My mom was always pretty easy going with the way I dressed. I've never been "not allowed" to wear anything. My mom off course does not like me wearing sleevless, short skirts, low necklines but if I wanted to, I'd never get in trouble for it. In fact, in my university days, I wore sleeveless shirts once in a while and my mom was ok with it. But I never really liked wearing sleeveless shirts anyway.
I think that is the reason why I never dressed like a s*k*a*n*k. The girls with the super conservative/strict parents were the ones wearing the most scandlist attire and engaging in the most scandalist activities.
I probably could have gotten away with it if I really wanted to, but I never really had the desire to dress scandalist - maybe cuz of the freedom I had. I just think it makes a girl look really cheap - especially when its a Muslim girl.
we were brought up pretty much like Khawateen described and that's the same approach that I have taken with my daughter......except the part about sleeveless....I've already started cutting that out for her except at home where she can get away with a tank top and shorts for bedtime.
I agree with @Deviliciousss It is really not about dress code per say. We have to instill our children with ethical and moral values. I knew girl in my uni who wore hijabs but their body language was absolutely vulgar. There was no modesty. But than on the other hand I know of so many girls who wear tights and sleeveles etc but still have modest behaviour.
It is a tough lesson to teach for sure.
ever since I born I was put in salwaar kameez or kurta with long sleeves when I was 4 I wore a hijab to school ( kindergarten) with salwaar kameez that were pretty and I loved it and all my teachers loved it too and in 3rd i wore abayas that had different colours my mom bought me some and pretty much what ever my mom I wore becuase i didnt really care until about 6th grade I was the only one wearing abayas (plain black) and a hijab so I asked if I could get some jeans and shirts and my mom told me I looked unique diffferent and I was pleasing allah so the very next day i borrowed my moms niqab and wore it to school and now I I wear a burkah!
I haven’t really ever been given a strict dress code from my parents I think. They never told me that I can’t wear shorts for example, although I myself just stopped wearing them at a certain age. The only thing they said was that the dressing must be modest.
I myself now don’t wear shorts or low cut tightly fitted tops/dresses. If I ever decided to wear a skirt occasionally, I’d probably wear it with some sort of tights/leggings.
One thing I can’t wrap my head around is mothers being okay with their daughters wearing sleeveless pakistani outfits to weddings/eid etc, but sh** hits the roof if they decide to wear sleeveless western outfits when going out I personally don’t see the big issue in wearing sleeveless outfits.
If I ever have a daughter, I’d probably raise her in the same way my parents raised me in terms of dressing. Modest but no specific restrictions on what to wear apart from the obvious (shorts, skirts, no tops/dresses with low neck lines)
Never really thought about it but I think it was just my mums example that rubbed off on me. She never said what should be worn, my sisters and I just learnt from seeing what she wore. When we were kids up till age 11/12ish we did wear jeans t shirts etc but always long sleeved and we wore skirts to school that came to just below the knee with tights. We used to wear shalwar kameez a lot even when we went out but I think it was because my mum always wore shalwar kameez and she just looked really good in it lol. Mum was and still is very nicely dressed. At home she always had her hair done and makeup on with jewellery and looked so stylish and lovely when we went out she would cover up, cover her hair properly and not draw attention to herself. I think that example was a good one for us. And wearing hijab wasn’t mentioned either lol. My mum wore it and I wanted to copy her I started wearing it in the end of primary school around the age of 11 and 12. I remember my mum asking why I wore it and I told her because I wanted to copy her and look like her and she said I didn’t need to copy anyone I already look nice but I should wear hijab for Allah not anyone else. And that talk I think really boosted my confidence in wearing hijab purely for Allah.
We always wore dupatta in the house when we started hitting puberty. It just felt right. Still do.
I hope I can raise my daughter in the same way inshallah. The best way to do it is through example I think. If you show your kids instead of forcing them and instill body confidence in them then hopefully they won’t feel the need to rebel. Communication and honesty are key.
I think because Islam was such a big factor in our house also helped. Islamic dress code was known from a young age but it was never taught in a harsh way. Always in a way that made us feel if we follow the dress code Allah will be pleased with us. I never got the “you’ll burn in hell if you don’t wear hijab”.
I personally don’t see the big issue in wearing sleeveless outfits.
when we went out she would cover up, cover her hair properly and not draw attention to herself. I think that example was a good one for us. And wearing hijab wasn’t mentioned either lol. My mum wore it and I wanted to copy her