I have seen it happen before where some girls…even those who were among your closest friends…will disappear when they get a boyfriend. You hear less from them…or sometimes not at all.
In college, many people are trying to find themselves and figure out who they are and what they want from life. It’s even possible that this former friend of yours was going through some tough emotional phase and wanted to distance herself from others. It can happen. Maybe trying to manage a boyfriend…AND…classes…AND family life…left little time for her to socialize with friends. We don’t know what is going on in other peoples’ lives. We can only make assumptions and that’s no guarantee that they’re correct. Plus in college…people have different schedules…and that in itself can make it tougher to hang out with former friends.
During the time that this girl was “distant”…did Yyou make the effort to contact her? Or were you waiting for her to grab the phone and call you? Sometimes we get so used to the other person calling us…that if they don’t call in a while…we assume that we’re being ignored. I used to call a friend often…and when I was too busy to call…she thought I was ignoring her.
I’m not trying to defend this girl. I’m just throwing out some other possible reasons. It might very well be that she is a “fair-weather” friend. Most of us have dealt with such friends. And if you have noticed that this person displays a consistent pattern of inconsiderate behavior…then either cut them out of your life completely…OR…maintain a distance to protect yourself and also so that you won’t develop unrealistic expectations. Especially if you KNOW that the person is a “backstabber”…then just cut them out of your life. If this girl has screwed you over many times, then why are you so bothered about her? If she talks smack about you, why are you even worried about her?
In the end, your brother’s wedding is YOUR family’s affair. And your family has the right to invite or not invite whomever they want. If she has hinted that she wants an invitation. You can respond in the following ways:
1) Don’t respond at all. Don’t return her phone calls. Don’t reply to her emails. She’ll get the message soon enough.
**2) **Tell her that unfortunately the seating arrangements have been taken care of already and that there is no more room/space/etc.
3) Tell her that you have number cap regarding the guest list since you also have to accommodate for the bride’s huge family as well. And that while it’s difficult to invite her at the wedding…there will be opportunities for you both to meet in the future.