Event or moment which changed your life and thought process

[Noor93]

Re: Event or moment which changed your life and thought process

Well many events impact our lives.At times it can be quite hard to pin point a certain event or moment that changed us forever. Change is constant,as human beings we experience change more often than we can imagine.Sometimes we get left behind in the race of life because we hold onto those events as the sole reason we are suffering or experiencing issues.The most prominent event i can tell you that has changed me as a person,is the passing away of my brother.I was fairly young when he died,but even at that young age I saw the dynamics of my family change.My parents were witnessing the death of a child for the second time,and for them it was heartbreaking. Although in those few months I saw my family become closer than they ever were.My two elder brothers gave me so much love that in some way t fills the void of losing a brother.Ofcourse not fully,but they put there worries aside to ensure I came to terms with my brothers death and realize that he was in a better place.At that time,I never really thought about it,I cried for days after his death but I never really understood why I was so down.I was fairly young,but as years went by I started to realize what I had lost.This is when I shut my self out to the outer world. I put up a facade for my family,but I never came to peace with the idea of his death.I guess you never do,but few years back I realized that my brother would want me to live my life happily.I think that was a turning point for me, I came to realize that my tears and coldness towards the world will never bring him back.I realized no matter how fast I try to run away from these thoughts,I will always find myself thinking about him.So in those years I have learned to keep him in my heart with a smile,I have become fairly close to my brothers.I cannot thank them enough for being so loving.Lastly, I think everything we need to take away from painful events is that “with difficulty comes ease.” Its been 14 years since his death,I miss him and always will.His death in a strange way taught me to learn to move on without regrets.

-Noor

[Cashmere]

Re: Event or moment which changed your life and thought process

Read everybody’s story. Quite touched. One family member, and the entire family suffers.

I’ll share my transition into adulthood before I change my mind. 2009 - last year in high school.

I was the only child, a few months younger than eighteen at the time when my father went into comma for three weeks after a severe head trauma. His health remained precarious long afterwards. Consequently, my mother suffered months of severe depression. Extended family backed out on us. The two of us had no financial support: initially lived off of dad’s savings. I was at the verge of switching schools because we could no longer afford it. My unfamiliarity of the real world was a result of me being cosseted all those years.

At the time, apart from his job my dad owned a gas station which he let his two stumbling cousins fully conduct and benefit from. I had to step in immediately in order to afford mother and myself. Nine hours a day along with school, just watching, accumulating, absorbing information in an attempt to learn its management. Continuously misguided by these two fraudulent men who had an aversion to me being there in the first place. Took me a while to get updated with the game. Unnoticeable cash withdrawal out of the depository safe, forged signatures, contradicting shift reports, cancellations of my stock transactions and other illicit activities were being carried out audaciously. I had to get rid of their employees and eventually requested them to step out of the business as now they were well enough established and needless of further financial reliance on my father. Didn’t take me seriously. Ultimately ended up attending multiple attorney appointments and court dates.

Home was a place of emotional chaos revolving around my mother’s continuous anger tantrums - nothing more. These were times we didn’t sleep for days, my mother had become numb. I was essentially on my own. Issues lined up one after the other.

It took months to settle down again but Allah sufficed us. As for personality changes, I became firm and decisive, learned how to keep focus towards work and studies in despite of emotional instability, was now able to balance priorities, unconsciously analyze people’s behavior and motive, disaffiliate myself from numerous family members, and basically underwent a spiritual revival as a result of gratitude.

At an extensive level, I learned to have Allah as my only succor at times of difficulty. Dependence on God maintains dignity, reliance on people does not.

Versatility is crucial - you never know when you’ll be involved in a situation requiring specific knowledge or a skill.

Investing in an alternative, side source of income other than your main job is worthwhile.

Appreciate your paternal figure before you end up with no choice but to execute his responsibilities.

Blood relations do not always guarantee probity or sincerity.

[diwana]

Re: Event or moment which changed your life and thought process

@Cashmere

Read everybody’s story. Quite touched. One family member, and the entire family suffers.

I’ll share my transition into adulthood before I change my mind. 2009 - last year in high school.

I was the only child, a few months younger than eighteen at the time when my father went into comma for three weeks after a severe head trauma. His health remained precarious long afterwards. Consequently, my mother suffered months of severe depression. Extended family backed out on us. The two of us had no financial support: initially lived off of dad’s savings. I was at the verge of switching schools because we could no longer afford it. My unfamiliarity of the real world was a result of me being cosseted all those years.

