Re: Eid Mubarak and Happy Holidays
My greetings to all you politically correct guppies:
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes For an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the northern hemisphere winter solstice, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practice of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. And a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country great, and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, sexual orientation or choice of computer platform and operating system of the wishee.
By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:
- The greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal.
- It is freely transferable with no alteration the original greeting.
- It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others.
- It is void where prohibited by law, and
- It is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected with the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
In reply to the aforementioned poster of the no-obligation wish for a celebration of the winter solstice, religious and/or secular holiday, and prosperous "generally accepted calendar" new year of 2008, hereinafter referred to as the sending party, I, Umar Talib, hereinafter referred to as the receiving party, do acknowledge and accept your wishes with the understanding that there is no obligation on the sending party to assure, confirm, warrant, or promise that the wishes shall be fulfilled by any action or inaction of the sending party. The recieving party hereby acknowledges that the fulfillment of said wishes requires specific actions or acknowledgements on the part of the receiving party and shall hold the sending party harmless should the wishes not live up to the expectation of the receiving party.
It shall be noted for the record that such wishes are not prohibited by law in any rural area, township, county, state, country, or neighborhood bar in the domicile of the receiving party and are therefore not subject to any known or foreseeably known prohibition. The receiving party acknowledges that the specific greetings from the sending party comply with all known laws, regulations, rules, and their subchapters regarding race, creed, color, age, etc., as enumerated in the posting of sending party.
The receiving party graciously accepts your wishes with the understanding that the receiving party humbly extends a similar greeting to the sending party and to all others world wide who have contributed to making their own countries, indeed, the whole world, a better, more generous, more civil, more joyous, more enlightened place to live and love.
The receiving party wishes without legal caveats and clauses,
Peace to All !
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[adapted from various online sources]*