love we’ll start looking…(haha…just kidding…psych…I’m dead serious)
- Your hair is like 14 inches long, how are we supposed to notice a quarter inch missing.
- You can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports movies or “Old yeller.”
- “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
- You’re probably not as funny as you think.
- Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one more girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
- Cooking makes a girl that much more attractive especially if she can use a grill.
- You can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
- The red light means the video camera is off.
- Nothing you will ever do will entitle you to operate the remote control. (Unless operating means handing it to us.)
- The only thing left to be said after sex is “goodnight.”
- Critiquing our driving is only second to critiquing our love making.
- The jeans don’t make your ass look fat. Your fat ass makes your ass look fat.
- 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.
Here are a few additions:
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not considered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfect present again!
Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!
Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!
If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.