Female Sexuality - North African Style

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

errrr what? What kinda modern muslim men have you been hanging out with? You cant make that generalization at all! I havent really discussed sexualty with errrmm men in general neither do i want to, but most of the guys i know respect women and they would never do it with a girl unless they were married.

Besides shouldnt a girl think with her mind not give in to her desires when shes sleeping with a man who isnt married to her? Why not stop and think that this pleasure is temporary but the consequences permanent? If a girls being toyed around its jsut as much as her fault as the guy, if not more!

If you are gonna have sex outside marriage, thats exactly what you deserve(nto u as in pcg i mean u as in whoevers doing it).

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

oh and about the book, i dont wanna read about someone elses sex life. PERIOD. Neither do i wanna discuss mine with anyone else but my husband and thats just how it shoudl be.

PCG lol yeah why dont we all start writing erotic novels?

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

PCG!
I think none of ur posts makes any point.I think it was just a knee jerk reaction on ur part to hail a book which gets attention ONLY coz its written by a Muslim woman.
Women get toyed around everywhere,if a woman makes herself a toy she will get toyed around.Why do they get involved in non-marital relationship when she can marry with the guy,the reasoning is absurd.

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

So madhanee jee whats the point of all this.

I agree that we do not have live sex shows or talk shows on sex in Pakistan but this is not desirable too.
People have been having sex in Pakistna thats why we have one of the most rapidly growing population in the world.
And regarding ur statement:

“Female sexuality is the least understood thing in Islamic world.”
What do u really mean by this?
As to my knowledge human sex behavior has;nt got much diversity.The few ways of sex have been explored by all human populations.

Well this actually reminds me of one of my patients.
An elderly Pathaan lady,in her 70’s who had dementia.She sometims used to start talking as if she in 1950…and..this sometimes would happen all of a sudden.
Once similarly she started talking in the outpatient clinic,wher one of my Afghan collegue was present,she was quikly taken away by her daughter i law while my collegue was laughing his lungs out.He told me that lady was apparently talking to her husband(deceased years ago) and was telling him that we had sex in the same position for so many days,lets make a change today

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

I dont think some of you understand the point yet again. Women are sexual, and they have sexual needs. Although the religion accepts this, and even the Prophet accepted this, and the Prophet's companions accepted this ... eventually over time, the idea crept back in (which existed well before Islam), that women should not be respected sexually.

What this woman is writing about, from the excerpt that Madhanee has put up (and Madhanee, correct me if I'm wrong, since you read it, not I), that :

She describes the heroine's sexual endeavors.

Not that she approves of them, necessarily - which is where I think you people are misunderstanding.

And with that she talks about how the heroine, despite her sexual endeavors, didn't get the satisfying relationship she wanted. The man she slept with was giving her respect in bed, perhaps, but not outside of bed.

So, I don't see why anyone here thinks that the book is condoning pre-marital or extra-marital sex. In fact, the author is saying that in the long term, this kind of sex is not satisfying.

In the process, she is writing about this woman's sexuality - i.e. her desire for sex.

She sounds to me like she's saying "Treating women like toys to throw aside after you're done using them is not Islamic, and we wont be able to solve this problem, until we accept the fact that women have a sexual side to them that should be respected, not used".

I actually said all of this in one statement, but of course, no one understood it. If you want to sleep with a woman, fine and dandy, but marry her. Otherwise, you're hurting her.

And the author is talking about the satisfaction of sex, but the hurt from the relationship.

But somehow you people think that the author is encouraging pre-marital sex. Jeez. No wonder she wrote this novel.

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

I dont see how thats appropriate though. I wouldnt want my daughter, sister, mother to write this kind of crap. Would you pcg?

Madhanee what about you? Woudl you like it if your daughter wrote about how women love sex? Or your wife or your sister?

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

^ Well, that is precisely the attitude the author is fighting against. Why should female writers not write about these subjects? Many muslims girls live these kinds of lives. If anything, its something to learn from.

Learn to practice their sex in the right, Islamic and respectable way of course.

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

Besides shouldnt a girl think with her mind not give in to her desires when shes sleeping with a man who isnt married to her? Why not stop and think that this pleasure is temporary but the consequences permanent? If a girls being toyed around its jsut as much as her fault as the guy, if not more!

Girls get caught up in the moment, just like guys do, and many don't stop and think about what they are doing. Its really easy to fall into things like this.

And MANY people, guys and girls (muslims) are no longer virgins before marriage. So what is there to hide?

This kind of novel will precisely get girls to think exactly as you've written here, Tikhi Jalebi. That's my point.

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

Madhanee ji,

I might have exaggerated by saying that urdu literature is full of sex and sexuality, to be honest I am no expert when it comes to urdu lit. Having said that, I do know that it deals with the subject to some extent.
The beauty of urdu is that one can say a lot without being crude. Writers like Manto, Ismat Chugtai, Fahmida Riaz, Kishwar Naheed, even Parvin shakir have explored the subject boldly (and paid for it too :-)) There are a number of others including Mumtaz Mufti, Bano Qudsia, or Mustansar husssain tarrar.

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

Manto is not crude/gross???????????

U haven't read Manto

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

^ Lol....manto, ismet, all these forefront urdu novel writers were crude....in fact they are only esteemed cuz they did it in a way like it had never been done before in urdu lit.

this is just one of those sheikh sahab's threads....we dont watch pakistani channels but love to talk on freedom of pakistani media..

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

PyariCgudia would you like your daughter to write this novel?

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

I wouldn't have any problem with them if they did. In fact, it would show me that they've grown up.

:)

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

Iconoclast **and ghuLail ji I dont think I said Manto was a decent writer, as a matter of fact I dont like him at all. All I said was that urdu is a beautiful language.
And this statement has **nothing
to do with Manto. The names were provided for mr Madhanee's reference only.

secondly, on a closer look... I hate to admit, we (including myself) have missed the purpose of this thread altogether.

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

And which is ...

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

I think the purpose of this thread is when you eat rus-gullay **(yum yum), give an equal share to your wife if you have one. If you do not have a wife but a girl freind, then make sure that you marry her first and then eat **rus-gullay with equal share for your wife who is your ex-girl freind also. That fact alone implies that she deserves more share than you.

And if you do not even have a girl freind then ... I think I am lost in rus-gulla world !!! Anyone knows a good place in Karachi for rus-gullay ...

Re: Female Sexuality - North African Style

dont know, guess I missed it.