God gave you a brain. She has done her part. Now it is up to you to use it well. leaving god out of the decision making will not only rid her of the menial task of thinking about your sorry life, it will also confirm that destiny is in your hands.
you are given the brain and intelligence to analyze the situation and then make the right decision. God also help those who help themselves. for every situation, there are many possibilities and to chose the best is left to you. you decide where you want to go from here and eventually you'll be liable for your decision and action [if it were the wrong one]. we are not left hopeless and helpless by God. we have our say in everything and we are responsible for our successess and failures. :~)
:) nice replies everyone thankyou.
But when do you let go? You can fight for something until the day you die, and if you don't get it, you say "It wasn't meant to be". Isn't that ironic? You think you have a choice, when you actually don't.
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*Originally posted by cat-woman: *
:) nice replies everyone thankyou.
But when do you let go? You can fight for something until the day you die, and if you don't get it, you say "It wasn't meant to be". Isn't that ironic? You think you have a choice, when you actually don't.
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I think the way i understand it is that you DO have a choice, but Allah knows what choice you are going to make. It doesnt mean we dont try. We still strive to make the right choices.
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Originally posted by Fret Wizard: *
Of course he created in pairs, man and woman. However, our mates are by *no means chosen for us already. It is clear in the Holy Quran, that Allah has given us guidelines on who to choose, and who not to choose. Give me proof in the Quran where it says that our mates are already chosen for us by Allah. I will surely provide you proof of how Allah has given us a choice in this matter.
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Allah does say that he has created for us mates,, n lets not forget that from the 6 pillars of iman.. one is to believe in Qadr.
Didn't quote the whole verses..
16:72 And God has made for you mates (and companions) of your own nature,
4:1 O mankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you from a single person, created, of like nature, His mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women
7:189 It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love).
Sorry catz if the threads derailed. :)
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*Originally posted by MyStiCaL_MisS: *
Allah does say that he has created for us mates,, n lets not forget that from the 6 pillars of iman.. one is to believe in Qadr.
Didn't quote the whole verses..
16:72 And God has made for you mates (and companions) of your own nature,
4:1 O mankind! reverence your Guardian-Lord, who created you from a single person, created, of like nature, His mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women
7:189 It is He Who created you from a single person, and made his mate of like nature, in order that he might dwell with her (in love).
Sorry catz if the threads derailed. :)
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Mystical Miss. That tells us nothing except that Allah has created "mates" for. That is obvious. Who that mate is to be, is up to us to decide, not Allah. Here is the proof of that.
In the name of Allah, the Compassionate, the Merciful.
002.221: Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the Fire. But Allah beckons by His Grace to the Garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His Signs clear to mankind: That they may celebrate His praise.
004.025: If any of you have not the means wherewith to wed free believing women, they you may wed believing girls from among those whom your right hands possess: And Allah hath full knowledge about your faith. Ye are one from another: Wed them with the leave of their owners, and give them their dowers, according to what is reasonable: They should be chaste, not lustful, nor taking paramours: when they are taken in wedlock, if they fall into shame, their punishment is half that for free women. This (permission) is for those among you who fear sin; but it is better for you that ye practise self-restraint. And Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.
005.005: This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book, revealed before your time,- when ye give them their due dowers, and desire chastity, not lewdness, nor secret intrigues if any one rejects faith, fruitless is his work, and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).
033.049: *O ye who believe! When ye marry believing women, and then divorce them before ye have touched them, no period of 'Iddat have ye to count in respect of them: so give them a present. And set them free in a handsome manner. *
033.052: *It is not lawful for thee (to marry more) women after this, nor to change them for (other) wives, even though their beauty attract thee, except any thy right hand should possess (as handmaidens): and Allah doth watch over all things. *
060.010: O ye who believe! When there come to you believing women refugees, examine (and test) them: Allah knows best as to their Faith: if ye ascertain that they are Believers, then send them not back to the Unbelievers. They are not lawful (wives) for the Unbelievers, nor are the (Unbelievers) lawful (husbands) for them. But pay the Unbelievers what they have spent (on their dower), and there will be no blame on you if ye marry them on payment of their dower to them. But hold not to the guardianship of unbelieving women: ask for what ye have spent on their dowers, and let the (Unbelievers) ask for what they have spent (on the dowers of women who come over to you). Such is the command of Allah: He judges (with justice) between you. And Allah is Full of Knowledge and Wisdom.