At the time, apart from his job my dad owned a gas station which he let his two stumbling cousins fully conduct and benefit from. I had to step in immediately in order to afford mother and myself. Nine hours a day along with school, just watching, accumulating, absorbing information in an attempt to learn its management. Continuously misguided by these two fraudulent men who had an aversion to me being there in the first place. Took me a while to get updated with the game. Unnoticeable cash withdrawal out of the depository safe, forged signatures, contradicting shift reports, cancellations of my stock transactions and other illicit activities were being carried out audaciously. I had to get rid of their employees and eventually requested them to step out of the business as now they were well enough established and needless of further financial reliance on my father. Didn’t take me seriously. Ultimately ended up attending multiple attorney appointments and court dates.

Home was a place of emotional chaos revolving around my mother’s continuous anger tantrums - nothing more. These were times we didn’t sleep for days, my mother had become numb. I was essentially on my own. Issues lined up one after the other.

It took months to settle down again but Allah sufficed us. As for personality changes, I became firm and decisive, learned how to keep focus towards work and studies in despite of emotional instability, was now able to balance priorities, unconsciously analyze people’s behavior and motive, disaffiliate myself from numerous family members, and basically underwent a spiritual revival as a result of gratitude.

At an extensive level, I learned to have Allah as my only succor at times of difficulty. Dependence on God maintains dignity, reliance on people does not.

Versatility is crucial - you never know when you’ll be involved in a situation requiring specific knowledge or a skill.

Investing in an alternative, side source of income other than your main job is worthwhile.

Appreciate your paternal figure before you end up with no choice but to execute his responsibilities.

Blood relations do not always guarantee probity or sincerity.

Very intriguing. Thanks for sharing.

You seem very strong person and I like the fact that you did not back down to get what was supposed to be rightfully yours.

[TS]

Re: Event or moment which changed your life and thought process

Wow. Itni nanhi si umar main itni saari mushkilain and even without any siblings for emotional and other support. That’s amazing.
Looks like you did good.
Hope things are well now.
What’s the update on father’s health ? *

I wish kids who have it easy and feel so entitled to all the luxuries of life can read such accounts and be thankful for their blessings and become a little more humble.*

[mahool]

Re: Event or moment which changed your life and thought process

It was really life changing event. I really appreciate your courage. You are the man…

[TS]

Re: Event or moment which changed your life and thought process

Who’s a man ?

Cashmere is a man and you are a woman ?

Will you appreciate the courage even more if I told you that Cashmere ki kali is a she ?

[Cashmere]

Re: Event or moment which changed your life and thought process

@diwana

Very intriguing. Thanks for sharing.

You seem very strong person and I like the fact that you did not back down to get what was supposed to be rightfully yours.

Thanks, I wouldn’t say it’s about being strong. It’s all about realizing that something else is more important than fear at such times.

@TS

Wow. Itni nanhi si umar main itni saari mushkilain and even without any siblings for emotional and other support. That’s amazing.
Looks like you did good.
Hope things are well now.
What’s the update on father’s health ? *

I wish kids who have it easy and feel so entitled to all the luxuries of life can read such accounts and be thankful for their blessings and become a little more humble.

Thanks TS, it’s always nice reading your comments. Yes, rich kids and even adults need to become more humble, nothing stays the same forever. I hope they never end up learning it the hard way. About dad: He’s doing fine now, thanks for asking. A couple of years post trauma were slow and inconsistent. He has settled well now, Alhamdulillah.

@mahool

It was really life changing event. I really appreciate your courage. You are the man…

Thanks Mahool. Courage is not entirely individualistic. Sometimes there’s no other choice.

@TS

Who’s a man ?

Cashmere is a man and you are a woman ?

Will you appreciate the courage even more if I told you that Cashmere ki kali is a she ?

lol TS actually now that I think of it I’m glad to be a woman. I don’t know what I would do without cashmere scarves :halo:*

[TS]

Re: Event or moment which changed your life and thought process

Great. Good to know about dad. Best wishes to you and your parents.

[Safoora]

Re: Event or moment which changed your life and thought process

MashAllah Cashmere you sound like such a strong person, makes people like me with a few problems sound so insignificant and our whining is so disproportionate to that. Makes me sad. Hope Allah SWT brings only the best for you in future. Ameen.

[TS]

Re: Event or moment which changed your life and thought process

Insignificant. Safoora’s problems, that is. Not her.