Re: Entering into marriage precautions
I am entering into marriage and u are talking about cheating? He has high moral values and the examples in his family are amazing. All the couples are living a dream life even after 13 years of marriage...
Yeah so? He could still cheat. You sure he doesn't have any girls on the side?
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
.....
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
Ohhh a doctor and a surgeon. So you must be the trophy wife. Now it makes sense.
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
.....
Bsb, we were just testing your patience. You need it a lot in your marriage. Every married person needs to practice it. No worries, I think you passed. You will have a great marriage.
If you two love each other and trust and respect each other then nothing else is going to matter, Inshallah
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
You are way too diplomatic. I am messing with her head because of her second paragraph.
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
Good grief. 
I don’t have marital experience, so I can only give suggestions based on my parents’ marriage, those of my friends, and well…Nadz’s threads.
One suggestion one of my best friends gave was to avoid discussing every problem in your marriage with your parents and siblings. Her own sister made that mistake and it hurt her marriage. Your family will naturally be more defensive about you and their involvement and differing opinions can leave you more confused than before. Another one that comes to mind is…avoid complaining to him about his parents/siblings…esp about things that are trivial. And you’ll have to slow down and think about whether a matter is trivial and should be ignored or whether it should be discussed. But generally nobody likes to hear complaints about their family…especially parents.
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
BB...why don't you get to the finish line first?
Khayali pulao pakati rehti ho.
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
Does it have to only be the married ones? I saw how my sister in law was with my parents in the beginning and she was spectacular. How it is in the beginning sets the stage for how it will be later on. Well I thought she did it beautifully. She tried so hard to be like a sister to me. She just had this charm and sweet way of talking to everybody just so everybody instantly liked her. She called my parents mother and father and she even used to bring water or tea even if my parents didn't ask for it. She was totally sweet and blended right into our family. She didn't really get involved in any controversial topics because that can cause arguments that are unnecessary. She just never got involved in all that whether it's the news or anything. Girls that were not raised abroad tend to know how to act when it comes to family politics. She even called my brother by a name that was one of highest respect. I'm actually considering watching those desi soap opera serials just to see if I can be like them a bit. It wouldn't hurt. I mean I have respect for my elders and parents but there seems to be something extra that girls from the old country have. I learned so much just watching and being around my sister in law
If you're going to ask your mother for advice ask your MIL too, just so both don't feel left out. Since both have so much experience.
she got a bit short tempered with my mom this one time over something tiny but after it she apologized. She cried and felt so bad and kind of begged for my mother's forgiveness. There were times when she acted immature but I brushed it aside because I gave more importance to all her good qualities and I wanted to keep the peace. Maturity is very important, think a lot before you say or do something. It can cause a permanent rift. My brother loved her family and she loves our family a lot.
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
1) never discuss marriage problems with parents , family, in laws and husband. Setup threads in life1 . 2.) in ur marriage b4 yous say anything remember nothing could be cleared or edited back just as you have done (:@) in this thread
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
Also never discuss your personal life with your friends which women have a habit to do.
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
Also never discuss your personal life with your friends which women have a habit to do.
Women are social creatures. If husband and wife can not resolve a certain issue then it should be addressed to someone who can help them...
Yes, discussing personal matters aren't a good thing with third party but an exception should be there.
Entering into marriage precautions
People have covered the basics of not complaining about your husband to your family members or anyone that you regularly associate with. Everyone needs to let off some steam but make sure you don't cross that line of disrespect and change what others would think about your husband. Just don't do it and try and tackle issues yourselves.
The first two years of marriage are the hardest. Try not to take your husbands qualities for granted. Do not downplay all the nice things he does for you as "his good nature" or habit, everyone has a breaking point so appreciate and he will appreciate back. :)
Even between busy work schedules, finding at least 4-5 days a week to sit down and have homemade dinner together. I feel like having dinner every night together is really important, and avoiding eating alone if the other is coming home late or whatever. It's nice to catch up for two people who mostly work all the time. We used to eat out a lot when I first got married because I hadn't really learned how to cook yet but since then I have and it's really nice to have a nice meal together at the end of the day. We only eat out on the weekends now to get a break from the kitchen.
Doing something for yourself, even if its 15 minutes a day reading your fav book or something or him getting his workouts in etc, whatever each likes to do because its important to have your own thing to do outside of the marriage. It helps keeps a balance I believe. Even if that means pushing your hubby to find what it is and holding each other to it. Again that's usually if you guys find yourselves swamped for time with work commitments.
Not going to bed angry. Not fighting about trivial things.
Do not nag and do not disrespect his family like others have said. If you will be living with in laws it's even more important. Living with inlaws; it's really important to have your own time as well as your couply a few times in the week. Basically you have to find a balance.
There's a lot of things you can do but it will be easier to know what works for you when you are married really op but hope that helps.
I don't really agree with the part about of being more or less good looking which looks like you took out. Looks are important but marrying somebody less attractive, doesn't mean it will keep your husband close to you for that reason alone, that's really silly IMO.
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
What if the spouse is really stubborn about it and it's an ongoing important issue? If you keep bringing it up with the person that's stubborn about it, another argument will happen and nothing will change. Who would you go to to figure it out or get a different perspective on the issue?
1) never discuss marriage problems with parents , family, in laws and husband. Setup threads in life1 . 2.) in ur marriage b4 yous say anything remember nothing could be cleared or edited back just as you have done (:@) in this thread
But most of us are annonymous and if you look at the most recent threads on major issues. Most of the advice from seasoned members has been pretty rational. I think it helps OPs think things out. None of them are making decisions solely on what is said here on GS. Like the "husband is a cheater" thread, towards the end the OP did see that rationally and saw that she was jumping to conclusions and even the threads by Nads. We don't know Nads in person.
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
.
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
TLK bhai, I've met you and your family and I think you are a really nice guy, but let me just say this for the record, the day your wife agreed to marry you was the luckiest day of your life, I mean I don't want to use the words Hoor and langoor, but let's just say Mrs. TLK is a 10 and you're like sawa paanch.
All jokes. No, mostly true.
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
Women are social creatures. If husband and wife can not resolve a certain issue then *it should be addressed to someone who can help them... * Yes, discussing personal matters aren't a good thing with third party but an exception should be there.
That's the point, ask a person you think can give a better advice not like 'your husband did that now you should do that to teach him a lesson' or 'it's time to use your god given right'.
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
TLK bhai, I've met you and your family and I think you are a really nice guy, but let me just say this for the record, the day your wife agreed to marry you was the luckiest day of your life, I mean I don't want to use the words Hoor and langoor, but let's just say Mrs. TLK is a 10 and you're like sawa paanch.
All jokes. No, mostly true.
He was calling himself Brad Pitt the other day ;)
Re: Entering into marriage precautions
What if the spouse is really stubborn about it and it's an ongoing important issue? If you keep bringing it up with the person that's stubborn about it, another argument will happen and nothing will change. Who would you go to to figure it out or get a different perspective on the issue?
But most of us are annonymous and if you look at the most recent threads on major issues. Most of the advice from seasoned members has been pretty rational. I think it helps OPs think things out. None of them are making decisions solely on what is said here on GS. Like the "husband is a cheater" thread, towards the end the OP did see that rationally and saw that she was jumping to conclusions and even the threads by Nads. We don't know Nads in person.
So you took the post seriously. I see.
Anyways just curious from your previous post what is good old country you mentioned.