Narrated by Abu Huraira:
The Prophet said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.
So basically, to continue the above post. It is very clear that Allah has given us guidelines on who and who not to marry. It's quite obvious even without the clear proof. If marriages were pre-determined, then why on earth would allah pre-arrange a marriage between a muslim and non-muslim, or how would you explain divorce and re-marriage then? The decision on who to marry is completely in our hands.
^ See that's what I always wonder and always argue with my mum about but I'd like to think I have a match made in heaven anyhow.
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*Originally posted by cat-woman: *
^ See that's what I always wonder and always argue with my mum about but I'd like to think I have a match made in heaven anyhow.
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Thinking that you have a match made in heaven is just a fantasy. Sort of Like waiting for a knight in shining armor to come and take you away. Nothing wrong in fantasizing about it, as long as you know what the reality is, that we are responsible for our own actions.
I have no idea, I live my life in a complete daze and with an oddly surprised look on my face. Life is mostly in my quivering hands but I am quite sure that God is there to help me along the way.
There are too many "Lucky" and improbable things that have happened to say that there is no such thing as destiny or fate.
And the idea of destiny is like the tooth fairy, it makes me feel warm and fuzzy, and important.
Luckily for me, noone can disproove that, and even if I'm wrong, I'll stay happy in my ignorance.
Which reminds me.....
"The best laid plans of mind and men
Gang aft a-gley,
Their sightin' cantin'-grace-proud faces.
Their three mile prayers
and half mile graces." by Burns
I think that says it all
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*Originally posted by Fret Wizard: *
So basically, to continue the above post. It is very clear that Allah has given us guidelines on who and who not to marry. It's quite obvious even without the clear proof. If marriages were pre-determined, then why on earth would allah pre-arrange a marriage between a muslim and non-muslim, or how would you explain divorce and re-marriage then? The decision on who to marry is completely in our hands.
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Fret, from what i see it, i think there are 2 issues your talking about...
One is about Qadr(predestiny)
Second is about Choice/Freewill..
Allah has predestined everything, (not a leaf falls but it is written in a clear record-from the quran) and he has given us humans and jinns a freewill to choose.
Who we choose as our mate, is our choice, but it is predestined at the same time.
The only thing is we(humans) don't know what our future holds.
Quran is a guide, it has guidelines for all aspects of life, so are guidelines for marriage in there.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by MyStiCaL_MisS: *
Fret, from what i see it, i think there are 2 issues your talking about...
One is about Qadr(predestiny)
Second is about Choice/Freewill..
Allah has predestined everything, (not a leaf falls but it is written in a clear record-from the quran) and he has given us humans and jinns a freewill to choose.
Who we choose as our mate, is our choice, but it is predestined at the same time.
The only thing is we(humans) don't know what our future holds.
Quran is a guide, it has guidelines for all aspects of life, so are guidelines for marriage in there.
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It's quite obvious and has been established that Allah is the knower of all things. He knows the choices we are going to make, and knows our future. However, the point is that we still have to make the choice ourselves on who it is we want to marry, whether it's a muslim, non-muslim, or whether we wish to marry at all. The concept that our mate has already been chosen for us in "heaven" is clearly not true. Yes Allah knows what we will choose, but he also knows when we will change our minds as well. The bottom line is that we are responsible for our own actions.
Thanks fret wizard 4 da untimely advice. It is highly appreciated.